Assuming women aim for marriage and men aim for sex, what do guys think of the fact that guys usually get what they want disproportionally sooner?

[Bethany22]

Like, do guys ever stop and realize how much easier it is for them to reach their goal in relation to women than it is for women to reach their goal with men? I mean, after three dates, the women have to start worrying about whether the guy will leave her if she doesn't have sex with him, whereas realistically speaking, men probably assume they don't have to worry about having to propose to women until at least six months after dating. And even then, if a woman so much as accidentally says 'I think you're the one' after the third date, the guy gets to ghost her (especially since if he's already got what HE wanted out of the dates). Do guys secretly snicker about this injustice?

[DaveJord]

If we wanted to live in your hypothetical world then you'd be correct. But honestly just to get sex fo not understand what a guys got to put up with sooooo much bullshit. Marriage yeah, been there done that for 22 YEARS!!!

I think you underestimate how much bullshit a guy has to take, endure or live through with even the best of women. And even so we still want to do it for a good women... but its bullshit most of the time, but we, as men. are still all for it. Because society dictates that to because whole and compete man we need a women, honestly we really want one. Like seriously it like constantly like, thank you ma'am and can I have another? While ypu attack my masculinity and I endure the pushiment, all I ask is when you're don't that you say thank you.

In today's world women can be all about being women and thats cool and acceptable. Black people can be all about being black and thats acceptable. Mexican, Indians, Asians and anything else, and thats acceptable. Boys can pretend to be girls, and girls can pretend to be Boys, and thats acceptable.

But be a white man, that acts like a man, and wants to be a real man and be respected as a man, treated as a man, and thats not acceptable. Its not tolerated, and if you get upset about it, you just get canceled out. Acussed of being sexist, racist. And women that supposed to be there to hold up, abandon you and claim they are victims.

All can say honestly, cause this post is so insulting is FUCK YOU!!!

Take this post for example, do not realize how FUCKING insulting it is. How FUCKING clueless you sound?

[DaveJord]

I ain't going lie it triggered something. This post is insulting to men. I can't finger it exactly. But its wrong and insulting. And absolutely not correct or right.

[fembotnpc777]

Women give up a lot of themselves to sleep with a man. Sex is not a mutual or almost mutual exchange between a man and a woman.

[DaveJord]

@fembotnpc777 That's your opinion

[fembotnpc777]

Yeah, I have, presumably far more experience being a woman than you. Even if you go out on the weekends with the boys in wigs and heels, you're way behind me in clocked hours. Now, go ahead and invent a bunch of reasons to back up your purely hypothetical vision of a sexual utopia, since that's what you do so well. I really wish you all the best and hope you find a good holodeck to make your vision of reality come true.

[mickmrly]

@fembotnpc777 So you are saying that women don't enjoy the sex right away or at all? Don't women have needs too?

[DaveJord]

@fembotnpc777 I have a vast amount of experience being a man, with women who want to pretend it's all about them all the time, and give men no credit. Womrn who pretend it's harder to be a woman... well yoy want to say I know nothing about being a woman then your right, congrats! 👏 👏 👏 But I know an ass ton about being with women, as a man, and hiw twisted the bullshits By your logic you know nothing about being a man, right?

So why you pretending you do?

See this is where society failed you, there's this thing called the internet... well it fucks with people's minds. They lost perspective, because they let idiots pumping garbage into your head all day. People with beliefs and ideas that should have no voice in your life. But you let them in and now you're fucking mind fucked, becsuse you actually believe the shit your saying, and can't separate the reality from the mind fuck you're in. See if was harder for women, then you'd have no responsibility at all, because it's all the man's fault, right?

Like women don't like sex to, and its all just for the man... yeah right! 😆 🤣 😂

Take your man slaying garbage and peddle it somewhere else.

[fembotnpc777]

The best you're capable of is binary thinking. Many women love sex, but women are monogamous. You want the female brain to work exactly like your brain. You insist that this must be true. It's simply not.

