Is a man insecure or overprotective if he asks you to not have guy friends, have a girl’s night out, delete your Instagram, and more?

[Anonymous]

https://youtu.be/z9JiEs-VcBs

Updates

+1 y

https://youtu.be/oT2AYaN14ts

-If we are in a relationship, no such thing as guy friends except if he’s or they’re gay.

-If you were posting lots of revealing pics on Instagram and talking to a lot of dudes, that all has to go

-Girl’s night out? Depends what exactly you all are going to be doing.

Updates

+1 y

A lot of women, not all, want to act single without being single.

In the real world, guy “friends” amongst heterosexual women usually do not end or go in platonic ways. On paper, it seems to work, rather, ANYTHING on paper seems to work. To me, a woman just wants to keep the validation, attention, etc.

If she absolutely cannot depart her Instagram, where she posts all sorts of things for validation & attention and talks to guys on there then she’s not for me.

[USLegionary]

Trust is earned. If you give a guy doubt in your loyalty he's not going to stick around.

If he's asking you "not have guy friends, have a girl’s night out, delete your Instagram, and more" he already has his doubts.

In saying that a lot of girls who have loads of guy friends orbiting them keep them there as a resource or as an in case of emergency break glass boyfriend. It's like when Beyonce sang "I could have another you by tomorrow" in her song irreplaceable she wasn't lying, maybe not a successful music producer like Jay z but certainly any number of thirsty hanger ons. A lot of guys hang around girls pretending to be a "friend" when they know the girl has a boyfriend or even husband and kids in the hope of being there to pounce on a low point in the relationship. Best to avoid these women for serious commitment.

A lot girls use Instagram, Facebook, tiktok etc to get attention and get off on any amount of guys paying them attention and compliments. Also to be avoided for long term relationships.

[Ga-girl]

So you're telling me that you (nor not you) would want a female that you're in a relationship with to change everything she USUALLY does for you? You want her to stop socializing with the people she likes and stop talking to the people she wants to talk to?

If anything you should find someone who doesn't post revealing pictures or talk to a bunch of guys or hangout with people. But to find someone who is a social person and tell them they can't do that, is like like telling a fish they can't swim anymore.

It's basically showing her that you don't like what she does or who she's around. Why get with a female like that in the first place? The same reason you're attracted to her is probably the same reason everyone it attracted to her (female friends and male include).

Per your senerio, it sounds like your opinion may come from a bad relationship etc. So why not find someone who simply doesn't "seek validation."

But to answer the original question. Yes, it would seem like they guy is controlling, and insecure. Their afraid to lose her or that she's not trustworthy without giving you a reason. Of course if she's sneaking around then that's another story but your guily until proven guilty. Communication is key💁‍♀️

[GlassTop]

If you are in a relationship, you don’t do the same things you used to when single. That’s obvious.

[Ga-girl]

To an extent I agree with you

[MemeSupreme]

yes, that make me think he's insecure, but doesn't know how to handle it and be an immediate red flag. try understanding it from our perspective on why we use those things and be empathetic. if you're empathetic while discussing your insecurities, then a good partner will try to be understanding and ease them. don't make ultimatums (this is coming from someone who has insecurities too and issues to work on. ik it's scary)

Instagram: i use this when im bored, to talk to friends, and not to hookup with guys or get validation.

Girls Night Out: i want to hangout with friends that i haven't in a while and help distract myself with my daily life of work. also it changes things bc im a bit of a homebody out of work. im not going out to get guy's validation bc compliments alone awkward me out

Guy Friends: i only have genuinely 2 guy friends that i trust and hangout with out of work. they've never made a move or show intent they like me, but instead genuinely care. even one hooked me up with my ex, so it's not like he wants to date me

[RiseofArtemis]

The problem with social media is that guys always see chicks posting their half naked ass on it which if they have a girlfriend they don't like her doing it. What if the kids someday find a picture of their mother half naked with the caption "Eat my ass Daddy" That surely doesn't seem good, especially if they ask about it. You are supposed to be a good mother and not a bad influence, just like the father is supposed to be a hard working honest man and not a thug.

You'd hate it too if your boyfriend would be getting giant amounts of attention by other women if he posted pictures of himself with a string tanga showing his bulge and flexing his muscles.

Guy friends are a no go because their goal is to always sleep with a chick no mater what they seem to do. If you'd ask if they wanted to have sex then they'd very likely say yes if they don't have a girlfriend for themselves.

GIrls night out should also be banned, just like guys going to the clubs. There is alcohol which will destroy your life no mater what you do. The more morally higher we act the better our society is. All the problems we have are due to people falling for their lust. The huge amount if social media attention for women is probably the cause of a missing parent or not enough attention as a child.

[Lionman95]

I think kind of both because it shows to me that he´s controlling and not trusting her. Sure she can talk to other guys but I want her to remember that there are redlines how deep that can go before I might consider a break-up. That´s something I would talk with her about but it´s nothing I would control hence that would contradict my definition of love.

Because especially if she´s working it´s inevitable that she´s talking to guys unless she works in a female only job. I also have nothing to say against a girls night as long as I can out with my guys, too.

Only guy friends would be an issue to me if I they don´t know them. But that´s something that rather would be something to figur in a talking stage. Because if she has only guy friends, I probably wouldn´t date her. Yes there are things where I also get insecure.

[BeMuse]

I'd say he's just dumb for sticking around. If a ho wants to go out clubing to bars with her girlfriends, she's posting half naked pictures all over the internet, she's spending a lot of time with other men, she dresses like a ho, etc. and you are willing to commit to her and call her your girlfriend then something is wrong with you. You have to set some standards for the women you are willing to devote yourself to. If you want to bang her from time to time when you are partying no big deal, but you shouldn't commit to women that aren't willing to be committed to you and behave decently.

[BeMuse]

You can't change people. They have to want to clean up their lives on their own and fly right. You telling a girl to do those things is futile. She's not going to stop being a ho until she realizes her life sucks due to her shitty behavior. It's the same thing with women that try to play the mother girlfriend that always want to change guys. It's just drama.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Absolutely. He's insecure, controlling, and highly likely to be abusive.

Real men know how to trust and communicate, and can manage their partners having friends of any gender, going out with said friends, and generally living their lives.

If one of my partners ever tried to limit my friend group or activities without reason ("I'm an insecure manchild who thinks my partner should never speak to another man" is not a reason, it is a red flag), I'm dumping them so hard they get bruises enough to warn off the next person.

It's really pathetic whenever a person tries to limit the friends of their partner. It's a big indicator of control, anger, communication, and interpersonal issues. Probably mental issues, too.

Insecure men need never apply.

[whirled_up_girl]

Okay so I think this is the question that you were talking about, I guess I don't really have any real life guy friends, most of the guys I know are from work and would be classified as causal acquantances so I can't imagine really spending any quality time with them and I don't post revealing pictures that dudes can see online. Is it insecure to not want me to have guy friends, I guess minus all the revealing picture stuff or spending quality time with them, I would say so just I was would be insecure to ask him not to have girl friends. Also no girls night out, yeah I would say that is insecure because if he was secure in our relationship it wouldn't bother him, just as I wouldn't be bothered by him going on a guys night out. If the relationship is that fragile that there is no trust, than there most likely something else wrong with it.

