He said I love you and now is distant?

[Anonymous]

So we were seeing each other for about 4-5 months now before that we were talking to each other for a year or so.

So he has been very loving and last week he was drunk and called me and while talking he said I love you towards the end of the call and I was shocked.

from that day onwards he has been very distant and not talking to me properly, I confronted him he said he doesn’t remember saying or even calling me which I think is a lie as he has been distant. He said even if he said it it would have been in a diff way.

he took it back , now I’m confused and hurt. He never said it before it was the first time in 1.5 years and now he is not ready to face it.

[DoctorSex]

Because you didn't reciprocate. What did you expect? He made a huge leap of courage by showing you his cards, but you kept yours still close to your chest..

If after a year, you aren't sure if you love a guy, don't give him hope. It's the hope that kills as they say lol do the compassionate thing and let him find someone that will bring him happiness. That's what true love for your fellow human is all about.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

[Asker]

Well I was shocked and didn’t know what to do and who said I didn’t. I just needed a moment and then I wrote it back in the text.

[DoctorSex]

Ok, but you missed that part in the description... Coupled with the fact that you said you were shocked and didn't know what to do, tells me that either you aren't in touch with your feelings and just said it because he did. Or you really don't see him that way.
What I'm saying is, you don't sound like you love the dude, and if I can sense this from not knowing you across the internet. I can only imagine what he feels. This is not an attack on you my dear. I wish you all the best in life. I'm giving you sincere feedback on how you've come across and what I've sensed. Equally you can throw what I've said away in the bin.

A wise man once said, "The same walls we build to keep out pain and disappointment, also keep out joy and love",

Let down your walls, stretch out the drawbridge and be open to both love and disappointment and face them both with courage.

God bless.

[Asker]

I think you’re right.
And I really appreciate you giving me this wise advice.
I will follow.
Its just tou don’t know the whole situation, If I didn’t love him I would not be waiting around for him when he won’t meet me for months.

And it’s not necessary you say it just because he did. Everyone should say when they really feel like it.
And that’s why I’ve tried to talk to him ki I do feel the same way but till then he just won’t accept it.

[DoctorSex]

I understand.
I've gotten into the habit of giving every potential relationship partner a personality test. MBTI is a good choice.
Nelson Mandela's said, "Speak to a man in a language he understands and it goes to his head, but speak to him in his language and it goes to his heart"
We could all do better in speaking the others love language for better communication. Above all it saves time and miscommunication, often times there's more simple things we could do to get through to someone but we're stuck speaking our own love language.

Im quite annoying in the sense that I won't allow anyone I want, and I believe likes me, to get away lol I'll wait for you to leave for work and walk you to the busstop or train station. I'll be there when you finish work. We'll walk in silence if needs be. I'll make friends with your mum and dad. I'm going to make myself present in your life and I'm going to pay attention to you. You won't have a choice but to love me or I'm getting a restraining order lol either or.

Good luck

[Asker]

I understand what you’re saying.
I will try to work on this.
Thank you and wish you all the best in life. 😌

[Carolus]

Don’t force it, if he hasn’t come out sober and professed his love for you after all this time, it means he’s undecided or you aren’t the one, there are many relationships that are stuck at a “situationship” state so, it’s up to you to decide whether you wanna continue waiting or ship out.

[Asker]

Yes, he won’t say it sober and said he doesn’t remember anything which hurts even more.
I wanted to tell him I feel the same way but he won’t accept it.
I would’ve waited but he is distant and won’t even accept that he is.

[Asker]

It’s not something you take back, he should have at least accepted it and given me time.

[Carolus]

You are waiting or looking for what he can’t give in a situationship.

[Anonymous]

It means he doesn't love you that much.