Guys: do you get jealous if your girlfriend/wife has male friends?

[Anonymous]

I’ve know my best friend since kindergarten, we pretty much grew up together. When my friend’s parents passed away, he moved with his grandma who lived next door and since then we have been like siblings. Anyway, I caught my boyfriend looking through my texts between me and my friend. He obviously found nothing out of the ordinary, but he seems really annoyed with him. I asked him but he assures me he isn’t jealous but that he doesn’t like the idea that I have a “guy friend”. Now, I noticed he does everything to exclude my friend. So is this normal? Is it common for guys to not like your girlfriend to have male friends?

[Anonymous]

Not unless she gives me a reason to distrust her.
I had a lady friend who I was good friends with when we were younger. We reconnected on Facebook. Her husband didn't like how chummy we were either. And I get it. I also know how much she loves him and would never cheat on him. And I would never want to ruin her relationship. Do I find her attractive? Yeah. But I care about her and her happiness more. So we agreed to stop communicating.
The bottom line is this. Your partner should always supercede everyone else. You have to trust your partner. And you need to be cognizant of what makes your partner uneasy and do what you can to alleviate any of their anxieties.

[FootfetishistBoy]

Im a strong believer that men and women can be friends outside of sexual relationships, so I would probably just see it as normal.

Jealous? Maybe a little bit, but more as a compliment for how great she is.

And sometimes a little bit jealousy can be hot

[Anonymous]

I’d say that it’s pretty normal, and it’s not always stupid either, as much as many people will say that it is. Mr “don’t worry about him he’s just a friend” has fucked more guys’ girlfriends than any other guy.

I learned this first-hand years ago. I even posted about it here. My girlfriend at the time had quite a few male friends, and I didn’t trust her, especially with this one guy. Everybody here told me that I was being ridiculous, insecure, that I should trust her etc. I found out that she cheated on me with the dude I was talking about.

That’s why I don’t buy into the idea that we have to blindly trust our partners until proven otherwise, I think that their actions tell us whether they’re trustworthy or not, and having a lot of male friends is a red flag in my opinion.

Of course that’s not always the case. My wife has a male friend she’s known since she was really young, like 4 or 5. I get along with him well and I can tell by the way that they interact and how close he and his mother are to my wife’s family, that there’s no attraction there either way, so I have no problem at all with him. But if there were a bunch of other dudes I’d probably be a little suspicious.

[HighValue]

1. don't expect your boyfriend to want to hang out with your friends, guys or girls.

2. If they were a friend for years, even when both people were single and nothing ever happened between them it should be fine as long they aren't too physically friendly.

3. People in relationships should not be making NEW opposite gender friends, but you can't expect them to drop a friend that they had already had for years with no romantic/sexual contact with. That would be unreasonable to ask of them.

[litty]

Do you know what your boyfriends history is? Has he been cheated on? Regardless, looking through your texts is a major violation of privacy, so you need to talk with him about that.

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but if they prove to me they can't respect boundaries (like they want a kiss, or they bring up talking about sexual topics around her, or they avoid me if they can't get alone time with her, or they hit on her, or try to show me up for any reason like how strong they are), then I don't give fuck they are out of our lives.

I'm not going to allow other women to get in the way of my relationship so I expect the same from her (and many of her guy friends have tried).

If your best friend is truly platonic, then you need to prove that to your boyfriend. Have them hangout. Perhaps they could be best friends too.

[hafinjun]

No I don't get jealous it's me jealousy's a wasted emotion what purpose does it serve if you're with somebody you either trust him or you don't if you don't trust them then why are you with them honestly as long as I know that they're friends and they're talking seeing each other that's fine start sneaking around behind my back and you'll be gone or I will I don't care if you innocent or not you're in a relationship communication is important so it sucks but talking to each other is the most important part of that my opinion thanks for listening

[Gent207]

Your boyfriend is being a dick and I would confront him about it.
As to your question: honest communication and transparency are necessary to ensure trust grows from blind affections to mature reality-based facts.

[Sixgunsound]

Being territorial is a fact of evolution or biology. In order for a male to guarantee that the children are his, he needs to fight off competitors for you. You may be truthful about the non-romantic relationship that the other male in your life has with you, but very few men that will protect and take care of you will tolerate a significant male presence in your life that you are not related to and you obviously care for.

[SeekingSubmission]

I used to but that was before I realized that I had no reason to be, my performance in bed is amazing and sex does not always mean love... I could go to play parties wit any submissive I meet and let a guy join us to DP HER, OR EVEN CREAMPIE HER WHILE SHE SUCKS ME AND DENIES ME ENTRY TILL AFTER HE IS DONE...

I WOULD NOT BE JEALOUS IN ANY WAY AND I WOULD ENJOY DOING ALL OF IT... AS LONG AS DOM SUB RULES ARE FOLLOWED

[SayLesss]

As men grow, we see how many men would throw friendship under the bus just for a night of sleeve. He’s just concerned because he knows how other men behave. Most people have a covert nature. The only way I’d be okay with this, is if the other man is married.

[JakeS00]

I wouldn't need to be, I have never gotten jealous until she became a little more private which eventually fell through, her social media posts increased with people, and I wasn't included. I caught her talking to two guys, one of the guys was in a secret relationship with her. But it was a "crime" for me to associate with my best friend who is a girl, in a committed relationship of 3 1/2 years about to get engaged, and I'm the bad guy.

[MTC29]

My SO has several male friends, including guys that she went to high school with (one of them is our county tax collector), as well as her piano teacher.

Jealousy is seldom seen as a positive. it is nearly always considered to be a weakness.

[blissinanarchy1]

As long as they respect boundaries idc about guy friends. Just no friends with anyone you had sex with.

[TheFlak38]

If she has male friends then she is not my girlfriend.

[burlen]

Not at all. Why should I when I also have female friends.

[exitseven]

If she used to date him or had sex with him I would be concerned.

[Uptowngirl88]

You're 30-35 years old asking if this behavior is normal. At 30-35 is it normal for you to be this naive and stupid? No

[007kingifrit]

men and women are never just friends with the opposite sex. it isn't really ok to have just friends like that

[KrakenAttackin]

@007kingifrit. Exactly.

[genericname85]

No. But if she only had male friends, that would bean issue

[IsoUser]

To be perfectly honest why would I care if my girl has friends Male or female?

[driven159]

He is jealous and immature and Insecure needs to grow up

[bamesjond0069]

Most men won't be serious with a girl who has a male friend. Thats just how it is.