How do I tell the difference between a man who likes or loves me and a man who’s creepy or stalky?

[Anonymous]

I have Asperger’s. There’s this guy I was friends with for years who rejected me for intimacy. He said I was a gold digger. I said I loved him but our values were too different, as he values private schooling and money and I don’t. I suggested we forget the whole thing happened and just be friends. He then kept appearing whenever I went out with friends. Or just went out. He drove by my suburb and showed up there and sent me heaps of Facebook pictures of him kissing women who looked like me and I love you messages. All his family were looking me up on Facebook. I was terrified and ended up having a nervous breakdown. My therapist recently said that this is normal behaviour for a man who you say that to. Even if you indicate a change of mind. Most men interested in you would do this. She said because of my Asperger’s, I’m confused and because of my history of sexual assault, I’m hyper vigilant. Is this true? My mum disagrees, but I always try to take an honest look at myself. If it is normal, should I give him a shot?

Updates

+1 y

I’m genuinely confused. First I thought he was creepy. Then my therapist said he was just persistent and he’s still chasing me and I don’t know what he wants.

[Fanfare690]

If something if physically making you uncomfortable it's your bodies response to danger.

Sometime in your life you've experienced this before where you weren't able to face head on and solve. Your parents failed to teach you to set boundaries.

This man clearly doesn't have any. And if he can't respect your boundaries he doesn't deserve to taste anything regarding you.

If he so quote "wants you" let the man show you that he respects you: someone whose patient and kind, etc.

Like this guy is persistent but he's making you fucking uncomfortable!! He needs to slow the fuck down.

Maybe masturbate more because his hormones are through the fucking rough.

It's not fucking fair to be forced or made to feel small because a man likes you AND on top of things you mist fucking date him all because he likes you.

It's great he's persistent and respects you and is gentle and caring

What's not is forceful, scary, intimidating, harsh... unkind... manipulating... emotional immaturity.

Dont date this person just yet. He has a lot of growing to do.

He doesn't respect your feelings. At least right now he doesn't.

he's not even all that self aware to see how you're even fucking struggling!!!

How is that gonna work in a relationship?

This guy is selfish. Dont do it. At least not yet. I don't know I would personally move on and grow yourself and heal. You want someone who matches you: patient & kind. You dont deserve rash forceful energy in your life.

I hope this help. Take care

[Shamalien]

Sent you pictures of him kissing women that looked like you? What? Like real women or shopped pics? How is this guy finding all these women that look like you 😂

[ShiftingMonke]

Whoa. Yeah. That's not normal. That's absolutely stalker behavior. Block him and his family.

[Asker]

What does he want?

[ShiftingMonke]

You, obviously. But he's not taking 'no' for an answer.

[Randalama]

If he's physically attractive then it's persistence. If he's ugly then he's a stalker. You must make this determination, he has no clue.

[Fanfare690]

This dude needs to respect her space