[fembotnpc777]

Essentially, you're talking out of your ass and projecting your limited life experiences and perspective onto what is 100% unknown to you. You're telling everyone else how life works when you've been trapped in a failed marriage for several decades, and really should be learning instead of teaching.

[DaveJord]

@fembotnpc777 Nope I do not insist a women has think like a man. But she has account for the fact a man is only a man, and she has to take responsibility for herself. Her wants, and needs and quit blaming men for her, short comings and insecurities. Don't project that suit on me, that's all you ma'am.

But if you what a huge and some compassion, emotional support I am here for you, but I ain't buying what you're selling.

[fembotnpc777]

Yes, but your understanding of how a woman reasons is essentially male, or how you would reason. It's the way you view sex and so on, projected onto a female figure: with a touch of brattiness added, for the behaviors you can't explain. But you know, for you right now, that is just what you need to believe about women. You're trying to explain to yourself what happened to you. You need to believe your own BS. And you're going to keep replying, posting redundant myopic mytakes, etc, until you've worked it out of your system, so you know, knock yourself out, baby.

[DaveJord]

@fembotnpc777 Isn't the pot calling kettle black

[DaveJord]

You're missing the point I ain't denying men are men, and women are women.

I just say you as women have not right or reasonable expectation that man should act or be anything other than he is. I the same is true for women.

It's not men don't aim for marriage, we just got to ensure it's with right women. Sure there's a sexual component to it... but women git prove herself worth of marriage just as much as a man does.

Part of that is accepting your man for who and what he is, and him doing the same for you. So this post is bullshit. Because relationships take a shit ton of work, and if you are going to take your ball home and cry about it the second you get your feelings hurt, and then blame men or try to make men responsible for it... then you ain't a real women.

[fembotnpc777]

Hold up, let me check...
No.
But that was a good effort.

[DaveJord]

@fembotnpc777 lol... lost cause then. Good luck finding a real man. You should stick to the simp types. He'll cry on your shoulder for you.

[fembotnpc777]

I didn't make any point other than the fact that your projections about the female mind are errant. Other than that, aside from whatever you're reading into, I have not argued anything.

It's probably better if you speak to the male mind, which you are experienced with, rather than try to imagine how women must think, which you aren't really capable of doing, because you're not a woman.

[fembotnpc777]

Yeah, you're such a real man, Dave.

[DaveJord]

@fembotnpc777 thank you

[DaveJord]

I am a real man. And that's not going to change, and a real women would understand that. And love me for being me, as much as I would her for being her. I would ask or expect her to change a thing. But life brings change by itself, and either we change with it together... or I guess you don't.

[DaveJord]

*Would not

[DaveJord]

You wouldn't find value in a dog, for being a dig, thinking like a dog or acting like a dog. A cat is a cat. Rabbit is a rabbit, fish is a fish.

A man is a man and women is a women. The burdens they carry or put on themselves is for them decide and deal with. But never expect people to change their very nature to accommodate for your weakness.

[fembotnpc777]

Well hey, good to know you'd sleep with you.

[ManOnFire]

A man can ditch a woman he's dating even after he finally does get the sex. But I get your point, and I do like the way you put this question into perspective. However, I definitely don't think men snicker about it because 95% of men are too frustrated and preoccupied with the idea that "women can get laid easier" - but, 95% of women enjoy that men are upset about it, and like that men envy women. In fact they want men to. It's a power dynamic for women. They never want guys to be so focused on sex, but then at the same time they want men to be jealous about not being able to have it often. So it causes conflict.

But apart from that, we still have to ask: when women get what they want (the ring, the marriage) are they finally happy? Because we still see that the largest numbers of breakups and divorces are from women. They got what they wanted but still aren't content.

[ManOnFire]

Thanks, Bethany.

[DaveJord]

Women never seem to get what they want even after the have it. The circle just keeps turning, with out end.

[ManOnFire]

@DaveJord Hence, discontent. Which I think comes from their own inner emptiness, and also expectations. When you're never really happy you always want new things or new mates, because you think all the external things will do the trick. But they never will until you look internally.