[Asker]

So, for the girl’s night out

What do YOU mean when you think of this?

[whirled_up_girl]

I think of it as spending a night out at a bar hanging out with girl friends, I don't flirt with guys when I do this sort of thing unless I am single or course. We all go to have drinks, chat about life, listen to music. If a guy does hit on me, I'd tell him I was taken, if I was in a relationship.

[Asker]

How about an all male strip club? Would that be okay for you for an all girl’s night out?

[whirled_up_girl]

Lol, well I'm not into that kind of thing, but I guess if I would be fine with a boyfriend going to an all female strip club with the guys then it should be the same in reverse, if I were into that kind of thing, shouldn't it?

[Asker]

But you see how wrong and disrespectful this can be.

An all male strip’s club, girl’s night out, and you’re in a relationship.

I don’t know any HONEST men who would be okay with this.

The reverse is also true. I don’t know any woman, honest women, who would legitimately be okay with her husband going to a strip club with the guys.

The dude is married/taken, come on now.

I get brunch with the ladies

I get catching up and what not

All male strip club?

There’s just something rude/disrespectful to your man about going to this when you know he doesn’t like it

I mean, is it really worth your relationship with someone you truly like over a strip club?

[whirled_up_girl]

Yeah, I guess stripping doesn't bother me if that was something he wanted to do as a guy's night out. Anyway, I'm not interested in going to an all male strip club, but even if I was, I wouldn't do it if it bothered him, but it would be weird if he wanted to do that stuff but didn't want me to do it, that's where I was going with this.

[sirderpsalot123]

... You're asking if it is or isn't wrong to ask your girlfriend to give up any friendship she formed with the opposite gender before knowing you existed, as well as any other potential friendship with half of the population just because she's in a relationship with you? And she can't go out for a night and have fun with her freinds?

Everyone has insecurities. This goes beyond that. This is just pathetic.

The posting revealing photos on Instagram, I can see where you're coming from on that one. (Assuming she's actually posting basically naked photos

[Asker]

Well, you can’t post actual naked photos on Instagram, but bikini photos, sexual/sexually-implied poses, and other overtly attention grabbing for men photographs.

Also, what do you mean by “go out for a night and have fun with her friends?”

Be very specific

She can have friends with men, but they’d have to be gay.

No such thing as strictly platonic heterosexual guy friends, especially when a woman is already in a relationship with a man.

It’s weird, fake, disrespectful, etc.

[sirderpsalot123]

Yeah. That's why I said "basically naked" I'll agree with you there. I do think that would be disrespectful and that would bother me.

It doesn't matter to me where she goes. I trust her and know she isn't going to take advantage of that trust. As long as she tells me where she's going and it isn't a secret, (that's another part where respect comes to play) I'm not worried about it.

And the not having male friends, I've always explained why I think that's ridiculous. We'll just have to agree to disagree on that.

[sirderpsalot123]

Already explained*

[Asker]

So, you can agree on one part of what I’ve said, which means you can kind of see where I’m going with everything else.

In my opinion, if you can understand the whole Instagram thing, you must be able to understand everything else because it is all related.

The male “friends” thing is basically Instagram but with actual people you interact with or see in-person.

The “girl’s night out” is also Instagram.

Everything points to the general themes of validation, disrespect, attention, ego, entitlement, etc.

I’m not saying you’re this, but men who cannot do any better or who have self-esteem issues, insecurity issues, etc.

Will accept anything from women, even overt disrespect and obvious manipulation.

Because what else can these men do? They don’t have too many options and they most likely don’t understand their own value or respect themselves enough.

It’s not really about trust.

Have you heard of the saying “trust but verify”?

[sirderpsalot123]

"In my opinion, if you can understand the whole Instagram thing, you must be able to understand everything else because it is all related. "

"The male “friends” thing is basically Instagram but with actual people you interact with or see in-person."

"The “girl’s night out” is also Instagram. "

I don't see the connection. A woman posting almost nude photos of herself to get likes/comments from random men on the internet is 100% seeking validation from other men.

Having male friends and going out with her friends for the purpose of just having a good time isn't the same thing as begging for attention from men.

[Asker]

But you aren’t looking beyond the surface in the other cases.

For the Instagram one, underneath that surface is attention, validation, etc.

She still needs to do that while in a relationship with you.

It feels to good to have random/stranger men validating her while being with you.

And you are okay with that.

Again, I’m not saying you are, but men who don’t have a lot of options will be okay with this.

Or if you yourself are doing suspicious stuff behind her back as well

The other stuff follow the same appearance underneath the surface.

Girl’s night out: Dress sexy with the sisters to go out, get attention from guys, flirt a bit perhaps, etc.

Kind of like a Instagram but “real life”

I would bet, 90%+ of her guy “friends” would accept if she asked to have sex with any of them.

Nowadays, nearly all women know this.

Also, I feel like you may agree with what I’m saying, but you may still continue to disagree because you’re too far invested in disagreeing to agree with me now, although I could be wrong.

I don’t think it’s all innocent and amongst heterosexual men and women, which is what we’re talking about, it is certainly NEVER innocent.

[HighValue]

If she wants to go out drinking alcohol without him, or hangs out with guy friends one on one she is a cheater. Only other cheaters condone that kind of behavior.

It goes both ways. If the guy wants to go out drinking and she isn't allowed to come or if he hangs out with women friends one on one he is likely a cheater too.

Only immoral people support that kind of disloyal behavior and it is because they are disloyal themselves. If you think it is insecure then you are insecure for not letting your so have sex with others and live with them too. Seriously, WTF is wrong with people's morals.

[Avicenna]

The Instagram stuff is an obviously not OK, especially if she's communicating with random guys on there and posting pics of herself in a bikini. I wouldn't date a woman doing that stuff.

The male friends thing really depends on context. Are these orbiters, exes, or other guys who want to bang her? Then they cannot be her friends, much less be alone with her. If it's, say the boyfriend of one of her female friends and you only see and talk to him when all of you get together, sure, that's fine.

Basically, don't be naive.

[Marushka]

Yes. That screams insecure af and controlling. Especially when he makes any type of deal of a no. Asking to not go out and instead spend time together is fine if it's not something that happens on a regular basis and he accepts a no. I could also see the request to delete insta as reasonable if she posted nudes or porn of herself there (does insta allow nsfw content?). But there's absolutely no circumstances where asking her to not have guy friends is reasonable. This type of insecurity is a red flag and just a straight up turn off and would be a reason for me to dumb a guy without second thought.

[RiseofArtemis]

Guys and Girls can't be friends. If your guy friends are single they are waiting for a chance to have sex with you. If they were in a relationship I hardly think they'd stick around you if they had girlfriend. A mans goal is to have sex no mater how he can get it, its programmed into our brain by nature.

[Lliam]

Why would you be with someone you had to control? Let me guess, because she's sexy?

You can't change people. Find someone with similar behaviors and values as yours. Simple.

