I am a recovering compulsive gambler and I made good friends with a man 20 years older than myself who helped me kick the habit for good (I’m been clean for almost a year). We both attend anon meetings. He is very intelligent, well educated, pragmatic and has a good sense of humor. He often takes on leadership roles in anon groups
But the sad truth is his situation is much more dire than mine. We are both deep in debt because our bad choices but he doesn’t make that much money because his reputation was severely damaged from his addiction. He works a job he can barely tolerate. His girlfriend recently dumped him (twice divorced). His kids are angry at him. He has no financial assets and nothing saved for retirement. He has a record thanks to bad decisions he made gambling (never been in trouble otherwise). Despite having a masters degree his employment options are very limited
I will most likely be out of debt in 3-4 years. For him it will 10 years. At that point he will be 70. I am still relatively young in comparison and my peak earning years are still ahead of me.
From an outside perspective it’s easy to point the finger at him and blame him for his own predicament. In fact I would of likely did just that 10 years ago before I succumbed to addiction of gambling. It’s not just a moral decision but actual brain chemical problem and is very serious. It’s not too different than being an alcoholic. If I didn’t quit I would of eventually lost my own house, job and maybe my life.
Anyway I was really depressed this year but I am making gains on my recovery. Financial situation isn’t great but I’ve made progress and getting my act together.
Anyway despite my friend’s situation he was always optimistic. However lately he’s shown a very dark side. He’s openly alluding to suicide. I want to help but I don’t know how. It’s got me very worried. Given my situation isn’t as bad in comparison (and I’m younger) I don’t know how to tell him to cheer up.
Most Helpful Opinions