How to become a female player?

Question

I'm tired of being a nice, sweet, and caring girl. I don't want my heart ripped out, trampled on, thrown down the stairs, and desecrated on anymore so how do I stop being a "nice" girl and start being a player?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The answer is STANDARDS... You have to have standards to push those "bad" guys away and keep the "good" guys in your circle. So when you are dating, you have the authority and the right to say I don't like you because... and then you can stop talking to them or tell them off or whatever.

The thing is some boys, who only want sex, do this to girls who are not willing to "give it up". So that means that you can choose to play nice with a guy or stop playing nice.

You are choosing to stop playing nice to guys who care nothing about how you feel. You are not mean or a player, but you are super-smart.

And that emotional pain that guys never show is still there. They choose to hide their feelings though. It's not like females can make them open up and share their emotions, even though we want them to. But if you want to hide your emotions when you date, don't give your heart away. Stop trying to feel anything for someone too fast. Wait until he shows you who he is, and what exactly he wants from you. Then decide if you want him, and find out if he wants you. After that you can start having feelings for someone. But get the truth out of him first. And if he doesn't want to give you the truth and if he doesn't want you to know who he is- RUN, Run like hell. He is not for you.

Simply be smart when you date, use your head. Take the emotion out of the thrill of being with a guy, because that emotion makes us sometimes think we have feelings for a guy (even if we don't). Good luck girl.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

there is a difference between a female player and a slut. going out and having sex with guys indiscriminately just cheapens yourself and makes you a ho, you won't get any real power and satisfaction from that. we are women, most of us can't do what men do and feel good about ourselves in the morning. so don't think the answer is in late night hookups at clubs!

what you need to do is be a goal getter. if you don't want to be taken advantage of don't let guys take advantage of you. put YOU first. you are #1 so don't ever bend over backwards to please a guy that's not your husband (or future hubby). get what you want and don't compromise yourself for a guy. be very guarded with your heart because it's precious and you know that most guys wanna use you anyway. be charming and flirty and get stuff from guys. you don't have to have sex with men to get things out of them...

Jaiyde29 · Accepted Answer

If you want to be a female player... you can't give a shit about nothing. Believe nothing they say. Always on your terms. Don't get too close too quick. Emotionally detach yourself. Have standards and write them down. If they don't fit don't make them fit-lose them and go for the next one.

Don't take them to your house. Go to their house. Don't give more than what they give. Don't expect anything.

Make sure you set the boundaries clearly for yourself and them.

Take care of yourself. Do what makes you happy. Don't do anything out of fear. Be rational not emotional. I could go on but I hope you get the hint.

ryanrhino · Accepted Answer

Well, the boys that show no emotional pain are lying! You have been attracting the wrong types of males into your life.

I don't think you can stop being a nice, sweet and caring girl. I don't think you should either. As Habakkuk said, there are nice, caring and sweet guys out there, too, so how would you feel hurting one of them?

You know what you want in a guy. Don't be afraid to be honest about it with the next guy. You have learned much from your experience. Do you really want to hurt another or do you want to prevent future pain?

Here is a rather long Neale Donald Walsch quote that may help you:

"Whatever your choose for yourself, give to another. If you choose to be happy, cause another to be happy. If you choose to be prosperous, cause another to prosper. If you choose more love in your life, cause another to have more love in theirs. Do this sincerely - not because you seek personal gain, but because you really want the other person to have that - and all the things you give away will come to you."

You're hurt now, but please don't' throw that hurt around. Use it to strength yourself.

Much peace and understanding to you.

Habakkuk · Accepted Answer

dear god please don't become one of them. You may have gotten your heart ripped out, but that doesn't mean you have to do the same to innocent guys who only want love

AllDay · Answer

about being hurt over and over

it means you have to care less and less and less

just be focused on what you want to do and never let any one else get in your plans

just be so busy with what you're doing that if a guy breaks plans or whatever you still have things to do that night

don't stop your world for a guy

madmisskelly · Answer

The answer is not being a player, the answer is not being a doormat and demanding respect and having boundaries. Its not about being a bitch, its about keeping your head and a lookout for the red flags and nipping it in the bud when you notice it the first time.