I would never try to control someone. I wouldn't put up with someone trying to control me.

I don't think anyone has a right to make "demands" on another. All you can do is voice your opinion. If you don't like their decision, too bad. If you can't live with it, it's time to find a compatible partner.

The controlling attitude is definitely based on insecurity. It's also disrespectful, insulting and demeaning. I wouldn't say overprotective because the goal is not to protect her. It is also symptomatic of narcissism.

[NoUsernameSelected]

Guy friend is a no go. He wants to fuck you. 100%.

Girls' night out is ok if the girls or a majority of them have boyfriends or are married themselves. I don't want my girlfriend or wife be in a group looking for men.

Instagram, I do not care about simps, they aren't competition. As long as you don't message men, I'm fine.

> You are insecure.

I don't care. I don't think a girl would think I'm serious with her if I wouldn't ask this. Also she is free to deny my request at any point in time as I am free to leave the relationship. But that hasn't happened anyway. Because there hasn't been a girl I considered valuable enough for a LTR. Yes - if your boyfriend doesn't care about you having a male friend, I think your boyfriend doesn't care about your relationship really.

[JustADudePlayinADude]

Wtf lol. I've had and have plenty of girls as just friends. I've never hit on them, I have no interest in sex with them, and I've never seriously considered dating them. And in no way can anyone accuse me of being gay because I get uncomfortable just seeing another guy's dick or even voice in porn.

Plus, how insecure are you that you can't trust your girlfriend to not fuck the guys she has been hanging out with months, if not years, before you came into the picture. Get over yourself or don't date.

[NathanDavis]

insecure, immature, controlling, way too overprotective, naive, ignorant, toxic, weak... and not worth at all as a man... that's just a little boy with a fragile ego, pretending to be a man of worth

[Asker]

I disagree of course, but we can all have our own opinion.

You should check out that link I sent above and let me know what you think.

I think you may still hold your belief, but you probably won’t deny that the women had very little arguments and valid points compared to the men’s.

[NathanDavis]

of course you disagree... lol

you've said it yourself many times, you are an insecure guy

[Asker]

I haven’t said that many times.

I think what I said, if I remember, is that we possess some level of insecurity over things in our lives.

This is perfectly normal and natural.

It can become abnormal if this causes one to act in extreme manners.

Also, just because I said everyone has some level of insecurity, including myself, doesn’t necessarily mean I’m insecure about this topic at hand.

I actually didn’t go at all into what I would be insecure about but I can talk about it here if you’re really curious.

Im glad I was able to clear up that confusion.

[NathanDavis]

no need to clarify it...

it is blatantly obvious to me and to many others... the things you're insecure about

and yes, we all have different levels of insecurity, and yours definitely go into extreme levels you just can't allow yourself to acknowledge it... and that's fragility

by the way, on the discussion we were having just last night... did you dodge the topic on purpose again? or just completely forgot about it?

[Asker]

“Many” others? I’m not sure I follow.

I don’t think it’s many others, but if you believe that to be the case then I would hope you can back up that claim.

As for me going to extreme levels, I don’t see how it is going to extreme levels. Just having a conversation doesn’t count as extreme, especially if no action or what not has been undertaken.

As for the topic yesterday, I felt like I knew where the conversation was going and didn’t feel like entertaining whatever set up you were planning to use on me. Also, I was tired so that was a factor.

[NathanDavis]

thought so... lol

and the lack of an answer, was answer enough... just wanted to confirm it

and what I meant is... more extreme leves of insecurity, not necessarily of actual actions but mindset

[Asker]

Well, I don’t see anyone else agreeing with you on all this so the “many” that you talk about must be a incorrect. I’ll probably leave it at this because there doesn’t seem to be any indication that you can support this claim of yours.

It’s okay, sometimes we make mistakes, but I think we should all be honest about it.

[NathanDavis]

difference between you and me is that I do not need external validation to feel I am "correct"

again... that is you and your insecurities

as for others, they just might not have the need or interest at all, on telling you about it

me, I find it entertaining and in some twisted ways, interesting... lol

men that are this kind of insecure are rarely or never taken seriously, by women or other men... but life will show you that sooner or later, well... it will make you acknowledge it because you already know it well, you're just not willing to accept it

that's why you invest so much time living through these kind of youtube videos... lol

so you don't have to face your reality, yourself... you know, out there, in the real world

[Asker]

I don’t need to send you the list of everything I’m doing day to day, but despite having my phone on me most of the time, there’s a lot in my life that I’m partaking in.

There’s no way I can absolutely prove that to you, but even if I did or could I think you wouldn’t care and still think what you think about me.

I’m not sure what you mean by “I do not need external validation to feel I am ‘correct’” paired with “that is you and your insecurities.”

You say a lot of stuff without proof.

You started with “many” people agree with you on witnessing my insecurities and such but haven’t backed that up.

Then you make a claim above without backing that up.

[NathanDavis]

I'll read that tomorrow...

I'm not exhausted but I should go rest anyway

[Asker]

Alright, I’ll see you.

I’m hoping we can be more polite to each other in future convos.

I’m trying haha

[NathanDavis]

by the way... so far

the only person that has agreed to your post as it is

goes by the name of "misogynistic pig" that should be your hint.. lmao

[Asker]

Well, if you tuned into those links/videos I’ve been posting on my questions, you’ll find literally hundreds of thousands, arguably millions of men that agree with what I’ve said.

But of course, I think that is part of the reason why you don’t checkout those links because they go against what you believe.

I’m open to being wrong.

The community on GAG is not entirely massive nor is it quite representative.
Some days, your question can get a lot of responses, other days not so much.

Even when it does get a lot, it’s only like 50 or so.

The links above have close to millions of people thing in

[Asker]

*tuning in

[NathanDavis]

you're not just open to being wrong...

you are completely wrong

first of all, those are YouTube videos... so if you assume that every view belongs to one man that approves and agrees with the content (which is an stupid assumption by the way) then you could argue that ever men that has not watched the video is because they do not approve nor agree with it

so, even if one million men watched the video that is 1 versus 150 men who did not watch because they do not agree or approve the video... just like I never do, I don't watch stupid videos like those

something else stupid to assume is... every single view on those videos counts as one men that agrees, and of that you are the proof, every time you post the video, every time you go back to it, every time you send the link to someone else, every time you go to check the video again to bring an argument... the counter is registering a new "view" so you alone could easily have 10 or 20 repeated views but you are not 20 people are you? you are just one person with way too many views of the same video... so there's the end of your stupid argument

furthermore... just because someone watched that video, it does not mean they approve or agree with it, and that is the most stupid of your assumptions and argument here... the moment I watch that video because you insist so much, and the moment that many other people in here watched it too and said "well that's just pathetic" they are not approving the content nor agreeing with it, so you just can't assume that every single view is from one different man to absolutely agrees with it

how can you be so dense to not realize that? maybe you're not so dense, you're just in denial...

