Can anyone help me with my situation-ship?

[Anonymous]

I've been casually seeing this guy for about a month now. I've been drawn to him at least 2 months before, been almost magnetically attracted to him. We're hooking up casually cause he's in an open relationship. So i respect his boundaries and understand that. I'm just confused cause of how he behaves towards me sometimes, like this one time he called he over to his place and we hadn't seen each other in like 2 weeks and he greets me with a kiss. (very unlike him tbh) then the last time i was with him, he left a few hickies on my neck and he even wanted to cuddle for a bit, which is very unlike him as well. He's a very passionate man, knows how to please me and cares about my needs. i feel like im developing feelings for him but not to the extent that i am uncontrolled at least. but i wonder how he feels towards me. cause we're not too emotionally involved. i wonder if i should keep seeing him, cause honestly its very hard for me to do it.

[quaranta]

Probably it's just passion. Most of us are entirely capable to have romance and affection with someone we don't know anything about, that means we are able to feel intense care about people we don't have any element to bond with (no long term shared experiences, no personal intimacy etc). We are capable of rebuilding missing elements in our mind in the way we prefer. That's why people get crushes over people they didn't even talk with yet, and that's why the initial period of any relationship is so great: it's incomplete, and we put the missing pieces by ourselves, unconsciously, in the way we hope they are.
So, as well as casual sex is possible, casual romance and affection are too. It's just lust. If he behaves like that and then doesn't follow up with texting, conversations about each other's life, trying to get more from this bond, then yeah, just lust, and he is willing to keep it like that.
Open relationship doesn't mean polyamorous, it means they both agreed on being the "main ones" of each other, allowing "no strings attached" side partners. So, you are by default a "second one", and shouldn't develop exclusive feelings for him. To balance, it, you should have another main person instead, in an open relationship, so this guy is your "second one" too (that is anyway very unlikely to find).
Check also about lies: I found that some men, especially married, lie about having an open relationship, because they want to cheat on their partner freely without being stopped by the other girls, not wanting to participate in that because it's morally wrong. Real open relationships are not so common. Make sure his partner knows perfectly about where he is and with who, to do what. She doesn't need to know you in person, but she should at least be aware that in that moment he is meeting another girl, maybe knowing her age and other metadata superficially. Any single bit that is not consensual with her is cheating. So if you find out he is cheating, then you are developing feelings for a cheater, who will anyway cheat on you too if you get in a relationship with him.
I advise against continuing. You got a hookup, because you wanted a hookup. You can get other hookups for sure, with others. If you got the hookup because you wanted more, then that's the typical self-destroying technique girls keep using but that in fact just traps and punish themselves. Be always direct about what you want, don't compromise on "hopes he could do X".

[Asker]

He does check up every now and then, he mostly asks me questions about myself and i try not to pry not out of disinterest but because i think its just unnecessary if its something casual. And yes i have been seeing other people but not quite hitting it as well as i would like to with them as i do with this guy. I'll have to keep an open mind about this and leave this in the past for the best.
I'm not even sure about the "open relationship" part because I don't know the girlfriend since we have no mutual friends. I'll keep my distance and be more firm with this entire thing. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to this!

[Lis-the-librarian]

Where do you see it going longterm?
Will he break up with his current and start dating one of his flings?
Will you all start living together?

Its probably not going to go anywhere and you only lowered your own value in the eyes of your future partners, who are looking for something more serious.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t mind being someone’s backup sure keep seeing him. But if you have respect for yourself then I’d say stop. Don’t think you’re going to be the one to take her place, that things would change to where he would be monogamous w just you. Not going to happen. You need to move on, find someone who cares for you the way you want to be loved. It’s interesting how women say he’s never like that w other women lol heard that a million times. He’s like that cause he needs to do what he has to do to keep you at his door step waiting for you to open that door to come in when he needs you sexually.

[FilmGuy93]

He doesn't feel anything for you... he's in an open relationship (have you verified that with her, by the way?), and he's not the kind of guy who treats his sexual partners with vague hostility. That's not romance, it's just not being an asshole.

[Asker]

i haven't verified with her. he's very guarded, but too many coincidences with regards to both our mental stability especially around patience.

[FilmGuy93]

Yeah, if I were you, I would just operate on the assumption that you're only ever going to be a side piece to him.

[Guy13]

Physical relations is emotionally involved. He is although you may not be. We don’t talk and text.

[Asker]

We dont text unless its on the days we plans to meet. Which i am okay with i dont need to be talking to him all the time and when we're together i can understand that his thoughts and concentrations are with me.
how do i know whether his physical have other intentions or if he is developing feelings?

[Guy13]

I don’t know as I’m not there. I have to see you two together

[DermalPunch]

No I won't help you with it. You clearly want a committed relationship. Why do you want to be in a situation where that isn't going to happen at all?

[Avicenna]

If you aren’t getting what you want, you should leave

[jimmy2]

Honey if he in a open realtionships there really nonthing for you there

[Deed112ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤl]

I got turned on reading this. 😐

My 10 inch cock literally is throbbing rn.

[HugeDikEng]

Just give him a blow job

[Anonymous]

I don't know.