Is it a bad sign if he talks a lot about his female friends?

[Anonymous]

I just started dating a guy who is really nice. However, he has a lot of close female friends and talks quite a lot about them. A few days ago he told me about a girl he met the night before when he was clubbing with his friends, he met the other girl there. He told me that he met her and asked if I know her because apparently she goes to the same school as me. It makes me feel uneasy that he‘s talking so much about different girls and meeting them. Would you care about this? Am I overreacting?

[quaranta]

You still need to build trust over time, with him. I am dating a guy from some month and he has mostly close female friends, so if he mentions friends it's usually females, but it's clear how he perceives them as friends only and they have "friendship boundaries", for example they don't go too personal about some details. Every week he spends some hours playing some online games with another female friend, in call, and to me that is really fine. Today he is going to a birthday night party of a woman, where there are mostly females. And to me that is fine too (also because I have only male friends so I wouldn't be in the position to complain).
I'm not saying this is the norm of what you should "tolerate", but I'm saying that it's possible to trust someone even in so "risky" conditions IF the guy provides enough elements to trust him, and that is the point: make sure he perceives them as friends-only or "sisters" and could never imagine dating them (so that they can't turn in potential dates in case they confess their feelings for him, for example), make sure they are reasonably long-term friendships and that they don't go too personal or have too deep moments together. And perhaps, get to know them you too! I think once you know them they will look less scary to you.
What you should get worried about is completely new female friends he rushes the bond with, with enthusiasm, because that's suspicious and he can't even know yet if he will perceive her forever as a "friend-only", or if he will start feeling something more.
You should also monitor situations of female friends crushing on him and acting weird to get his attention. If any, make sure he would turn them down soon.

[Asker]

thank you so much for your helpful reply! So do you think the girl that he told me about who he met at the club would be someone I should worry about?

It bothers me a little that he spends a lot of time with them alone, especially since he told me his ex didn‘t want him to hang out with them so much. So he said that in his next relationship he wants to make more time for his friends. I agree that friendships are important but I feel like maybe his ex girlfriend had a reason to dislike him spending time with these girls… what do you think about this?

[quaranta]

Is this girl at the club a completely new friend and he is rushing contacts with her? Like, wants to meet her more, they text more and more often etc?

[Asker]

it is a completely new friend and I don‘t know if they are in contact. He just told me he met her there and she‘s a friend of one of his friends

[quaranta]

Well if that stays like that, I think there is nothing to worry about, yet. However, if you end up in a relationship for longer, you will be entitled to tell him what makes you uncomfortable, if something makes sense to suggest he might be rushing interest towards another girl, even if he calls her only a "friend".

[Nomina]

I do think it's overreacting. You just started dating. I think it would be good to continue getting to know him and especially his friendship style. He could just be very friendly without there being a romantic or sexual interest in those other girls.

[Guy13]

Very bad sign. Flirty and unstable if he does not realize it. 🚩🚩🚩🚩

[Asker]

but what if he‘s not flirting with them

[Guy13]

On his mind means Stupid, Lustful, or trying to make you jealous. You show me a positive? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