[DaveJord]

Said like a brother from a different mother! 👍 👍 👍

[Juliette1600]

As a woman… I love sex. so if I happened to be single, and not looking, I wouldn’t be looking for a serious relationship.

I don’t understand why some people think women are only looking for marriage… and love and they never think or want only sex ( and vice versa for men when it comes to relationship and love ). The real problem is people who mention they are looking for a serious relationship … you guys vibe really well …. And until they have sex with you … they just stop talking to you or ghost you after that. That’s not honest, that’s not right.

[Lifelive96]

‘’ I don’t understand why some people think women are only looking for marriage… and love and they never think or want only sex ( and vice versa for men when it comes to relationship and love )’’ I can not agree more. 👍🏻

[archnightt]

Exactly! The last girl I was seeing wanted more sex than I ever did, turns out she was also banging another dude on and off before we met and wanted to have a threesome, I wasn't interested and got out of it. Safe to say she wasn't aiming for marriage...

[jennifer_bloom]

All the guys say woman should not chase men and a girl that sleeps with a guy on the third date out of a fear of being rejected is chasing after him. I know a couple that dated for 6 years without sex and have been married for over 16 years now with at least 2 kids. Guys are not so easy to lose if they like you. You could reject him for 2 years and he would still chase you.

[Jamie05rhs]

You were doing so well up until that last sentence. 😅🤦

[FilmGuy93]

Eh. Both genders have their difficulties. Men are mostly annoyed by the fact that women make it extremely hard for most men to get laid. Women are mad that the men that can get laid often use them. It’s a sad state affairs

[TheSpaceGnome]

"Assuming women aim for marriage and men aim for sex"

Well first off, thats wrong. Most men want marriage.

"I mean, after three dates, the women have to start worrying about whether the guy will leave her if she doesn't have sex with him"

Also wrong, if she wants sex that early when dating, she's an std ridden slut, not with a 10 foot pole would I touch that kind of woman.

"men probably assume they don't have to worry about having to propose to women until at least six months after dating."

Wrong again, try 3 years.

"And even then, if a woman so much as accidentally says 'I think you're the one' after the third date, the guy gets to ghost her (especially since if he's already got what HE wanted out of the dates).

No, ghosting her is because holy fuck how can anyone know that after 3 dates, SLOW DOWN. If you want a good man, date like its the 90s in a child friendly sitcom, nice gys don't want skanks, we want a wife.

What you are doing, is you are consistantly only picking players, while ignoring all the decent men.

[TheSpaceGnome]

So like, generations of tv shows, movies, parental advice, etc usually made the player types out to be obvious scum, why do so many women not only still go after them, but treat them as if they are the only men on earth?

[tzdc21]

You don't really think it's easy for guys to get sex, do you? I mean only a fragment of men are sexually active, meaning they are having sex with multiple women every week, or month. And it's only the top tier guys. I get what you're saying about how it's hard for a woman to get married, but I think you are in the same boat as a lot of women in terms not understanding how hard it is for a guy to get sex. Think about it, if it were not hard for guys to get sex, the porn industry would not be thriving. We would not have night clubs thriving to the level they are, we would not have as many girls on only fans doing stripper stuff, and there would not be as many articles and videos online teaching guys how to get laid. Here's the thing, women are the gatekeepers to sex, men are the gatekeepers to marriage and relationships. In order to get sex, we guys have to get the woman's approval. In order to get marriage, the woman has to get the man's approval (unless she decides to marry a woman or SHE proposes to him).

[mickmrly]

I do find it strange how women will give men sex before he has properly committed, but then again six months or so is a long time to wait before anything happens at all. I think it is a bit unfair that women are left waiting for what they want, with some men not bothering to marry them or commit at all.

