Is my boyfriend being condescending?

[Anonymous]

I try to encourage and compliment him when he does well. I usually tell him "Get it!" as a form of complimenting. He always says "What do you mean by the expression "get it?" What are you getting?" He told me that the expression doesn't make him feel any of my support. He said instead I should push him to do better. Today I told him again to "Get it" after he shared about his mea prep. Once again he asked "Get what?" I explained to him once again what it means and he left me on read. Is he being insensitive? Hw knows I'm just trying to support him

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

He is not being insensitive or condescending. It seems as though he is just not up to terms with new slang or lingos, which is understandable.


The term “get it!” could be taken literally, if not heard in a different context such as slang. Even if you did explain it to him, he probably just is not used to it being said, and would prefer more of a direct compliment.


Try to give compliments such as, “I’m proud of you!” “Great job” “Keep up the good work,” — Compliments that are said literally, not slang or with multiple different meanings. Seems like he just might not understand certain slang terms.


You know your boyfriend better than I do, and you’re the one who can talk to him… So, if he says he wants you to push him to do better, you should try to ask him what words of encouragement will make him feel supported.

[SnakeBoop]

nah, its just a stupid phrase you're using. he's already told you he doesn't get anything from you using it so say something else

[Nawlins34]

Not at all, it really does sound like he's not feeling that phrase. He was quite direct with you in stating, " the expression doesn't make him feel any of my support ".

I think to him, you're using "get it" as a catch-all phrase (you confirmed as much in the image you shared with us) that can mean at least two different things, he wants direct phrasing with you. He doesn't want to guess with the woman he's dating.

I don't doubt you being supportive, but you want to balance this effort with what he can see/hear.

Just my opinion, I hoped it helps.

[IMuser]

It's an ambiguous term. Instead of that term, use this: "just do it" or anything which is an enthusiastic form of "get it done."

In your above case, this would have made sense: sounds yummy, seems like you have a good dinner plan

[Sarahnah]

Do you think that by chance he might be somewhere on the autism spectrum? Now I'm not tryna diagnose random strangers from the internet but as someone with autistic brothers I do know that they tend to take things more literally

[Nawlins34]

This is a fair point

[TheLoneTerran]

I don't think he meant to be insensitive or condescending. The last sentence is just a weird one, but I think it was partially him thinking out loud about figuring out which phrase he wants to use with you in the future. That's all.

[Anonymous]

I’d be confused too if someone told me that. I think it’s great that you’re being supportive, try not to take it personally like he doesn’t appreciate you, it’s just a phrase/slogan that doesn’t really motivate him or do anything for him, and when he wonders what he is supposed to get he just gets confused. I can see where you’d be kind of hurt with how he is responding though. I think this is just kind of a miscommunication thing.

[ChrisOfTheAlienRace]

I always thought "Get it" was more of a sexual phrase.
I would be thinking if sex if a woman said "Get it Baby" like you do. LoL!
I would probably like it.

[Anonymous]

To me it sounds like a fun personally made up thing and if the girl I liked said it in ways like that I’d understand and might even say it back sometimes to be funny I think it’s weird he wouldn’t like it or whatever

[Sam_The_Savage]

Who the hell on earth say "get it" it's a supportive? 🤣🤣

Surprised to know even girl like you getting boyfriends. ✌️

[loveslongnails]

Just find another expression that's easily understood by him, like "good work" or "great job" or "brilliant!!"

[ArtemisSilver]

This is why you don't date a himbo

[Asker]

Who's the himbo?

[ArtemisSilver]

Nevermind then 🤣

[Sarahslater3738]

Your just being sensitive like every millennial

[DeadlyCreed]

No he’s not