My coworker said his mom died. Was he lying or joking? If not how should I act around him now?

[EricaNunez]

He said it after I asked if he’s gonna buy his mom anything for Valentine’s Day. He said she’s dead. I was like wow are you joking and he said he wouldn’t joke about that. I was honestly shocked. I mean if my mom died I wouldn’t really just tell a coworker that though. So that’s why I assumed he was joking and maybe that he was seeking a reaction. But now I feel so bad for the man. It explains why he has a sadness in his eyes all the time. He’s in another department and I don’t know him really by the way.

[ArrowheadSW]

Did he give any indication of how long ago his mom passed on? Just wondering if he is still in the grieving process, or if it was a long time ago.

[EricaNunez]

No. He didn’t.

[EricaNunez]

I’m still shocked he told me that.

[TallAnon]

Nah, we're pretty straightforward about those things. He didn't mean anything with it. She's dead and he's bad at small talk.

[EricaNunez]

I’m so sorry

[EricaNunez]

I feel like knowing this means I have an obligation to him to heal him

[TallAnon]

Pretty sure he's already forgot about you asking, don't worry about it.

[TallAnon]

Nope, neither could you if you tried.

[EricaNunez]

He has a sadness in his eyes all the time. I am still shocked he told me that though.

[WaterIsland]

That would be an incredibly messed up joke to make…

[EricaNunez]

The thing is I would never tell my coworkers that something traumatizing happened to me. People at work are so fucking annoying and fake and at times just evil. I keep serious stuff to myself naturally cause it’s dangerous to be vulnerable to that extent at work. But he just told me that and I barely know the guy.

[WaterIsland]

Fair. Tho while that might be your perspective and feelings, it might not be his.

[EricaNunez]

I’m honestly a little shocked. I don’t even know how to act or respond when I pass him in the hallway next time. He’s in another department and we don’t really know each other much nor really talk. He talks to my coworker though. But I know this incredibly personal thing about him and im like wow wtf do I do with this information? Maybe im overreacting cause he’s my crush but dang

[WaterIsland]

I would just say that you didn’t mean to bring up a sensitive subject, and you’re sorry. Then tell him you’re there for him if he wants to talk or if there is anything you can do for him.

Just showing you care and are there for him, is all you can really do. But just be sure not to go too far and don’t have expectations. He might not be ready or want to talk about it. But just showing you care and making yourself available is all you can really do.

[EricaNunez]

I’m terrible with communication and emotions lol. Hopefully he telepathically picks up that I’m there if he needs me lol

[WaterIsland]

No one can read minds lol. But all you can do is do the best you can.

[EricaNunez]

Crap I’m SOL. Well, I prayed for him.

[Shamalien]

It’s best not to assume someone is joking when they say something of such gravity…

Just be tender to him

[EricaNunez]

He always has a sadness in his eyes. I guess now I know why. I’m just kinda shocked. That he lost his mom. And that he just told me who is practically a stranger about it.

[Shamalien]

Traumatized people do this

[EricaNunez]

I was homeless and my mom is a narcissist and I left years ago and still managed to keep all this a secret from people in real life

[Shamalien]

Different people handle things differently. Damn I’m sorry to hear that though…you’ve had a tough life.

[EricaNunez]

Thanks. I guess your right he might be still traumatized.

[Anonymous]

Say to him "There's no dead mom in T-E-A-M". If he gets really mad then he was probably telling the truth.

[EricaNunez]

Dude. Even I feel bad reading your joke and my mom isn’t dead.

[Opinion Owner]

True, but you'd have your answer. 😆😆😆

[EricaNunez]

No he’s my crush

[TrillXHippy]

Why would he lie about his mom dying? That’s not something that I think is funny nor is it a joke