I think that todays stressful world where both partners usually have to work just to survive is helping to perpetuate this situation, with the ability to properly plan out a future being severely curtailed by things changing so quickly and prices flying everywhere. It is a lot easier to just have a bit of fun then it is to say that no matter what I will stick with you in the future to go through the good and bad times together.

I think the modern world has made marriage a lot harder then it was before, when it was shaped usually by one persons career or by living on a farm. Trying to balance two people's separate careers while also having trying to make time for each other is not an easy task.

Also I think as a compensation for having the lady giving the guy what he wants sooner, he should at least try and learn how to have her enjoy it too. Reading around, it seems that women are not very well treated in that regard. That way the wait for commitment won't seem as long hopefully.

[inhua]

he's probably not the guy for you if he's willing to leave so quickly. then again this all depends on the consistency of the rules you've placed on every other man you've been with.

if you've given sex up before to a guy who you've simply hooked up before with in the past, why would the current guy have to take you on 3 dates to get what the previous got for free? why should he feel obliged to follow these rules you've set for him that weren't set for the previous guy?

granted though, your rules are your rules and men can either choose to play or not to play by them. with-holding sex until marriage is something a lot virgin women do to help them weed out the loyal and disloyal men because only the loyal men would be the ones who are left standing at the end.

[FunnyGiy]

If a guy leaves her for not having sex. Then he was using her. There is men who want marriage.

If a woman gives in and consents or even initiates sex. She’s just as guilty as he is. That’s what she will attract.

Same for me. Sometimes I wonder. Will she think I’m a loser if I don’t have sex? Whatever. Doesn’t matter. Because she won’t be worth it at that point.

If someone is easy to sleep with. They will have a good chance of using you and cheating.

[DoctorSex]

I think it wasn't always this way. But the sexual revolution hijacked the women's rights movement and here we all are now lol living in a world where female empowerment has now been pegged as synonymous with sexual liberation. 🤷

This was never the original motive. This is the legacy of feminism that not enough women are having conversations about. They did this to the market, this wasn't a demand that men wanted, but many men have adapted. Men like myself have all the women available to me, whilst another fella my age is still a virgin. It's abhorrent.

I, as a man who women tend to aim for, spend my days shutting down a lot of sexual advances by women as I'm not interested in anything but marriage. So it isn't always so cut and dry.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[HighValue]

That isn't the case though for many people. Many guys only want a relationship. It is NOT the same guys that do casual sex.

The problem is that some women think they can have casual sex and then expect the relationship oriented guys to still want them.

Many guys that have casual sex know they can still get a woman for a relationship because more women are turned off by inexperienced guys than are turned off by guys with a past of casual sex.

My solution is that people that want a long term exclusive relationship should NEVER participate in casual sex. Their past will always matter, and women that want a relationship also need to stop giving a chance to guys with a promiscuous/casual sex past too. That is the main reason they get cheated on. They purposely go for people with a past of casual sex.

[crossdressingrihno]

Women aim for only about 20% of men. That is so disproportionate that those 20% of men basically have a waiting list of women waiting for them. The good guys are probably going to get married or be in a long-term relationship much earlier than the rest of the 20%. This means before your mid-20s all the good guys you’re attracted to are now taken. So then you’re just left with the bad ones and the ones who you’re not attracted to. And then because you’re not totally aware of what predicament you put yourself into you go getting passed around by the bad ones because they are all that’s left aside from the ones who aren’t attractive.


So go complain all you want because those people dug The holes themselves.

[Haha456]

i never pursue guys who tell me they're not sure if they want marriage or if they do not get married. Because eventually what will happen is that you will find yourself doing wifely duties for him only for the price of a girlfriend. No matter how wifely you like to be, he will never make you his wife.

All the taken guys who hit on me or chased me, were not married men but all guys with girlfriends.

Marriage is the ultimate sign of commitment. Dont take his bullshit excuses

[Smoothing]

The problem is, most modern women don't know the difference between the right attention from a man, versus the wrong attention from a man. Because women love attention.

So your question really comes from a false premise. And that premise is that men only want sex. That is the most unfair premise to start from. Men who are bad boys only want sex. Good men want a commitment.