Anonymous · Answer

You don't. I understand it's frustrating always getting hurt after opening up yourself to someone. I know for me, it's really hard to get me to open up so when I do, it means that I really trust and love him. Then if he leaves me, it hurts 100 times worse because I trusted him not to hurt me. But that doesn't me you turn into a player and stop caring. All it means is that you haven't met the right guy yet. That he's still out there. You can't stop looking because you're scared of getting hurt. I mean, all through hs and college, it was breakup after breakup after breakup and now I'm 20 and I'm scared to start a relationship because I don't want my heartbroken, but I haven't closed myself up because I still believe the right guy is waiting, I just gotta keep living my life and one of these days, he's going to show up :)

vishna · Answer

be confident and set absolute boundaries. No man can walk on you, you are a special unique woman who may have had the tendencie of letting a man walk over you but not anymore, from this point on you are a confident and sure woman who knows how remarkable she is. you don't have to get even you just have to prove them wrong.

ilovemyjose101 · Answer

a player? I never heard of a female player lol You mean a slut?  It's not nice when men do it, why do you wanna do it?\ just stay away from guys like that and you should be fine.

slipslender · Answer

you can't just 'start' being a player. I don't believe it works that way... if you don't like being treated that way, why would you perpetuate that kind of behavior? there are bad guys and there are good guys- no point in attacking the whole lot of them :p just focus on yourself for awhile. get to a better place and then work towards getting back in the game. good luck :)

Corentin · Answer

I would say, don't.  A guy who doesn't want a nice girl, and would hurt a truly nice girl, isn't worth it. Don't worry about those who hurt you, because you know your own self-worth.  Someday, a guy will come along who values you for who you are.

Anonymous · Answer

What do you mean by becoming a player? There are several ways to avoid getting heartbroken and there can be several reasons why guys breaks your heart. You might be bad at understanding the guys, and the guys may have reasons to disrespect you. I don't know you.

bonedust · Answer

not to be rude... but isn't a female player a slut?

Apodyopsis · Answer

You're doing two things wrong : picking the wrong guys and being an emotional doormat. Don't take anyone's sh*t. Be strong, but dont' turn into a total bitch. It's like you wanna become the thing you hate most.

coolguy93939 · Answer

yah I really don't think a lot of girls can pull off being a player,
unless your really hot

you can lurk up on some nerds and try sexing them, if you
wanna rip hearts, trample, throw guys down the stairs.
go for them nice guys

angyismytitle · Answer

Wow, I'm sorry it sounds like you have really been hurt. I don't think playing a bunch of guys is going to make you feel better though. Best of luck to you.

beerY33 · Answer

work on becoming emotionally strong, not emotionless

Anonymous · Answer

if I guy flirts with you flirt back .
dont be afraid to tease him.
like if you guys are texting and he might say he's bored.
be like me to .. entertain me ?
and just play around.
dont be a slore, like talking about kissing him and that.
(dont do that)
just be funn and joke around with him

smallbrownman · Answer

To be a player basically means caring less. If you don't care then you can have fun with it and do whatever. Another will trot along if the first victim somehow gets away.

dvd89 · Answer

Try looking up the book...how to be a bitch...it is under the chapter..."Being a loser at playing..."

Anonymous · Answer

What I read was: "I got hurt by the guys that obviously didn't care, so I'm going to take it out on all of the guys that do, HA!"

TheMisogynist · Answer

You want to be a player that doesn't want to sleep around? You seem confused...

crystalrain · Answer

i'm pretty sure that most people think female player = ho lol but just date a lot of guys lol

snackeyg · Answer

As a girl it'd be easy. You just become a bitch and offer up sex all the time.

How to become a female player?

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