Why won't he ever speak to me again?

[Anonymous]

A few years ago I developed a crush on this guy who ended up becoming my really good friend. He definitely did not like me romantically cause he would sometimes not answer my texts and whatnot, but he'd still be really nice and all. I guess he was acting kind. He became single last summer, and he started talking to me over text, asking if we could talk over the phone, and then ended up asking me to get a drink (at this point we really good friends, and i know he really liked me as a friend cause he called me one of his only ''solid'' friends from our ethnic group - still not sure he was into me tho). I felt he was just wanting to have fun, which is fine. I knew that because he was giving mixed signals. I fell for him really hard though, and I didn't wanna keep talking to someone who I knew would never take me seriously, so at the end of the summer, I basically ended up telling him I dont wanna to speak to him again cause I needed to move on, and that I have feelings for him. He responded by acting like he was upset, and that he thought it was crazy that I never wanted to speak to him again. But he said I respect your choice. I moved on and all, but a month later i ended up regretting what I did just cause i felt like it was overboard, so i messaged him apologizing, and he was nice about it, and we added each other on instagram again, and all. About two weeks later, i messaged him saying ''i can't for the life me keep trying to be friends with you" cause i once again regretted my decision to talk to him, and felt like i shouldve just continued my work of moving on after the first time. He got pretty pissed at me and told me to take time for myself. he never spoke to me again after that. Im insanely hurt by this guy. I've tried reaching out a lot to apologize, with no response. i dont know what to do. this happened in October. I've moved on, but i hate what i did because im never on bad terms with anyone. i just want to fix this.

[Anonymous]

Not saying it in a mean way, but you have to let the situation go and respect his decisions. I get that you wanna fix things but it’s not all about you and your peace of mind. You’ve already apologized your face off and months have passed, so back off now. Who knows maybe one day he’ll come around, but it needs to be on his terms when he’s ready. Trying to force a conversation or further interaction is just selfish.

[Asker]

why is it selfish? i also feel like he's blown out of proportion what i did with how much he's ignoring me. Him and i were really good friends and i dont feel like good friends would ignore one another if one were to sincerely apologize.

[Opinion Owner]

I say it’s selfish because you are acting only in your favor, not his. You’re treating him ignoring you as some sort of obstacle rather than accepting that he doesn’t want to talk. I understand you have a history and you were good friends, but that’s in the past now. If he isn’t interested in rekindling you’re friendship, it’s something you have to accept, even if it makes you sad.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Not everything can be fixed. It's tough though when you feel something for someone who doesn't reciprocate.
Maybe you are better off as things are? At least the decision whether to be friends or not is out of your hands now.

[TenkRealist]

Just leave him alone. If you ever see him irl, say sorry

[Asker]

he's not responding to my messages of me saying sorry, so why would he listen if I said it in person?

[TenkRealist]

Well he has to. Cos you're face to face

[Anonymous]

You told him you don't wanna speak to him again, it shouldn't be that hard to just move on

[In_Trance]

What does it matter?
Move on