Why do men call women ugly when they get rejected?

[Anonymous]

I often hear from friends that men call women ugly after they get rejected. I have never had a man approach me directly since I am an introvert, have just one friend, don't attend parties, and have always been to girls only schools. I use my social media accounts to post photos clicked by me (eg:- nature) and none of them have a single photo of my face.

A few days ago a guy I attended a class with for a month, messaged me. We never talked during our classes and I didn't even know that he existed. He said that he liked me and there was appearnely no reason why he was feeling that way. I turned him down politely saying that I was interested in someone who didn't have any reason for liking me.

The guy didn't lose hope and tried for three times. And then when he finally realised that I wasn't interested in him, he said :" you are okay looking. But can't ever be beautiful". Then after a few minutes, i received another message that says :" you are very ugly. My future girlfriend will definitely not look like you."

I didn't understand what was wrong with me. My tone was probably a little sarcastic during his third attempt but not mean. And his appearance was never mentioned by me.

Personally I deal with Body dysmorphic disorder and suffer from a lot of insecurities. His words have made me feel even worse.

Did he call me ugly because I rejected him or was he being honest?

[ohsheeT]

You can't really look at it that way I mean you can but that's a waste of time you know that you're beautiful you know that you're a good person you know you have passion inside your heart you have love inside your heart you know exactly who you are and who you want to be and that is beautiful I would say you're very beautiful person on the inside of it and a very beautiful person on the outside

You're an introvert so I would say that you are very intelligent very smart I would say you feel things deeper you see things deeper than most people and that is a beautiful thing too

When a guy gets rejected I don't know how to act they are embarrassed and for what I don't understand it I think it's because they take rejection as they're not good enough and instead of them being honest with themselves and thinking it's cool she just doesn't like me that's all right like that and there's nothing wrong with that you have to respect that the guys look at it as if it's the end of the world you just rejected me it's not my fault I'm going to make you look bad it's you're the one that fault you're ugly you're disgusting you're this you're that whatever they can think of to hurt you because they're hurt because of their ego not because of reality

And the poor guy LOL if he only knew that he just blew it even more because now he showed his true colors on who he really is and you could always say dude this is the reason why I did not want to go out with you because of who you are and how you act grow the f****** I rejected you because I was not interested in you not because I didn't like you or anything like that just because it's not my thing right now you're not my thing right now it's too bad you just showed me exactly who you are

So first things first Let It Go you're not ugly you know that and so just keep going forward don't allow him to win by making you feel something that only you can make yourself feel anyway you can be angry you can be this you could be sad you can be that you can get anything you want but remember you're the only person inside of you that can make you feel that way that guy can make you think or try to hurt you but he can't hurt you because you have done nothing wrong and even if you did something wrong Only You Can Hurt You by allowing yourself to feel that so always smile you know you're beautiful you know you're good just keep being that person and next time you see that guy just say hey thank you buddy thank you for showing me who you really are

[Anonymous]

"Did he call you ugly because I rejected him or was he being honest"?

Yes.

Which one? Does it matter? It doesn't change reality. Should guys call women ugly that reject them? no. But women shouldn't lead guys on that have no real interest either and unfortunately that happens as well.

[Asker]

There is difference between 'leading on' and 'being nice'. I don't think I would do anything that would make a man interested in me romantically. Plus, I have added - I am an introvert. Therefore, flirting isn't really my cup of tea.

And I never talked to him before that. The first day he messaged me, he said "I like you, be my girlfriend". I politely stated that I wasn't interested. After that he tried two more times and I replied the same way. And then, all of a, sudden he started calling me names.

[Asker]

*a difference

[Opinion Owner]

I don't doubt YOU FEEL that way. The question is if you asked him the same question would he agree. See there's always 2 sides to every story. And most women who'd lead a guy on would never ADMIT to it. Women are Notorious for being evasive with feelings and truth.
For the record I never said you led him on. We just don't know.

[Asker]

I did ask him whether I was leading him on. English is not our native language and there probably isn't a word for that in my native language. He didn't understand properly since his English is very weak. However, he said that whenever he talks to a woman, he starts the conversation with the hope that eventually she would end up liking him. He also confessed that he has had a hard time making female friends and has been rejected by innumerable women.

