Men, have you ever told a woman you didn’t deserve her?

[Anonymous]

I always hear men telling women they don’t deserve them. Personally I think it’s a cop out, but I’d like to hear from the men.

[MrOracle]

It's not something I have ever said, but usually when guys say that, it's because they don't feel like they are able to meet the expectations that he knows that she will have of him. Maybe he doesn't have enough free time to spend with her. Maybe he's broke and can't take her on dates. Or maybe he's emotionally unavailable due to some trauma going on.

He's acknowledging his shortcomings and letting you go so that he's not wasting your time or causing you resentment. It's not that he wants to lose you, it's that it's more important not to hurt you than to be selfish and try to keep you when he knows he won't be good for you

[Asker]

So would it be selfish for the woman to try to stay with him?

[MrOracle]

No, it would be selfish of him to pretend that his shortcomings didn't exist, or that her complaints about his shortcomings were unreasonable. If she chooses to stay with him, that's being selfless and sacrificing on her part - however, she also needs to understand that she can't be upset or resentful of him, because he's warned her what she's getting into with him if she stays. She can choose to leave, or she can choose to stay, but either choice is going to have consequences, and she needs to be prepared to accept them.

Women SAY they want honesty, but when men give them honesty, MOST (not all!) women don't want to hear it, or want to twist the words or the meaning into something they prefer to hear instead. This man is telling her the TRUTH, and giving her an opportunity to walk away with no anger - he's being as honorable as he can be. But most women want to BLAME men when they do this, or shame them. It's why many men feel they can't ever win, no matter what they do, with women.

[Asker]

But what if her decision is to stay, but his decision is to go?

[MrOracle]

Then you have to accept that. You can't force someone to stay in a relationship that they want to leave, regardless of the reason.

[VikingWarLord]

It's what beta insecure dudes say to women.

They really do not think they deserve her because they've put women on a pedestal in their minds.

I've never met one bytch I'd say I didn't deserve. I always believe I deserve MULTIPLE women at one time.

They need to work on themselves before getting into a relationship (let alone marriage) any gawdam way!

[Asker]

So as women, how should they respond when being told this? Stick around or walk away?

[VikingWarLord]

Do his azz a favor and not only walk away but tell him to work on his confidence, go to the gym and most importantly FOCUS ON MAKING MONEY

[AimeeKyle]

No. No better way of calling yourself a loser and giving an example of your lack of personal confidence.
The individuals that generally do this are either attempting to play mind games or truly lack self worth/confidence.

[In_Trance]

never have, never will.

[Anonymous]

No. But I've said the opposite. 😆😆😆

[Anonymous]

No, I'm not insecure enough to do that.

[Aairs]

I never cheated