[NathanDavis]

another thing... the difference between weak and dumbass men with men that are actually intelligent, the first type of "men" will always be the most loud and outlandish because they are so desperate for such attention they could never get in any other way, not in a healthy way for sure or one that makes them happy

that's why there will never be a lack of stupid comments all over these videos on YouTube... but very few of the intelligent and reasonable people will go there to argue with idiocy what is the point of that? lmao

we only that from time to time, when we feel like calling them out, lmao... which, is what I do with you

[Asker]

Yeah, I think you are interpreting this all wrong.

A lot of these things amongst men and women have been proven to be true, yet many still deny it because it doesn’t fit whatever worldview they wish to have.

Women will be sweet and kind to men like you, like your comment, and tell you how you’re being a champion and white knight for women

But, these women will never fuck you.

I think this is the hard truth that is hard for you to understand and grasp, because everything else is quite literally basic biology.

[Asker]

I can send you links on self improvement, how to dress nice, colognes to wear, how to workout since you told me you don’t, etc.

Let me know, I’ll PM you some stuff.

[NathanDavis]

what you fail to acknowledge or rather, accept...

is that not all the truths are for all men...

this kind of BS will definitely be true for some twisted mind and their twisted pathetic lives, that is true

the thing is... that these idiotic and stupid tendencies are NOT the reality of ALL men

there's actually sane, smarter and much more happier people out there

you're just not one of them, that all

so all that you have left is this kind of content... it does fit you because it represents, you...

the real world is still out there for the rest of us

[Asker]

From my experience with being with several/many women

And living close to a city where this stuff is quite literally overt

Also, biology

It is true of all men

Now, some will lie and say it’s not true.

That’s the difference.

We’re never going to agree, so have a good day

[NathanDavis]

"all men are the same as me and have the same exact experiences"

that's beyond lunacy... and rather childish lmao

almost funny... but again

what can be expected from a so damaged mindset that has no actual experience in the real world? not much...

[Asker]

Got you, have a good day.

[NathanDavis]

as they say... "you only have to convince yourself" lmao...

[Asker]

Sure thing, whatever you say, have a good day please now

[Supermomof3]

I had a boyfriend who wouldn’t let me go out to sing karaoke while he was working and once left work because of it! He was so controlling and so afraid someone may look at me. Yet he didn’t follow the same rules! I think he was just an ass! Case and point!

[jestergent]

If he went out to karaoke and said you can't, of course. I personally don't care for the karaoke hobby, that's a preference tho

[Supermomof3]

He went out all of the time! Such a double standard

[MzAsh]

That mentality in a man is very off putting and unattractive. One time I complied with such requests from an old boyfriend and I deeply regret it. It ended up being that he was mentally unwell. Never will I do that again.


Besides, it doesn’t fly with me because it would literally cost me my job and my earnings nowadays.

[NamerOfStars]

Yes. Why would you date someone you have so little trust in? Why would you WANT to be with them?

[Asker]

It’s not a matter of trust as a primary reason as to why I don’t like this.

It’s also the fact that it doesn’t feel like she’s into me, respecting me, etc.

If you’re with a woman who still feels the need to go out with her girl’s to male strip clubs & parties, have an Instagram where she posts all sorts of pictures of herself for validation and attention from men, etc.

Do you think she’s as invested in the relationship as you are? Feels as attached to you as you are to her?

Most likely not

If you’d like, the links above contain dialogue amongst men and women on this issue.

To me, all the women can say is that a man is insecure or overprotective, but the men had good points to bring up and reasons why all of this is a little suspicious and definitely disrespectful.

[Pinay_ako]

Sounds like prison to me… it’s not insecure nor protective. Sounds controlling and possessive. Two red flags 🚩that are too hard to ignore. If she’s giving you hard time, let her go. Or find someone else you’re compatible with, without changing them for your own sake!

[Lyrem_]

Nope… that’s being controlling. And if u ask her to do all these be willing to do them as well.

[Asker]

1000%

I never ask something of anyone that I wouldn’t do myself.

Also, I don’t think it’s controlling.

What is controlling is if you tell her to never go outside, go to birthday parties, etc.

Just a straight ban on her doing anything by herself without you is controlling.

I’m talking about very specific things.

[Lyrem_]

I feel like you would be crossing a line by telling her to delete her instagram. Cuz that’s for her. If you don’t like the stuff she post or things about your girl simply break up with her. Simple as that, but don’t make her follow any rules in my opinion its just dumb cuz relationships without trust don’t work anyways.

[Asker]

Many women have an Instagram where they don’t post loads of bikini pics, certain sexy/sexually-implied poses, etc.

I’m not talking about those women.

I’m talking about the women that have a predominantly male-following, posts the pics and videos mentioned above, gets a lot of DMs from men, etc.

[Lyrem_]

As i said if you got a problem with your girl break up with her. I personally wouldn’t view that as an issue as long as i know he isn’t talking to girls on it… if there’s no trust… break up!

[Asker]

Well, if I like a woman and she has or does all these things, I would hope I can talk to her about this reasonably and I would hope if can see it from my point of view and prioritize her love and care for me and our relationship over the other things.

Of course, if she cannot and has to maintain or do all of these things still even when we are together then you are right it may be best to break up with her and find a woman better for me.

[Lyrem_]

Well u asked a question and we gave you the answer if you already made ur mind about it why bother having our opinion. And we’re all saying the same thing on here so… yea if a guy asks for the girl to do all these he’s insecure and controlling

[Asker]

But from what I’ve heard from men, they do not think so. Well, not here but on podcasts and elsewhere. This site may have an overabundance of men that are not the majority, so it’s not representative.

Why do women have a hard time letting go of random/stranger men they interact with or get validation/attention from.

It’s so frustrating telling a woman men and women cannot be friends, showing her evidence and real world failures and her continuing to believe it for some reason.

Why do you still believe it?

[Lyrem_]

Ok so what if men don’t think so it doesn’t affect men if we tell u its too much then its too much. If u can find a lady that would do all these for you that’s great for you and her so i hope u find what u are looking for!

[Sirenboobzilla]

I broke up with a guy for the very reason. he did NOT like the fact that my best friend is a man, and he's also my roommate. He never got it through his thick skull that he's gay, so I left. I wouldn't restrict my partner on who or what sex his friends can be, and I expect the same in return

[GlassTop]

I had a girl who used to say her friend was gay so she could go on dates with him. He wasn’t gay.

[LordBailey]

First thing in life is to love yourself.
Next is to focus on self improvement.

If you are really making moves in life you won't be worried about your partner because they are going to be right there with you trying to achieve success with you.

If you got a partner that reveals their body to the world or has tons of friends of the opposite sex and is constantly seeking attention from strangers online, then they belongs to the streets.

If you really high value, when they leave or you dump them you won't care. You got projects to finish, goals to achieve, business meetings to attend and money to count.

Remember Franklin don't lie and he is always there when you need him.
#ApprovedLife

[Ukrainiangirl7]

If a guy told me not to have a girls night- I would just be turned off and go have fun with them anyway. I think guys need to have their own friends and women need to have their own friends and spend time away from each other at least once a month. People that can’t do that - I question the security of their relationship. Either that or they’re newly married and want to only hang out with their spouse.

