I met my old crush after 3 years. I think I still feel something for him. Why did he act the way he did?

[Anonymous]

I went to give an exam today and my old crush was there. I didn't talk to him before the exam because I didn't wanna get distracted. After the exam, we were in the elevator and there were a lot many people. As 'luck' would have it, he was standing right beside me. I said, 'Uh hi, long time no see.' And he looked very surprised that I even talked to him. Then he said, 'Hi.' Then I said, 'Oh and happy birthday. I know it's on 3rd December but still.' He looked pretty embarrassed, smiled a bit and looked down. He finally said, 'Thank you.' Did it feel like I was still so hung up on him that I remember his birthday? Was it okay to say that in an elevator full of people? I had written about him on my Quora account and somebody told me he read them. I wrote some mean stuff about him too. Like he was mean and fake and all. That means he also knows I liked him once. I don't know if I still have feelings for him or not but I just want us to get along, to be friends. No other boy has had that much of an impact on me than him.

[Anonymous]

Without you initiating conversation, would he have? Even standing right by each other? You see effort and relationships of any sort cannot be one-sided. Just because you’re hung up on him and want some form of connection doesn’t mean he wants the same thing, and to me his willingness to not engage with you on his own accord says a lot. I’m not even sure why you have romantic interest anyway after saying that he’s mean and whatnot, it makes it seem like you enjoy being mistreated. In any case, I’d say to get over him. No man has had such an impact on you as he has YET, doesn’t mean it won’t happen, especially with your age range.

[Asker]

I live in a country where dating isn't an option at my age when people are so busy preparing for very difficult college entrance exams. I would probably ask him out but I need to do well in my exams.

[Opinion Owner]

What country is that? Regardless, why would you want a guy who is mean to you rather than kinder?

[Asker]

I liked him in the first place because he was kind. And that country is India

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah but the “first place” was a long time ago. Since then he’s been mean enough for you to write that Quora about him, and he may not have even spoken to you recently if you didn’t say something first. Even if you could date him right now, why would you want a guy like that?

[Asker]

I really don't know. It's complicated. And I don't want to date him. I just mostly think about him as an old close friend. The reason I would ever like to confess my feelings is just to get a sense of closure. Or else I would keep thinking about the what ifs.

[Opinion Owner]

I guess in my mind I assumed you possibly wanted to date since you’ve said you aren’t sure if you have feeling for him still or not. I’m not sure what sort of close friend he could be to bring such a bad reaction out, or what kind of closure he could give. But all I can really suggest is don’t go out of your way to talk or create some sort of bond. He is just a person, not someone who has made strides to be really good to you or has had a positive impact on your life — just an impact in general, and a bad one at that. He didn’t engage with you until you took the first steps, and it’s not even like he tried to use that as an opportunity to talk further, which he totally could’ve done if he wanted to.

[boobliker]

he was young and the young don't know what they may be missing out on!

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[boobliker]

you don't always know what has passed you by LIKE you may have passed the man in your life nad missed him I meet my SO 4 times but she never look at me until one of our friends said I was a nice boy even though he dress the way he dose

[Avicenna]

He was just surprised and caught off guard, that’s all

[Guy13]

At least he remembered your birthday

[es20490446e]

Old crush, new opportunity.

[In_Trance]

He's not interested