Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
I had a past with a boy I really liked he was my first love throughout my teenage years. Back then, for personal reasons, I wasn’t dating anyone at all and didn’t really care about dating in general. But we always had this kind of “eye-contact game” going on. He was, by the way, a bit of a player he would get involved with girls and then leave them, telling them he didn’t want a relationship, things like that.
Sometimes, though, it seemed to me that he had a crush on me maybe he was too shy to say it, or maybe he saw me as being more reserved. Anyway, at graduation he actually waited for me outside the school, but in the end neither of us dared to clarify what had been going on between us for all those years, so it just remained unresolved.
About a year later, I found out that my best friend who was more experienced than me secretly got together with him behind my back. I don’t know for how long, but they were caught out on a date. That completely destroyed our friendship. Her excuse was basically: “If he wanted you, he would’ve shown it to you.” And before I could even fully process what had happened, I was bullied and even threatened by my own group of friends, which left me completely alone for a long time. I was deeply hurt by this whole story.
As for the guy, honestly, I don’t really know what his deal was. Two years later, he would deliberately pass by me in the street, puffing up his chest and walking in this odd way, and if I looked at him, he’d seem shocked and then smile at the ground. But in reality nothing ever came of it, and in the end I don’t know what he really wanted from me.
I’d really like to hear your opinion both about him and about my best friend.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Doesn't sound like anything but a staring contest with the guy... yawn... he doesn't have any 'deal'.
You owe your friend an apology. So she isn't supposed to date a guy that you like even though you won't date? That's the dumbest thing I've heard today. But it's early.
No, on the contrary — I actually tried to talk it over with her, but she didn’t want to tell me anything. From her behaviour, though, I realised that what she really wanted was to see if she had hurt me. She wanted to know that I still liked the guy, and she felt good about going out with him. She didn’t want to have a real conversation she just wanted to watch me break down so she could bully me together with the others.
That's a whole bunch of mental gymnastics 🤸♂️ there, all ignoring the fact that you weren't going to do anything about it anyway. You admitted you weren't dating anyway for whatever reason. You don't get dibs on some dude who may or may not even like you... that's flat out crazy.
Since you believe I was the one in the wrong, how do you explain her behaviour not telling me anything and just laughing? How do you explain the fact that she bullied me when I didn’t even know what had happened? I understand your reasoning, but she could have at least told me. That would have shown that she respected our friendship. That’s what some of my other friends did in similar situations, and they managed to keep their friendships. In this case, though, it was completely organised I even went to see a psychologist to talk about it while all she really wanted was to abuse me emotionally. To this day, I never found out the reason she did this to me. Some acquaintances saw her outside with the guy, and that’s how we connected the dots and realised that she really did betray me.
Okay, sorry that happened, but she really didn't have to tell you about it. You don't get to 'reserve' guys you like, and I'm not sure why you don't understand that.
If this guy is such a player he would have made a run at you if he was interested. That's getting ignored too.
I don’t understand it, because I would never do something like that. Imagine I’m your friend, and you’re talking with me and the group about your crush, while I’ve already gotten together with him. How nice would that be? How nice would it be for me to throw in your face, “when someone wants you, they’ll show it,” and then laugh at your reaction while you don’t know anything and you’re just confused? To me, that’s pure mockery honestly, it’s like they kept me around just to laugh at me.
I once heard a psychologist say that when you put your ego above everything else, above other people’s feelings, then you don’t really love them. And I’m nobody’s fool. If they want to laugh, they can go to a comedy show not play with me. I never did anything to deserve that.
he was just a narcissist, from what I can tell he liked the attention.
Wow, okay. I don't think you understand what a narcissist is, but that's not important.
So, if I understand this right this guy was off limits to all of your friends even though you were going to do nothing about it. (you keep curiously ignoring that very important component). That's not how the world works at all.
So what if the guy asked out your friend. Is she supposed to say 'hold on, I have to check with my friend'?
Are you really 25-29?
So then, what is narcissism really, since I don’t quite understand it myself? You know what my real mistake was? Believing in true friendship. I learned my lesson I realised it simply doesn’t exist, it’s all self-interest.
That I will agree with you on.
Here is the narcissist's prayer:
That didn't happen, and if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, it's not a big deal. And if it was
, it's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.
es sure that is the prayer but basically narcissist is a person who puts their ego above everything else, without being spiritually cultivated and with absolutely no empathy. People who constantly seek attention just to inflate their own ego, without caring about the feelings of others because they just want to feel important, definitely show narcissistic traits. What did I ever do to him to deserve that? He could have just said “I’m not interested,” or not given me any attention or hope from the start. Instead, he took advantage of the fact that I was innocent and inexperienced, he strung me along for years just to feel important, and in the end he basically turned around and told me it was my fault for thinking he liked me “just because I look at you doesn’t mean I’m into you.” It was my fault basically and he was the victim and narcissist are always the victim
Good lord...🙄 Why does he need to tell you he isn't interested? Did you TELL him you were interested? If you did I missed it. You have no one to blame but yourself here. He is not narcissist because he isn't into you...😂
He didn't 'string you along' either... you are delusional.
Do you know how long this was going on? Not just a week or two… but about seven years. Believe me, he knew exactly what he was doing, and he already had plenty of experience. My mistake was waiting for him to take some initiative and not setting boundaries, because at the time, for personal reasons, I couldn’t really date. But let’s not kid ourselves if he had a more ethical character, he would have ignored me after a certain point. Instead, he took advantage of the lack of boundaries and did whatever he wanted. Whenever he realised I was starting to ignore him, he would find some way to grab my attention, and whenever he wanted someone else, he would just drop me. And I call him a narcissist because he saw women as objects to him, they had no feelings. And I’m not saying this just about my case, but also about other girls who had complaints about him.
So what was that then, if it wasn’t stringing along? You’re 53 years old. Come on…
You are making so many assumptions here. You act like he deliberately had this big plan to mess with you for several years which is crazy. You never did anything to show you liked him. Staring doesn't count.
You sound very naive, young and inexperienced which is why I asked about your age.
Setting boundaries with what? You act like you had this big thing with this guy. Did you ever even talk to him?
No, that's not stringing along. Not even close. You want to bring my age into this? Really? Lol...😂 Ok
Of course I sound naive young and inexperienced, because back then that’s exactly what I was naive young and inexperienced. Obviously, I see and handle things differently now than I did back then.
then tell me what exactly is stringing along
Did you ever even talk to him?
yes and he "froze"
You just aren't getting it.
im bored
The mind readers are all working with other customers. Would you like to leave a callback number?
You don’t have to answer… If my question doesn’t appeal to you, just ignore it
Much like you, your best friend found him attractive. That's why she went on a date with him.