I understand that some women lead men on. But there are men like that too who just can't have a normal conversation with anyone from the opposite sex.

[Opinion Owner]

What's your point? You asked a question and I'm trying answer it. I really don't care if you led him on or not or if he hurt your feelings. You just asked why. I'm trying to help you understand why. If you really don't care about his feelings (or that women lead men on because guys do it to women and you feel that that makes it ok) and that might have been why, then why should he care about your feelings? Life's pretty simple you can turn left or you can turn right you can be a nice person or a complete a**hole. But just because you're a nice person does not mean people are going to be nice to you. It sucks but that's reality

[Asker]

It's not my problem. You pointed out the thing about leading on while I have stated with the very question that guy has no connection with me in the past. He just out of nowhere said that he liked me and the reason, the only reason behind that was I was a woman. Isn't it normal to reject someone you actually don't know? And how come I hurt his feelings if he has no feelings for me at all?

He said mean things to me and I asked what can be the possible reason. You have given your opinion about leading on. I denied it as IT'S REALLY NOT THE ISSUE. And I never said that I don't care about women leading men on. It's just not something I am dealing and that has no connection with it. Yes, the last segment of your answer is the only reasonable response I have received.

[Asker]

*had no connection
*dealing with

[Opinion Owner]

"He had no connection to me in the past". That you know of! See that's my point. You don't get to decide what he's feeling or what his experience was. You have no clue how long he observed you before asking you out.
Look, I'm not busting your chops. I'm just trying to make you understand that your experience isn't the only one in play here. And I'm certainly not not condoning what he did. Regardless of whether it was warranted or not. It's pretty normal for a guy to get angry at being rejected. Because anger is the only acceptable masculine emotion for a guy to show in that situation. I don't fully expect you to understand it. But it's true. It makes total sense to me why he did it. Doesn't make it right, but it's completely logical.

[Opinion Owner]

I always tell guys swallow that anger, even if she led you on. Because a man controls his anger.

[Asker]

Well, I am demisexual so I don't understand allosexual perspectives properly. I thought he didn't know me as he said "I will not be able to recognise you properly, if I see you in person". Plus he has had such experiences with many women. He even tried to badmouth about another classmate of mine who rejected him. So it's probably his way of coping with rejection. But one thing I agree with you is that, irrespective of gender, that everyone should be able to control themselves from showing anger to someone that was not responsible for leading them to delusions.

[Opinion Owner]

Assuming it was delusion. Again this is one side of the story.

[FilmGuy93]

Sometimes people respond to feeling bad by trying to make others feel bad

[tfan1]

He felt hurt that you turned him down, so he wanted you to be hurt too. At least that’s the way I figure it. But he should have accepted and walked away instead of retaliating back at you.

[tafarrier]

I've been rejected, and I've been used. since im i standup guy, i respect ladies choice. ladies have used me to make others Jelious. used
if i ask a big black beautey to dance, dont get huffy, ill make my way to you.

[Asker]

I am sorry to hear that. It's normal to treat people the way they treat you. But what I was trying to suggest was that I didn't want to get called ugly by someone I was polite to.

[Jackblue]

It was because you rejected him, it is a very old story. If you haven't you should read the children's fable of the fox and the sour grapes by Aesop.

[Rockstarrrrr]

Women are petty when they're rejected too...

[Asker]

Probably, yes. But as I am a polite person and this was my first time getting asked out by someone, I wasn't really expecting that. If I ever approached someone and they turned me down the way I did, I would have never even thought that way about them.

[Rockstarrrrr]

I know... I'm telling you... Most people DON'T handle rejection well... it's really stupid but it's reality... Better Get used to it

[Asker]

Yes. I think it felt so bad because it was my first time.

[Rockstarrrrr]

Yes.. Specially if you're sensitive.. let's hope you won't stumble on people like this a lot

[TroyDT]

I never do. But some guys are thin-skinned and need to convince themselves that she wasn't so great.

[Shamalien]

“Oh well you just gay”

“yeah well you have a small dick”

both genders respond badly to rejection

[Anonymous]

They want to make sure that she knows what a good guy she missed out on.