Older male coworker asked me out months ago and I said maybe. But he never tries to have normal convos with me. Why?

[Naturaad]

if he talks to me it’s usually either hitting on me or just not saying much of anything. Is that supposed to make me want to date him?

I have heard him talk normally with everyone else. So I know he’s capable.

[MrOracle]

It's because he's trying to make sure you understood that he's not interested in being "just friends". You gave him a non-committal answer, and when girls do that, they often try to turn it into a "friendship". He's not looking for that - he's looking for a romantic relationship or nothing.

In other words, he's being passive aggressive because you were non-committal. He'd rather be told "no" than be told "maybe", which feels like a manipulation to him.

[Heknowsililejim]

Lol I have Asperger’s potentially. He hit on me a few times then asked me out. I don’t feel comfortable going on dates with strangers. I could be raped or killed like come on. Plus it’s awkward.

[MrOracle]

I can understand that. IF you are interested in him, propose a lunch date in a public place, and then when you are on that date, explain what Aspergers is and that you struggle more than the average person to form connections, and that if he decides he's still interested, that he would need to move more slowly with you - and it still might not work out. Tell him it would need to be day dates for a while. Then, he can decide if he wants to move forward.

[Heknowsililejim]

I don’t chase men but if he wants to pursue me I can do that thank you

[WaterIsland]

I know it wouldn’t for me if roles were reversed. In a healthy long term relationship there has to be some level of substance instead of just hitting on each other.


Kinda sounds like what you each want isn’t aligned.

[Naturaad]

I know I’m very quiet and introverted but it’s odd to me to avoid having a normal combo with me but almost everyone else is fair game.

[WaterIsland]

I’m not sure it’s odd. He could just be immature. Or only looking for hookups. There are definitely explanations to justify his behavior.

[Naturaad]

But it’s not like he’s looking to hook up with the other women or men he’s having comvos with. That’s why it’s weird to hit on me but not talk
About anything else

[WaterIsland]

I’m saying if he is only hitting on you, he might only be trying to hook up with you. I don’t know for sure tho. It’s just one possibility.

People are confusing tho. You have to follow your gut. Based on what you’ve said it sounds like something feels off to you in this situation. So I’d trust that instinct if I were you.

[Naturaad]

Thanks. Yep it feels off and as I said before his behavior doesn’t make me want to date him so he’s really silly.

[WaterIsland]

Yep exactly. So go with that. I agree that behavior isn’t very mature.

[Vegasrunner]

@WaterIsland He's actually being mature, the older a man gets the more exprience he has and the less time he wants to play games. Sounds like he took a shot and moved on, he may not see any value in her if she's not interested in him.

[spartan55]

Why th would you answer maybe?

[Anonymous]

Give him blowjob

[Babyititj]

How did you go from saying ‘I love you baby marry me’ to ‘suck my cock’?

[Opinion Owner]

I say
"Let's have sex we can fall in love later." Good idea?