I lost interest in a guy because he stopped texting as much. This is my best friend. Is this fair of me?

[Anonymous]

So, kind of a weird back story. Been in love with my guy friend for 3 years. We basically professed our love for each other, but he moved and we were unable to be with each other. We each moved on and had other relationships etc.

Recently, we started talking again. I’ve now visited him twice in 2 months. We were both on the same page, he said we obviously liked each other etc. and should figure things out. At the time, I expressed I liked him and we should try again. He agreed. He would constantly check on me, send me memes, call me, send me videos etc and FaceTime. We were intimate before he moved and started being intimate again. Everything was fine.

However, since I’ve returned from seeing him again the second time (were on opposite regions, north and south), he’s just been super weird. Only been responding to texts once every like 24-48 hours. Just kind of laughs or blows things off. Doesn’t respond properly to anything I say. Lucky if I hear from him. He’s now stopped sending “goodnight“ and just doesn’t even respond anymore at night. It’s been about 2 weeks of this. For example, he’s going to a concert tonight, one we both loved. He texted me this morning about it, then when I asked for details just blew me off. Haven’t heard anything in 12 hours

He also called me his friend twice on the trip, which was weird. In front of people too. I brought up a relationship before the trip and he agreed, but didn’t speak about it once while I visited. I was waiting till the time was right but he never said anything either.

I’m just distraught bc how could this guy go from basically plans to marry me and being my best friend, to acting weird within a week? It makes me cry, as I’ve known him for years and poured my heart out so I feel stupid. he’s never acted like this so I feel like a dumbass. I seriously would have married this guy.

what’s goin on? thanks in advance guys

[teamvic]

Hmmm it is suspicious 🤔🤔. Could be many things, could be he started talking to someone he met or someone her knew, as in his ex. Could be he just lost interest in you like that but to lose feelings out of no where is a bit odd🤔 so I'm not sure if it's that. Has he ever been a dry texter or has he usually always been the talkative, person you liked?

Based off of my professional unlicensed advice I would have to say if I had to give a reason I'd say it could be another girl, as in an ex. Because to go from full interest to barely any, out of no where doesn't make sense. Unless something happened that you're choosing to exclude because you don't think it's a big deal or you don't think you're in the wrong. Either it's another girl or something happened between you guys that you're not mentioning that fucked it allll up. I mean or it could be he's just going through a really tough time but I'm not sure if I'd say it was that

[teamvic]

Oh but to answer your question, yeah I'd say it's fair. And what you should do I suggest just let him take the wheel and show how he really feels about you. Text him as much as he texts you, if he never puts in the effort then he don't care. Simple as that and you should move on. If he really liked you talking to you and being with you should be one of his top priorities. But what do I know

[Asker]

Holy shit, this was absolutely SO helpful. Thank you for taking the time to read all this, bc I literally couldn’t sleep last night and everything I wrote was genuine. And honesty no, I haven’t done anything wrong or excluded anything. He’s always been talkative in texts just like me and NEVER dry! Like ever ever. He averages 8 hours between texts sometimes.

And guess what? Bingo, He and his ex broke up about 4 months ago. They dated for almost 2 years. I think she took it harsh. He’s never spoken about her once. It’s honestly possible

[Asker]

Thank you again. You have no idea! And no, u know a lot haha

And thank you for the advice, with him taking the wheel. It sucks to have to drop him, and it sucks to have to match his texting style (that’s what I’ve been doing the last few days) it’s killing me haha. But I guess you’re right that I feel like I should be a priority. Thanks for the advice man some of the best I’ve ever gotten

Guess I’ll hold off bringing up a relationship again uggh. could try, but he’s acting so weird I just don’t even wanna deal. Maybe in the future if he’s normal again…

[teamvic]

Haha you're welcome! I always read long typed out messages cause I feel like people put in so much effort and genuinely want help so I do my best to help them haha. If you need more help or just Wanna vent I got you there too🤔😌

See I thought so, that 4 months is pretty recent, he might not moved on just yet or even she might be still tryna get with him.

Yeah. I get it I've been is somewhat of a similar situation where you have to stop talking to them for whatever reason but eventually you just stop caring for that hope of getting together🤔. It's also hard to act like you don't care that they take forever to reply but guess what, there ain't shiitt we can do about it😦😂. Oh whale. And yeah who knows maybe one day you guys do get together but with that being said I wouldn't hold onto that and prevent yourself from moving on.

[Anonymous]

Texting is a dead end.

[Asker]

Thanks!!