Mixed signals from a guy?

[Anonymous]

I honestly don’t know how to read this guy I’m interested in. We take a class together in college and he waits for me after class and walks back with me while talking to me and looks in my eyes while smiling. He even paid me a few compliments today saying I get along with everyone (we have the same mutual friends) and that he knows I’ll do fine on a presentation I had today (I was telling him how nervous I am). But if I meet him outside of classes, he just smiles and waves at me without making a real effort to talk to me. Even yesterday when I was going with our friends to a park, I invited him and he declined with no explanation. I know mixed signals aren’t great and if he wanted to he would, but he is on the shy side and is slightly introverted. I just can’t understand why he would make an effort to wait for me and walk with me after class but can’t be consistent with effort. I thought for sure he was at the very least interested the first 2 weeks but now I’m completely unsure. What do you think?

[Summeroflove]

Some people send mixed signals because they’re not sure themselves. Sometimes I just smile or say hi to someone because maybe I’m in a hurry or really have nothing to talk about. If you wanna talk. Just go talk.

I think you should express your feelings and ask him on a date. As long as he was cool about it. Look I know it’s always a question why someone declined. But if someone says no. There’s some reason or another he didn’t want to.

It just doesn’t matter why someone says no. As long as they’re cool just don’t take it personal there could be many reasons.

If you’re really curious just respectfully ask him why he didn’t want to go.

[Adam1978]

What signals are you giving him? Those friends are they guys? If you want to select a guy he needs to be raised above other men. Ie be your first pick. Don't just focus on his signals. Keep in mind that he is observing you and what you do especially regarding his competition, ie other men matters.

[Asker]

Fair point, most of my friends right now happen to be guys and it wasn’t intentional. Those are just the people I happened to enjoy the company of, in a platonic way of course. We live in the same complex so I often see him in the common area and I’ll approach him when he’s alone. Everything is fine when it’s just us talking but I guess he tends to shut down when we’re in a group. Today, after class I was walking with one of my guy friends but he rushed out of the class to come walk with me which was nice. The other men I’m friends with are people he also talks to as well so I’m hoping he’s not taking it the wrong way. out of curiosity, would a girl with a lot of guy friends be a red flag to you? I’m also friends with the girls as well but my main friends right now are guys

[Adam1978]

Yes a girl who keeps a gang of guy friends is certainly a bad sign. Your best guy friend should be your boyfriend and you shouldn't really have any interest in platonic guy friends, because you know they want more. So make your pick and stick to it. Your other guy friends should be his friends. Who knows their place.

[Selliebeanz]

I agree that any lack of clarity isn’t a good omen. He might like you but not enough to go straight forward with you. When a guy is interested you will know otherwise would you want to be with someone who makes you pick your head when you’re trying to figure them out? I’d say fall back and see what happens.

[sage2021]

It seems he does enjoy spending time with you when it's just the two of you. But the minute you invite him to be around other people and you, he says no. Maybe he doesn't do well around people. You said he's introverted so being around you and other people too would be taking him out of his comfort zone.

[Asker]

Today he asked me about the plans I invited him to yesterday, asked me if I had fun which is what led him to say that I get along with everyone which I’d like to assume was a compliment. You’re right, maybe I should try to get to know him better one on one. I was just taken a back yesterday because he immediately declined with little to no hesitation

[FilmGuy93]

Whenever someone gives you mixed signals, your best bet is to assume the answer is "no." Even if the answer is "yes," you don't need that lack of clarity coming back to bite you in the ass.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think if a guy really likes you he won’t give you any mixed signals, he will come and tell you straight he likes you and will make sure to prove with his actions.

If you have to look for signals, read astrology, do tarot and so on to find out what he thinks- then he is not that into you.

[strateguy632]

exactly, he is shy, if you like him lead, like invite him for coffee together. he was showing interest the only way he could if not shy the same behavior would mean friend zone.

[boggboss]

That if he is shy and introverted u will have to do the leg room to see if he is intrested

[mb120101]

^I agree. Break the touch barrier also if you haven't its subconscious that you’re comfortable with him

[kloveskash]

Maybe try being a little flirty and see how he reacts he might just be friendly but who knows