I found out that the guy I've been talking is also talking to other girls. Do you think I should stop talking to him?

[gayesblog]

Or should I just go on and try? We're not in the date stage yet. After all, at this stage, I could talk to other men too.

[BlueScorpio]

I personally don't like that type of dating. I like to exclusively talk/get to know someone 1 on 1 without trying to juggle other people. If we don't hit it off then we can go our separate ways, but it really sucks when you're in the talking phase and you began to like and connect with this person only to find out your just another rotation in their circle and they're still window shopping/looking for better options. Feels like you're time is wasted and you've been let on if you end up liking that person.

I feel like this type dating should be called adhd dating. Not having the patience to get know someone, how can you when you're seeing/talking to 10 different people at once and consuming all these different energies and personalities ant getting them mixed up?

[stargazeraug1989]

You are wise.

[RavVid]

It is getting more ambiguous than real life used to be. Say it was at work and there was a guy you liked and he would talk to other girls as well as yourself. You would quickly be able to assess if he was cracking onto them as well as yourself. Probably if he was showing sexual intent towards other girls you would back away. The reverse for a guy. On the other hand it is quite plausible to talk to a girl without sexual intent because you like them in a friend way. Online all that non verbal information is not available.

I think the answer is you should establish what your own boundaries are.

If you think it's OK for you to talk to other men then it is OK for him to talk to other girls. If you think it isn't OK for you to do that than it isn't going to be satisfactory to you if he does. What is OK to you isn't going to hurt you is the main point.

[OlderAndWiser]

If a guy treated you as being exclusive when you haven't even had a first date, most women who discovered that would think that the guy was desperate, needy, clingy, and not a man worth having. Looking for a partner - at this stage of the game is a competition to get the attention of a potential partner. When I hear women who want to back out at this point, I always wonder if they are simply afraid of being in the competition, afraid of being rejected.

And that fear of rejection is what most guys deal wth EVERY time they are approaching a new woman.

[Paulalove98]

If you're not officially in a relationship it's not cheating but if you guys are together together and he's STILL doing that, then I'd cut him off but people talk everyday, and you're not tied down or in a committed relationship till you both say so and agree upon that.

[coachTanthony]

Always assume people are talking to other people and you should as well until you find a great connection.

[ZenJen444]

100% agree with you. I don't understand why men get a bad reputation for dating around. I believe that's a smart move to date until you meet who is compatible to you. I dont understand why a lot of women make this huge assumption that a man belongs to them or owes them anything when they're just "talking " as she claims. Unless he placed a ring it's none of her business who he's seeing

[coachTanthony]

@ZenJen444 Thanks !

[Asad1ONE1]

@ZenJen444 you don't understand because that isn't even true. Most likely the opposite lol.

[ZenJen444]

@asad1one1 you sound slow and please learn to write a proper sentence using the correct dialogue. I don't know maybe it's your broken English.

[Asad1ONE1]

@ZenJen444 both men and women get a bad rep for dating around.

[Asad1ONE1]

@ZenJen444 and you sound mad 😡? Wtf?

[Static_In_The_Attic]

If you snooze you loose & if you like him tell him before you are yesterdays news.

[bamesjond0069]

Men almost HAVE to do this because honestly women are very sketchy. Like I've had women profess their love and tell me I'm perfect and try and see me every single day for a week and then all of a sudden... I find out they are married, or they ghost, or whatever... then forget all the ones that are more slow and just decide they don't want anything serious and it's just sex... I mean as a man if you don't keep a few in the lineup you will generally have a poor dating life.

Where I won't date a woman who talks to other men. Like the day I go on a date with you or fuck you, if you see someone after poof I'm gone. This is because women don't need a lineup. They can get a date instantly any time. So if she's playing the field she's a ho and I'm not interested.