[Greergr]

Well, I am pansexual. So if a man was going to try to stop me from hanging out with the gender I am attracted to, he's out of luck. I rather he trust me and himself that he chose a girl who only wants him. I don't have Instagram, but why wouldn't you want a sought-after woman? It's okay to be insecure sometimes, but if it ends up causing you to turn against the girl you once trusted, I think that is the issue.

[DarkWinterNights]

“Sought-after” usually = high maintenance or not worth the trouble. It’s a red flag for guys who are looking for relationships. Going to bars and clubs are for young singles to waste their money. If you’re still partying while your in a relationship, that’s also a red flag.

[Greergr]

@DarkWinterNights Everybody has their boundaries. That's not bad. People who like to drink and go out should probably date somebody with those likes in common. People who like to stay within their bubble with each other should date those people. Trying to change a girl or man who wants to post on Instagram or hang out at a bar seems unhealthy. Also, if you are trying to keep somebody away from those things and they don't want to, it's not a sign of a wrong person, just a bad relationship. Though, there are relationships that are willing to adapt for each other. Like she goes out to dinner with girl and guy friends, no one-on-one with the person you are weary about. He agrees to go out more or accept her having a public Instagram. Just forcing somebody to completely change a big part of their social life to fit your standards doesn't seem stable for the relationship's future.

[fonduegirl]

So that's mean it makes sense if a woman considers a guy following girls on insta and snap as "bad" and is weirded by him watching porn cause that sounds like cheating to her... That's valid, I suppose? Just trying to view it from your lens.

[Asker]

So, what exactly are you in disagreement with?

[fonduegirl]

Just all of it

[Asker]

Did you actually read the examples I wrote?

[fonduegirl]

Every word. Hence I drafted an alternate version of it. Can you answer my original opinion on this?

[fonduegirl]

I'd give you an example.

My biggest insecurity is despite being curvy, my ass isn't big and attractive enough. And still, even if my boyfriend were to like a woman popping ass in an Instagram post — I wouldn't mind it. Because I know the workout for it is tough. It's fine. He can do whatever. He can even talk to her.

Unless they exchange nudes. That's where I draw the line.

[Miristheiss]

On a macro level... he is making a wise decision to not keep such a woman as a long term love interest or wife.

Chances are there will be a lot of sheeet or drama ro make a woman with her own male entourage or a woman out drinking at clubs until 2am or posts gobs of revealing pictures on line... his wife.

It is just smart.

[Marniboo]

Controlling as he'll.. and makes that man look extremely insecure.. he needs to address his insecurity.. and he should also be aloud female friends. But if he or she is hiding texts and lying then yes he or she is right to question and have insecurity with the relationship he or she is in.. but that would also mean that the trust is broken so... relationship needs worked on or go your separate ways.. life's far to short !

[JSmuve]

It means he doesn't trust her hoe ass. Not that I'd blame him. If she's giving him cause to not trust her, then she ain't relationship material and should be treated as such. Don't try to control or change a woman. If you have to, she ain't worth it, and if she's worth it, you won't have to change her; she'll do it herself.

[ChiTown33]

I think you need to in turn ask the women whether it's OK for women to do this?

My attitude is it's fine for ANYBODY to do this. But keep in mind trust is important with relationships. If you don't trust your partner then why are you with them?

I suspect most women answering this question while saying it's NOT OK for men to do this would turn around and say it's OK for the woman to ask this. And that's VERY HYPOCRITICAL.

[Fuentes]

Fresh is the biggest simp ever & Myron is the biggest nerd ever. I just like watching the Frank Castles.

But I think it comes off as controlling more then insecure, i would not date a chick who goes to clubs or post BS on IG that embarsses me & has girls nights out still.

[DarkWinterNights]

This is my view as well. I’m not going to be controlling, I’m just not going to date a girl who is into clubs or a narcissist posting half naked pictures of herself on the internet.

[Fuentes]

@DarkWinterNights exactly I'm not gonna tell a chick not to do anything if I knew before hand that her lifestyle was thotty. I ain't wifing no hoes, so trust any girl I'm with won't be doing this or I'll be out the door.

[Ill_made_Knight]

Women are real. Just like you. They have a life that came before you. Just as you did her. This is like asking her to erase her history and give up all the things she enjoys because the king has now arrived. This lady should RUN far and fast.

[Chikky]

That's way too controlling, it's a deal breaker for me

[inhua]

a lot cheating does tend to happen from those sources which blindsides a lot guys who did blindly trust his girlfriend to the point of throwing his mates under the bus

[OlderAndWiser]

I feel the same. I don't think it's "wrong" for a girl to want to do those things but if that IS what she wants, then she probably is not The One for for me.

[SaoirseS]

Short answer, yes. You've already asked this.

[SaoirseS]

Reporting this question as a troll question.

[UniquelyBasic]

As long as both people are willing to give up the same things. It can't be one sided.

[Asker]

Well, I’m apt to agree with you, but do you think those things that are preferred are inherently because of insecurity and/or being overprotective and controlling?

[UniquelyBasic]

I think its a bit insecure and controlling to ask your partner to alter her life so much because you feel a certain way.

[Asker]

What if “her life” is interacting with and seeing a lot of men that most likely want to sleep with her? Also, alcohol, peer pressure, and other temptations may exist.

Let me ask you this, is it always insecure and controlling?

Or are you saying it CAN be insecure and controlling

[UniquelyBasic]

Its not always being insecure and controlling but it can be. Nothing wrong with looking out for her and not wanting her to be put in a position where something bad can happen but its really tricky.

[Asker]

It’s also about respect and love as well.

If a woman is into all of the things I mentioned above and is adamant about not changing anything up despite being in a relationship with you, it all feels a bit suspicious to me.

She’s with me, but still needs and wants attention and validation from other men she either knows little about or nothing about at all.

It’s like she doesn’t really respect or like me and our relationship.

If a woman can oblige this request, it feels as if she prioritizes the relationship more, truly loves you and wants to be loyal towards you, and considers your feelings in all of this.

[Jamie05rhs]

I wouldn't even want her to have a gay guy friend. They're toxic as fuck. A guy like that wouldn't support our relationship because they don't understand heterosexual love.

[EmmaMary]

Please close the door on your way out... Bye.

[fonduegirl]

Perfect response! 100/100

[Asker]

Why is it hard for you to stop getting validation/attention from men while in a relationship?

All of this has been proven to not work out , men and women “platonic” friendships that is

Also, do you have an OnlyFans or Instagram where you post pictures of yourself to get the attention of men on there?

[fonduegirl]

I do agree about stopping posts on Onlyfans if you're dating

[fonduegirl]

But Instagram is very generic, nothing to worry about. Grow up okay?

[Asker]

@anon1903

So, I think we are getting somewhere now.

If her Instagram is benign and miscellaneous posts then that is fine.

Or better yet if she doesn’t use Instagram all that much

All fine

I think what men have an issue with is if her Instagram is like an OnlyFans lite version

[fonduegirl]

But still... If the post is too slutty, someone's gonna report.

[Asker]

So, it’s clear you have a nuanced opinion the more I talk to you about this

Why did you say you disagree with everything

If I talked to you more about each situation above, you’d probably have more specific things to say.

