i initiated ending things in person with someone i was sexually involved with, i had told him i was fine with still keeping it casual just not solely about hooking up. he asked for time to think but we never discussed it again. we never met up again after that. he eventually started to take days to respond so i knew he lost interest. in person he admitted to and apologized for leading me on, but then said he never wanted something sexual. i was confused bc i basically said the same thing just two months ago. later i asked if we could have a final discussion for clarification/ closure and so that i could get some things off my chest. he initially agreed but then ghosted. i then impulsively sent multiple texts asking to talk, and eventually apologized for blowing up his phone. in my final message i unloaded my emotions, told him how i felt like i gave him the idea that i only wanted sex from him when that wasn’t true at all, i liked him and how that talk was important to me bc i grew to care about him and moving on w/out closure has been hard. i also said i was going to stop reaching out and respect his space bc i realized i overdid it with all the texts. he responded 3 days later, it was the first i heard from him in 3 weeks. he apologized for not responding and gave the same excuse (he would go silent in the past and then say its due to stress). he said he felt bad cause he didn’t want me to think he was ghosting (he’s done it once in the summer) and that i don’t deserve that and that’s he’s just not good at communicating (he’s said this b4 too). i was fully prepared to move on after my final message, and now i feel like i’m back at square one. i stupidly responded hrs later, we didn’t address anything i had expressed and instead exchanged a couple sentences of small talk. its been 3 days and he’s ignoring me again. he made it clear in person it was over and his recent actions showed he wants nothing to do with me. so why reach out now and why not just stay gone?
Why won’t he just be direct?
i made it clear i wasn’t on the same page anymore. i asked if he was interested in dating. his response was that he likes spending time with me and needed to think about it. we stopped having sex but continued to talk everyday. i brought up to him how not discussing it again is making me feel strung along, but he shut that down and said he was happy to continue things with me. then that’s when he began to pull away and pop back in. that went on for almost a month until i called it quits
i’m well aware i allowed it go on for too long. i take full responsibility for my role. what i really don’t understand is why he looked me in the eyes and told me he never wanted a sexual relationship. he said casual sex isn’t for him, so what did he want? that’s why i wanted clarity bc this has all been so confusing and complicated for no reason. i made my intentions very clear, and was hoping he would too