[Anonymous]

@Midgetmcwidget just blocked me because I guess she doesn’t like people disagreeing with her, so I’ll put my ADDITIONAL comments intended for her below…

The facts of this matter are these:
1. The guy the question asker is talking to is also talking to other girls. (Nothing is stated about his “intentions.”)
2. They’re not a couple yet.
3. They haven’t even dated yet.
*** 4. The question-asker admits “at this stage, I could talk to other men too.”

So — based on #4 — if it’s ok for the question-asker to talk with other guys, then why can’t he talk with other girls too? (They both should be able to.)

[Midgetmcwidget]

You haven't been blocked... My point is that you don't like to see other points of view that don't correlate with your own. if a guy likes a girl and was serious then his head wouldn't of been turned by a second or third. Also it's always clear the language used in a conversation what the underlying tone is. He sounds like a floozy who isn't serious. Nothing wrong with that if everyone is on the same page but clearly not

[Opinion Owner]

@Midgetmcwidget
Sorry that I was mistaken about you blocking me…
I guess I hit your “Message” button on your profile and the red notice came up (because you don’t allow pms from people you’re not following), and that made me think you blocked me.

But again you’re imagining things which the question-asker didn’t say.

You now think “He sounds like a floozy”?
WOW.

We need to stop going round & round about this. Bye.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Midgetmcwidget How is he going to be serious if the relationship isn't serious? As a matter of fact, there's literally NO relationship at this point!

[CrazyGirl2]

I think you are insane to even be asking us what you should do in this situation! You’ve NEVER even been on a single date with the poor guy, and you are asking strangers if you should demand a commitment from a guy you have never been on a date with. Do you even see how insane that is? You are upset because a man, you’ve never even been on a single date with is talking with other women! Now that you read it, do you see how crazy it is?

[KansasX]

He can talk to whoever he wants, and he can sleep with whoever he wants as well. He does not belong to you!

I have talked with many guys knowing they were having sex with some of my girlfriends, but that never caused an issue between any of us. IT'S CALLED LIFE!

[Pohjolan]

Wut? Are people this detached after Corona?

All that means is that the guy is not a super introverted hermit isolating himself from the rest of society.

Besides why would you stop talking to him anyway? Its not like you have a restricted daily word limit.

[Ms_Facesitter]

People being single can see as many people as they want to see, we all have our own way of finding a relationship. I would commit to seeing just one person at a time. A friend is comfortable dating multiple guys at a time until she found the right one. Your guy might be the same, or maybe he's not looking for anything, and it's just 'talking'.

[hugo135]

There's nothing wrong with talking to more than one person as long as you haven't lead the other person to believe otherwise. Talking is about getting a feel of the person, to decide if you want to date or not. So talking to more than one person is actually not just fine but recommended, so you don't put all your eggs in one basket.

[TopTier]

Men have to talk to multiple women because its a numbers game. Unfortunately that habit carries over once we get into a relationship. Thats just the way it is.

If you talk to multiple men as a woman, thats a red flag. You have no need to.

[Anonymous]

"not in the date stage yet" you have every right to your feelings, but he's not your boyfriend so he can talk to whoever he wants, and the same for you. if you want to make this "dating" serious with him, you have to have a talk.

[ZenJen444]

He's not obligated to you, he doesn't owe you anything and it's really none of your business who he is talking to. He's not married to you. You chose not to date around. He's smart enough to know you're not working for him so he's dating around until he sees who is compatible to him.

[Anonymous]

If you believe he’s worth it then yes you have to fight for what you want. I mean to a point. But you have to understand that you’re competing w other women for someone who is probably a good man. We shouldn’t all assume that we just deserve something cause we’re special. You have to compete everyday even if you are in a relationship to maintain that relationship. He hasn’t committed himself to you so you have no real reason to be upset.

[Ehjoh1]

You should talk to him if you want to and he doesn't cross your boundaries. If you're more into monogamy and don't want to rush yourself into multiple guys at the same time then you should stop talking to him because your values on dating differ too much. It's better to talk to just one guy you like instead of all this hypergamist slut bullshit.