There’s no way you’re okay with woman having an OnlyFans she’s with a man right?

[fonduegirl]

Of course.

But you didn't say just that. You've said a lot of crap. I think 90 percent of women in the opinion section would agree with me when I say yes a woman has to take down Onlyfans account if dating.

But assuming Instagram automatically make her an attention whore? Uh, goodbye! You're an idiot

[Asker]

What if her Instagram was like her OnlyFans?

[fonduegirl]

Report her posts? Lmao.

[Asker]

Okay, you’re not answering the question.

If she is using her Instagram like a PG-13 OnlyFans, would it be right for her to be told to stop this within a relationship.

[fonduegirl]

If it makes you uncomfortable, don't date her

[Asker]

So, you’re okay with Instagram being used near identical to an OnlyFans

But you’re not okay with OnlyFans?

I don’t get you, I thought we were having some agreement here.

[fonduegirl]

I'm saying that if it's that revealing of a picture, you or someone else will report it and take it down. But if it doesn't violate the community guidelines then it's probably you overthinking it.

[Asker]

But a woman can post all sorts of sexual photos on Instagram and not violate guidelines

But it is still effectively an OnlyFans

If I have to explain again I’m going to literally go insane.

[fonduegirl]

And I said if that makes you uncomfortable... You have the option of not dating her lol

[Asker]

🫥🤦🏽‍♂️

[fonduegirl]

Why are you so jealous of women? Lol. The reason they post these revealing pictures is because the male gaze follows it! L O L. So the next time you see a poser on your feed, block her okay?

[Asker]

No, it’s not that…

Let me reclaim my sanity for a bit.

It’s what you said, we were getting somewhere and then you do a complete U-turn

You said it’s not right for a woman to have an OnlyFans while in a relationship. It’s just disrespectful, gross, disgusting, etc.

Now, a woman can have an Instagram full of semi nude photos, photos of her in a bikini, etc.

You think this is respectful to her boyfriend?

We all know why she has this Instagram.

My sanity is reclaimed for now, be careful what you say or else it may be gone forever.

[fonduegirl]

I may be gone forever? Lmao, what makes you think I enjoy your company in the first place place?

😂

Instagram is a mainstream app. So anything that's too nude would be taken down, you don't need to worry about that. And if it's not, then for the nth time I'm saying this, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, YOU'RE OVERTHINKING IT, CONGRATULATIONS

[Asker]

Oh

My

Gawd

I had such high hopes this convo would go to interesting places……

🤦🏽‍♂️🫠

[fonduegirl]

And secondly, many women do this. Your girl ain't special. Many women are slut shamed for it. So no it's not the attention tool or whatever you have in your head 😂

[Asker]

That. Is. Not. It

I don’t think you’re getting why I’m having a frustrating time talking to you haha.

It’s the logic you just demonstrated that literally tied the neurons in head in a crazy fashion

[fonduegirl]

Do you have a girlfriend who does this? If not, yes I don't get your frustrations at all

[Asker]

Maybe I’m wording stuff incorrectly.

Let me actually have some patience and talk from a different angle

Let me ask you this

Is it okay for a girl in a relationship with a guy, to go to a male strip club with all her girlfriends

Does this feel even a bit wrong or disrespectful for the guy in your opinion?

This answer will be the deciding factor of if I continue to talk to you or not

Also, please don’t say “you can choose not to date her”

Please do not say that lol. I’m going to die

[fonduegirl]

Yes. It's okay. Unless she sleeps around with some guy there, it's okay.

[Asker]

Hmm

But can you see why the boyfriend or husband would not like this?

[fonduegirl]

Yes I do. It'd bother me a little if she was my girlfriend.

[Asker]

So, what the heck lol.

You understand what I’m talking about then.

You should understand the whole Instagram thing too if you understand this

If she’s single, she can whatever she pleases of course

But when with someone, you’d like to consider their feelings too.

There’s just something not right or respectful about me going to the strip club with my guy friends and telling my wife to be okay with it

Right? It’s not fair to her and it is not right

I’m married

[fonduegirl]

All I'm saying is, I won't stop my partner from having a great time as long as they don't exchange nudes or sleep around.

Married eh? I pity your wife. She must have a hard time dealing with a man who has toxic set of beliefs on how men and women can't be friends and such.

[Asker]

I’m quite lovely to her and support her in everything hahaha.

She knows it’s disrespectful to do certain things to your spouse in a relationship. If you love and care for your husband or wife, you naturally find it easy to not want to hurt their feelings.

Thanks for talking with me, you’re not smart and you don’t get what I’m saying.
Also, your logic is hypocritical I’m not sure you understand it yourself

[fonduegirl]

How's that hypocritical? I'd give my man the same amount of freedom

[fonduegirl]

And it's not just me, many women in your pink opinion section are commenting how not dating such a man would be good riddance

[Asker]

No, but you’re not getting how it is just wrong to do while in a relationship or marriage.

But at the same time, you just told me the OnlyFans is not okay

Freedom to do whatever you want in your relationship just leads to chaos and disgruntlement.

There has to be boundaries because people have feelings, thoughts, etc.

If there aren’t, the love is not there yet.

So, I’m confused.

Is English your first language?

[Asker]

@anon1903

Very few in the world use this site

Not a good representation of women

If you talk to women outside of this, reasonably, they will say things different

IF they love or like the man.

[fonduegirl]

Boundaries are important. But the dealbreakers you have are directly controlling.

No, English isn't my first language. But dare I say you're just a sucky communicator? Just a strong guess.

[fonduegirl]

I hope the same goes for you. I would definitely not wanna come in the 1m radius of you. Or men like you. 😂

[Asker]

No, you clearly have a weirdly shaped reasoning.

If a woman needs the attention/ validation from men even when married or in a relationship

That is wrong

The women I’ve been with have all agreed with me on this.

The women my friends have been with agreed to this

It’s not controlling if I don’t like you being with all men “friends”

They are not your friends, trust me.

[Asker]

Well, then, you will be avoiding the majority of men…..

See, you obviously don’t get what I’m asking.

Fucking dumb, goodbye.

I legitimately tried with you

[fonduegirl]

Not all women do that. Some post revealing pictures because they're hot and confident, to boost their own self esteem.

[Asker]

Believe me, most of the time it is correlated to getting attention and wanting attention from nearly random men online.

It’s like a drug…

[fonduegirl]

I'd date women. :D

[Asker]

Yeah, go and date women.

You’d be a fucking headache for a man lmfao.

[golden-locks]

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


That’s all I can say.

[jestergent]

Honestly your probably not his type. He can't change you... He should look for something else..

[eightyeighthgender]

Not overprotective, but insecure and controlling.

This will end in tears (Yours).

Run a mile and then keep going.

[ArtemisSilver]

If you're looking for that level of commitment you might be looking for a wife, not a girlfriend.

[Jenny-Marie]

He would be arrogant and controlling. A relationship is teamwork, a partnership between equals. It would be a relationship and existence to nowhere, it would be better to live alone.

[Luopio27]

Those guys sound like the typical bad boys that many pretty girls chase, while running away from the nice guys that finish last.

