Was my reaction cold or rude?

[Anonymous]

So, long story short…a guy friend of mine (crush of mine), is going through a tough time with his sister’s medical situation. She’s been at the hospital for several days and she’s fully sedated. He called me and he started crying out of the nowhere…. this was completely different for me and I didn’t know how to process it because during tough times I try to break everything down and find solutions. Anyways, I let him cry but I told him he has to remain strong not only for himself but his sister. That it’s important for him to be clear minded more than ever. Now I’m wondering if my reaction was a bit too cold? After our call I sent him a message too.

[TheNameDoesntMatter]

Ignore my age but I had some fair share of suffering after my grandmas death I was told the same to stay strong for my family. Just let him know he can bottle it up and its okay to cry as SlothySlob stated it isn't mean but a man's thinking can believe you are telling for him to man up. The message wasn't cold at all just helpful words

[Asker]

Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it.

[betoxic4me]

Your reaction isn't cold or rude, it's the truth. Even if the reaction was cold, the text message made up for it. Listening to someone cry can be a massive deal and i believe you handled it well.

[SlothySlob]

Are you still interested in him, now that you've... heard him this vulnerable?
If were you cold or not, you can argue for both. You've pretty much told him to man up, which, like I said, can be seen as rude or not.

[Asker]

Of course I’m still interested. However, growing up I never had the opportunity to cry out my feelings. I’ve always had to regroup myself think out clearly to find solutions. That’s what I want for him…I want him to look at the situation for what it is and be there for his sister without letting emotions get to him. I want him to balance everything out and not let himself get defeated.

[SlothySlob]

In broader strokes, "Be a man, become the pillar of strength."
Let me rephrase it like this. "Become that which is traditionally thought of as a man, so suppress your emotions, hide them away, don't cry and carry the burden that others place on you."

I'm not saying that your words are unjust or dismissive, I'm just being the devils advocate.
He came to you, his weakness laid bare. He needed support and he probably needed to vent.

[Asker]

If you were me, what would you have done?

[SlothySlob]

Hard to say. I never had ovaries... well technically I did for a brief moment.
Ultimately I'd be harder on him than you, but I'd remind him that I'm willing to listen to his problems and be there for him, if he needs me to be there for him.
If possible I'd rather see him in person and talk like that. I've seen what hugs can do to people who are suffering like that. Allowing him to cry out his emotions, vent and the likes is good, but in the end I'd tell him to stop. Remind him that he needs to be a man / adult and do the hard things, not only for his sister but for himself too. Sinning is easy, but being virtuous is hard.

[Asker]

Couldn’t agree more. Love your response 👏🏻

[villainfantasy]

why don't you ask him. Tell him how you feel.