He never texts me first?

[7barbieringz]

I met this guy at work, he's about 7yrs older than me and has a kid. We hit it off instantly, I actually ended up asking for his number, he said he was nervous to ask me because he didn't want to seem inappropriate. We texted for a bit and all seemed well, we made a date and he ended up cancelling because his kid got sick. He also just won custody and apparently it was really messy and expensive.

The past 2 weeks I've been texting him first, when I do he responds quickly but he never reaches out first. Yesterday at work he talked to me and sat next to me and even walked me out of the building. I walked by him today and he didn't see me. But usually I go up talk to him but today I didn't since he didn't see me, but I also don't want to text him first again.

Should I stop texting him all together?

Updates

1 y

So update, I might have been over thinking it. I guess the age gap makes more of a difference than I realized. But apparently he was looking for me all day so, yay 🥰

[BlueScorpio]

Yes, you already reached out to him multiple times now it's his turn. You don't want it to be a one sided conversation, you also have to keep in mind he's a single father so he's probably going to be unavailable a lot. His kid comes first before you do so not talking as much or dates getting cancled/postponed might be a regular occurrence. At this point it just sounds like he's either too busy or not interest enough to keep a conversation going. I would step back a bit and see what he does, if he doesn't contact you first after while then I would leave it alone.

[7barbieringz]

Yea I was thinking he might just not be ready for anything. Because he told me he was interested in me. But I think he just has more to worry about than a 26 yr old chick lol

[Fireguy17]

He sounds like he has a lot on his plate.
He just got custody, so he is dealing with being a full time dad, he is probably also dealing with the bitter ex that lost custody, he has work, not sure if his kid goes to school or daycare.
His day is full before he wakes up, so not to sound bad saying this, but try to understand, you may just not be his number 1 priority right now.
Patience will go a long way right now.
Just being there for him now will help out a lot in the future when he can get things in check.

[7barbieringz]

This is kinda what I was thinking. I was telling a friend of mine that me and him are in very different places in life right now, so I don't know if it'd even work out between us.

[Fireguy17]

So be a friend, some of the best relationships start out that way.
And, does it really matter who texts who first?

[7barbieringz]

Yes it does matter, because it's about effort. Friend or relationship, if someone isn't showing effort then I won't either, no one should.

[OlderAndWiser]

He just needs to get comfortable with the idea of spending time with someone younger. Ask him to go out to lunch with you one work day, or out for a drink after work on Friday.

[7barbieringz]

You think? I don't want to feel desperate constantly texting and making the first move

[OlderAndWiser]

Jut ask him casually, around 11:30, "Hey, you want go out and get lunch with me today?" However, he might feel weird about co-workers seeing you leave and return together. So, you could say, "Hey, I'm gonna stop at _____ after work and have a drink at happy hour. Want to join me?" This you need to ask in advance because he may need to make some arrangements for his child.

[7barbieringz]

Well we work overnight 6pm to 6am, not really a job we can go get lunch. More like shove your food down in 20mins lol

I asked him about rescheduling the date and he said he doesn't have a babysitter for awhile and we never talked about it again

[OlderAndWiser]

You could ask him directly whether the problem is a babysitter or is he really just uncomfortable with the idea of dating you. The direct approach may work, if you can do that.

[spartan55]

Is texting THAT important to you? Ugh...

[_Just_A_girl_]

Stop texting yes.

[7barbieringz]

Ok, kinda sad but I have dignity lol