[Quigly]

If a woman is constantly seeking the attention of other men there is certainly something wrong with her. It has nothing to do with him.

[007kingifrit]

no, he is wise. men and women are never friends. and instagram does serious emotional damage to women

[TonightYouu]

Every man is insecure until…

https://www.youtube.com/embed/3IagdBcRKt4

[Smashingdoozy]

Yes. Also shows you have major trust issues that need working on. If you can't trust your partner why are you with them?

[Asker]

I disagree.

To me, it’s not just about trust.

[Smashingdoozy]

What is it then?

[Asker]

So, have you seen what I said to others on here?

It’s about respect and I guess you can say love.

Why do you need so many men around you, validating and giving you attention when you are with me?

To me, it feels like the relationship is flimsy and that you are being disrespectful towards me.

Maybe you don’t like me a lot, maybe you are keeping some of those guys as backup, maybe you just love the attention/validation too much, etc.

Either way, it doesn’t seem like the woman is into the relationship or prioritizing it.

I would do the same for her because I love and care for her. I know it wouldn’t be respectful to her if I told her “hey, I’m going to the strip club with all of my boys, stay here until I get back.”

The vast majority of women would not feel positively about that even if they knew the man isn’t fucking the strippers.

I know you can see or at least feel what I’m saying. Also, I’m going to take a guess and say you’re not this way so please you don’t have to defend this from women who are.

[Smashingdoozy]

Makes literally no sense. Why would she go for you if she's keeping guy friends as back up? I question it as a woman with a lot of guy friends whom I wouldn't dream of dating and who don't treat me like I'm datable. The whole idea is confusing to me. Wanting your partner to be solely reliant on you for all forms of support is toxic and controlling.

[Asker]

I don’t want her to rely on me for all forms of support.

This is not that.

To me, it’s a matter of, can a woman relinquish what makes her feel powerful (validation/attraction from many men) when in a relationship with me?

For a lot of women, not all, they feel all their self-worth is correlated to how many followers or likes they have, how many men they can get to pay for their OnlyFans, how many guys approach her at the club, etc.

I don’t feel comfortable with it, I don’t like it, but I like and love you.

So, which is more important to you/the woman?

The relationship or the validation/attention you get from all of the things I mentioned above.

Most women know their guy “friends” don’t really see the dynamic as platonic. If the guys are honest, they would fuck nearly instantly.

This shouldn’t be a surprise in the least.

Women can be friends with men

Men cannot be friends with women

Women have a separate set of friends and men she’d actually be with

For men, it’s nearly all the same.

So, you may not have a thing for your guy “friends,” but it’s not the same way and I think you know that deep down inside.

If not, well, now you know.

Also, guys lie so they of course won’t say they want to fuck you if they’ve established a “friendship” with you already

Unless you are literally serious and drop all your clothes in front of him.

[Asker]

If she wants to go out with her friends for brunch, that’s different than a “girl’s night out” where she goes to the club, dresses a certain way, etc.

It’s all sus when she already is in a relationship with a man.

It’s weird, disrespectful, gross, attention-seeking, etc.

Especially if the guy is willingly to match everything he is saying and is willing to reciprocate.

So, he’s not going to the strip joint with his buddies.

Putting on his nice cologne, dressing nice, etc.

Come on, I’ve watched enough stuff where women will play dumb with all of this and I seriously do not want to think you are following the same path as these women who make it seem like they are oblivious

You know what I’m going on about.

[Smashingdoozy]

Then don't date women like that? But you can't expect anyone to give up already established friendships for you simply because of their gender.

I know for a fact my guy friends would never date me. They literally talk about how I'm basically a weird little sister to them all the time. You have such little faith in your own gender. Just because you think a certain way and only see women as sexually attractive doesn't mean everyone else does. I've literally been butt ass naked infront of like 5 of my guy friends, they've been butt ass naked infront of me, softies all around.

Not wanting her to go to a club with friends is controlling. You're not worried about what she will do you're worried about other men. Telling any girl to do this bullshit will either end up with you getting your ass dumped or lied to.

[Asker]

I just think, part of why people like Andrew Tate, FreshandFit, Kevin Samuels, and more have gotten more and more popular and viral is that women are either intentionally or unintentionally unaware of the differences between men & women when it comes to sexual dynamics.

I think a lot of men do not want to believe what they say about women, but how could you not when even women such as yourself find it hard to part ways with your guy “friends” even when in a relationship?

On paper, it shouldn’t be too hard, especially with a man you like.

Also, once you know that literally no man, heterosexually speaking, sees a woman as purely a friend, you start to understand why you even have guy “friends.”

Millions upon millions of men, a majority throughout the US, including major influencers and celebrities understand that a woman with an OnlyFans, similarly formatted Instagram, and more

Is probably not wifey or serious commitment material

It’s broken down so intelligently as to why

What’s crazy about this?

The women themselves seem to have nothing intelligent to say to this.

“Uh… well, he’s just insecure, yeah, that’s it!”

“You’re just controlling.”

This is the bulk of their response.

As a man, depending on where you live, you really have to vet the women you want seriously.

If she can’t do any of the following or at least talk to you about

What the majority of men have been saying seems to imply this is a red flag.

[Smashingdoozy]

Again if you don't like those types of women don't date them. They are literally the minority.

[Asker]

Minority, as in? Are you referring to women who won’t drop talking to, interacting with, or getting attention from other men while in a relationship?

[Smashingdoozy]

The ONLY reason you have these thoughts is because YOU don't respect women and assume everyone else thinks like you. Gag is not a good place for you, your thoughts are being validated by men because this site attracts that type of men. Just like how Instagram and only fans attracts a certain type of woman. If you asked men on the street these questions they'd say the same thing all the women are.

[Smashingdoozy]

Women who post promiscuous selfies on it and/or have an only fans are the minority

[Asker]

I 1000% respect good women

Just like you 1000% respect good men.

I want to believe women are good, most men want to as well, also, most women want to believe men are good

But you and I are literally having a discussion on why you still want to keep getting attention/validation from males in your “friends” circle even while in a relationship

Also, you never did comment on the OnlyFans thing, Instagram, etc.

If she has an OnlyFans, should see stop it when getting into a relationship?

[Asker]

Women who post promiscuous selfies on it and/or have an only fans are the minority

^ I would ideally like to believe this and I do think it is actually true.

But then you have the women who insist their male “friends” are actual friends and by no means will they stop or lessen their time with them even in a relationship. Then after you tell these women the truth, perhaps even prove it to them, they just like being around all men.

[Smashingdoozy]

It's not attention and validation. It's friendship. You act like they sit there and tell me how pretty I am 💀 we go to bars, hiking, skating, road trips. We just talk.

Entirely depends on the relationship, if your partner is not ok with it then absolutely you should either stop or not date them.

[Asker]

Every woman I’ve been with, once talked to in-person, never through text, has at least understood what I was saying.

Now, one of them admitted she likes being around all men, the attention/validation that is.

I still fucked this bitch, but that’s it. I fucked her before she told me she had a bunch of guy friends that understand her better than women

😶🫤 gee, I’ve never heard that before.