[Adaeva]

Do him a favor and stop talking to him. Of course, if you are not even dating, he should keep his options open and so should you. However, your controlling attitude make you bad news.

[Marica70]

How long have you all been talking? Dating? Are you actually invested in this relationship? We woman also need friends who happen to be men , who will be in our lives for years to come… you will be surprised when you are my age how many of my dear friends where once guys who I used to speak to and date…

[Guy13]

That's probably never going to stop and i would not expect him too. Why not speak with him... How will you ever know if there is a connection? Wasted opportunities stay upon the mind...

[Jamie05rhs]

You just said you're not in the dating stage yet. So why should he commit when you aren't committed to him? My advice is to get a little bit more aggressive and pin him down and find out the truth of where you stand.

[CrazyGirl2]

What do you mean “where they stand” they’ve never even been on a date, and she’s asking for a commitment? She’s 26 and she thinks this poor guy should be committed to a woman he’s never even been on a single date with? I mean what would you do if, on a FIRST date, the woman you were out with started asking you where you guys stand and would you commit to her right now? You would think she’s crazy, and SHE was further along in the relationship than these two are… They have NEVER been on a single date! This woman is crazy to even be asking questions about commitment!

[Jamie05rhs]

@CrazyGirl2 I appreciate your comment. But I would never, ever be offended by a girl asking me where we stand. I think it's a perfectly reasonable question, and I am more than happy to answer it! :)

[CrazyGirl2]

Wait, even on a FIRST date, or with a woman you’ve never met?

[Jamie05rhs]

@CrazyGirl2 Either way! I don't mind. Lol. I will just answer the question honestly according to my feelings at that point in time.

[Jamie05rhs]

I mean, look- ESPN Radio makes predictions about who is going to win the Super Bowl as early as July. And nobody gets offended about that.

[CrazyGirl2]

I don’t know what to say about the ESPN, I have watched the super bowl I just don’t like foootball.

[CrazyGirl2]

Oh Jamie that’s the only way TOO answer these questions. I really hope you didn't think I was dissing your answer, or especially you? Obviously we’re not going to think the same way, we’re two different people, but I don’t want you to think the only reason I answered you was to crap on your feelings or beliefs. I was just curious as to why you do believe that. Don’t get me wrong I think it’s pretty admirable that you feel like that, it was just surprising that’s all. 😘🥰

[Jamie05rhs]

@CrazyGirl2 Oh, no; I absolutely wasn't offended at all. Don't worry!

And thank you! :)

[Jamie05rhs]

by the way, I know you're not into football that much; but did you understand the analogy?
It's basically just saying that it's okay to talk about the future, and it's okay to talk about hypotheticals and possibilities. Even if they're very far away.

[CrazyGirl2]

Well yes, I mean it’s not too hard to figure out the analogy from just the words “prediction” and “June”. But I would say I don’t agree with the analogy, ESPN is able to use statistics and historical data to predict possible outcomes of future games. I mean if Team-A has never won against Team-B, on away games when its cold, and next week they’re playing Team-B in an away-game where a cold front is predicted, it doesn’t seem difficult to predict that Team-B will likely win. Matters of the heart, well they are just different in my opinion.

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol.
Hmm. Good point. It is true that sports teams have more data to work with.
However, there is relationship data that has been collected as well. It may not be for those two individuals specifically, but data certainly exists for other individuals that share similar traits. So that can be extrapolated somewhat. There are certain "rules" that apply across the board, statistically (even if they don't apply in every single case. Because there are always exceptions.)
@CrazyGirl2

[CrazyGirl2]

Thanks hun.

[Jamie05rhs]

You're welcome!

[Summeroflove]

If neither one of you are in a committed relationship I would make a move on him before it’s too late

[Lis-the-librarian]

Dating around isn't all that great in my opinion.
Building deeper connections with multiple people.

Many people view it as okay, so its common.

Personally i wouldn't keep dating somebody like that.