This is the reason why women with traditional values find it easy to get married because they are trained to sport a good man who is traditional. Versus the modern day woman who wants to compete with men.

[DJB72]

To coin a phrase, why buy the cow when you're getting the milk free?

Women bought the lie that they could get everything men had (men didn't have most of it) by opening their legs.

Instead of getting everything they literally and figuratively got fucked over.

Men bought the lie that sex was "free". It isn't. It carries consequences and responsibilities.

Instead of a "free ride" they got the same as the women.

And the overall loser is Western Society

[YourFavoriteFriend]

Another certified double standards and delusion moment.

Men are created to want someone to truly love and make a family with. We just develop to not care and only seek sex after we see the high standards girls have. The last girl I wanted to date was below average in looks, had a chubby body and in general was worse than me analogically. Yet she though I wasn't enough and now she found a guy who cheated on her (and she's stupid enough to not care) and that was abusing her ex's 🤡

Another reason guys only want sex is because most of you girls have nothing else to offer. You are boring and expect us to organize and do everything. That's annoying and no guys want to do that.

You'll rarely find a guy that only wants to have sex but when it comes to most girls, he'll only want to have sex with them. But there will be girls he wants to have more with. Just fix your personality if you fall in the first category.

[Jackblue]

Well I am not sure it is marriage women want so much as romantic dinners and affection. Both genders imagine that once they bind the other one to them through marriage they won't have to make as much effort as the other person is trapped. Men think they can get sex without wooing their wives, women think that their husbands will continue to woo them without expecting as much sex. Both learn that that is not the case. Honestly I think that the world would be a better place if marriage licenses had to be renewed once a year or were automatically annulled. Then spouses would have to put in more effort.

[Alex8736]

If life was black and white vs gray or if it was a 50/50 2 way street with people who say what they mean and mean what they say without a hidden agenda, Humans would not have a worry in the world unless they come down with a serious life threatening illness, and when it comes down to the marriage part "through sickness and health" would the spouse husband/wife be at their bedside or run for the hills? In my experience I have witnessed a lot where its not 100% men looking for just sex, and women looking or just marriage where a late friend of mine who was perfectly healthy was forced to get the covid-19 vaccine to remain in the military ended up suffering a major stroke due to the vaccine 10 days after receiving it and when his wife was notified she then filed for separation and started dating someone else immediately after an alledged happy marriage for 16 years almost as if she was taking out the weekly trash.

[Twalli]

Not really. I make my intentions clear. I'm not proposing until we've been dating for 3 years, and we are living together. I will wait up to 2 years for sex. We will not have sex earlier than 3 months in. I am aiming for marriage if I am dating you, but since we aren't having kids, we don't need to go fast.

[lightbulb27]

It's a good point I suspect we generally don't think from the others viewpoint. I think it creates a lot more stress on women thinking how to manage the relationship going forward. No wonder the guys start getting stressed:)

that said, it is a generalization... around 30, the women are really aggressive and either want sex or use it as part of the process to get what she seeks, including security of commitment.

Probably not easy being a woman.

[Anonymous]

If you are aiming for marriage all you have to do is say it since day one : Listen dear Michel , I want to get married my goal is to date for 6 months and then decide if we are getting married. If Michael says no well then it’s a no. If Michel says listen babe sweet Jessica all I want is sex or friends with benefits than you take it or leave it.
It’s all in your hands don’t be stupid

[Jamie05rhs]

MHO.

[FireGodGoesSeeknFire]

It's not clear that this is true. Have to remember that guys includes not only the guys you're dating but the guys you would't consider dating.

The guys you go out with a likely getting what they want before you but the guys in the group will have to wait even longer.

[MrCommodore]

Honestly guys have the same end goal as women, most of us want to meet the woman of our dreams and eventually have kids.

Men just seem have a much stronger desire for sex than women (or less restraint), and are more open to having sex with women we don't view as relationship material until we find the one.