BUT

I actually respected her more because she knew exactly the truth/biology behind this and still told me to basically fuck off.

[Asker]

I’ve also been with women who admitted they were sluts and whores.

100% respect for them, even though they are trash humans

They were honest about being a slut.

They never lied to me.

All of this, after being with them.

I only regret wasting my money on them, even though I did fuck them.

To me, it just wasn’t worth it because I was wanted a serious partner.

[Smashingdoozy]

Highly doubt that actually happened. The more Andrew Tate you watch the more unattractive you get. Grow the fuck up.

[Asker]

Unfortunately, I think that’s why he and others have gotten extremely popular

Because men have started to grow up

Through my experience, maybe because I live close to Miami, these women are nearly identical to what Andrew Tate is talking about

Literally, it is sad.

Maybe I should move.

This is why I stopped matching/hooking up on Tinder because it was literally toxic for my relations with women.

Bumble was better
Hinge as well

But amongst this, meeting women in places like a library, workout center, fair, and other places NOT the club

Has improved my outlook of women, because these were GOOD women.

Do you think you will get a good woman from a nightclub in Miami on a Saturday? Haha……

[Smashingdoozy]

Nobody should ever be looking for a partner in a nightclub. It's just morally wrong. Almost everyone there is in a vulnerable state and unable to make sound decisions.

I do understand your theory. Like yea sure my guy friends could have sex with me given the opportunity. But they aren't given the opportunity because I would never do that. That's where the trust aspect comes in. Because if I have sex with any one of them it's either against my will or I initiated it and if the latter happened while I'm in a relationship then I'm an asshole anyway.

[Asker]

So, now it seems like you’re moving a bit towards me.

Before, I thought someone like you is just set in stone in what you believe no matter what is told or shown to you.

I don’t feel good telling a woman she can’t do this or that.

That’s why, I’ve never in my life, in any of the relationships I’ve been in, told a woman she can do this, can’t do that, etc.

I just talk to her and tell her WHAT I don’t like and WHY.

Most of the time, they can understand and try to fulfill my request if it’s reasonable and if they care/like/love me.

If I just text her she’ll be like “ew, controlling and insecure, bye boo boo.”

That’s why I never text this stuff

I sit her down and talk to her about this.

I tell her I’m willing to also not do exactly what I tell you I don’t like/want.

I’ll even have her talk to friends of mine, men, who are “friends” with women and why they are so called “friends” with them.

[Asker]

I just want her to at least think from my perspective because I 100% get hers.

Her and your perspective, I will sum it up and tell me if I’m wrong:

“These are just friends of mine, yes, they’re guys that are probably straight, but I’d never fuck any of them.

I don’t see them that way. “

[Asker]

Tbh, if what you say is actually true and that they have zero feelings for you and you them, then I can see from your perspective.

I’m just trying very hard to believe this.

Also, I don’t think the majority of women with male “friends” are in the same situation as you with your male friends.

If you’re telling the truth about not wanting validation, attention, etc.

Then I’m sorry.

You are quite literally 1 in a million.

[Smashingdoozy]

I've been friends with these dudes since like 2011... I think all our pictures together speak volumes when you compare them to pictures with my girls they're the same. Platonic friends just vibing together.

Maybe worth noting that a few of the guys have been in relationships since forever, few are gay and one is aromantic.

[Asker]

The gay and aromatic dudes I totally get.

It’s everything else that is hard to wrap my head around.

Maybe it’s where I live around, but in Miami it seems like everyone is “friends” but fucking.

I’m like: what

This woman I was talking to recently told me she has a guy friend that wants to have sex with her

Yes, this was a literal sentence, all words included 100%

[Asker]

I’m not sure where exactly you’re from or what group of people you mingle with

Maybe the men there are different

Here, “friends” is such a misused word.

Most of the time, men just want to fuck. They can’t help it.

If they have to be “friends” with you and fuck you at a later date, men are patient creatures.

They’ll try other prospects while still being “friends” with you. They’ll be nice, knight in shining armor, etc.

If you have hot friends, then these leech “friend” men will go attach onto them.

Men lie
And men lie the most around sex and getting sex keep that in mind

[Asker]

Maybe your group of people are unique in the US.

I’m actually being serious.

Although, I find it hard to believe that if you offered to suck them off right now they would find that disgusting and not want it.

Guarantee you, if they see you’re okay with it and serious, they’ll do it.

These are not friends.

[Smashingdoozy]

I'm from California were all pretty open and loving here

[Asker]

Yeah, sure you are

[TroyDT]

Control freak. Same for a girl who does the opposite to a guy.

[Anonymous]

None of my male friends were ever attracted to me :( Also how tf do you "act" single

Sounds insecure though, but if she's posting pictures in bikinis, that is questionable

[RiseofArtemis]

How do you act single? No one can act like they are in a relationship or single. You act single by saying you don't have boyfriend and constantly let dudes touch you and go to parties. If you would be in a relationship you would be doing something worth with your boyfriend. Our modern society is created to destroy us by using our desire for action in our boring lives. If your girlfriend's are single they will cause you to be single too. Hedonism is pretty much going to destroy us and its everywhere nowadays in what people do to have fun.

[sheikalana]

It's actually controlling.

[Asker]

How is it controlling?

He’s with you, why do you feel the need to get attention from, interact with, or get validation from other men?

[sheikalana]

Is not about validation and my man is one of my priorities but asking me to unfriend my male friends that I met before him and have been there for me through hard times? I wouldn't do it and I never asked him to do it either.

[Asker]

Well, I’m not sure you tune into Andrew Tate and other similar influencers or crowds, but I think part of why they have become viral and have influenced millions upon millions of people, majority men now most likely, is that they outline the differences between men and women.

Do you really think the male “friends” you have are strictly seeing you as a friend?

What if I could prove to you they weren’t but still acted as if they were.

Would you even care?

Men have a talent of making women feel special through lying. A man can be friendly but it’s all a lie to get sex.

Men want sex.

Men know this so when a woman says she has male “friends” that just understand her better than anyone else

Red flags start to appear within the majority of mens’ heads

[Lliam]

@embracethepain. Why am I not surprised that you listen to Andrew Tate for advice about women?

[Asker]

@Lliam

I've tuned into what he's said since he's everywhere on social media, but no I don't consult him on advice for anything.

[Yurvurst_Knightmer]

Very insecure, red flags up the wazoo

[LazerBean]

Mentally ill.

[Batmanismydaddy]

Insecure to the bone. Run away

[TacosRAwesome]

More like controlling.

[madisondlatham]

Yeah that's a red flag. Sorry

[Savantine]

your right and I'm Not Sorry about the facts.

[prosmind]

He is definitely insecure.

[petitedollbabee]

Definitely

[kikissss]

Yes he can go bye!

[CuriousMufuxka]

Not cheated on.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

He is TWIPPIN TWIPPIN

[MisogynisticPig]

Nope.

[FunkyMonkee]

Insecure!

[ZenJen444]

He's both

[ZenJen444]

Sorry just insecure and mentally ill. I would avoid him