How do I get guys online and in life to comprehend I am happily taken? Even if complicated I know my feelings won't change. How can I address this?

[WriterDreams]

Why are men like buses?

I waited three decades for one to show up and now I have the love of my life I have had other men taking an interest in me all of a sudden.

• Like jerk ex friends emailing me claiming they loved me (dispite sleeping on my couch for six months rent free, then abruptly ditching me with his stuff to get with another woman and have a kid - I don't call that love.)

In life and endlessly online I get guys not getting the hint. Even when I say I'm taken.

Is there a term that means 'fuck off my heart is no longer in my chest and it ain't ever coming back?'

I thought saying 'it's complicated' ment you were in a sort of relationship where you didn't know where it may go but you were otherwise taken. Not that it was a: well whatever she's got going on will fail I'll try and get in on the ground floor. (Or something like that)

Here's the blunt facts.

I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND. 😍

I know where my heart is. ♥

That won't change even if he does decide otherwise.

Sure, due to issues with health he presently dasn't know what he wants moving forward.

That's ok for me.

It's society that seems to have the issues with giving the man time.

He is really unwell.

It's fair for him to not know because of medication that messes with utterly everything a man needs to be in a relationship. Even clarity of mind and feelings.

We still hang out all the time and are always nauseatingly cozy all the time (that's what society calls it - I adore how we are) He clearly likes me in someway and that's all I need to know.

However guys are not getting that I consider myself utterly taken. Even if he decides he dasn't anymore I know my own heart. I am not a woman to sleep around and I'm not a woman to fall in love over and over.

I'm sorry guys but you have all missed your chance. Like the country song by Alan Jackson says:

'I was gone before you met me'

How do I get that through to them?

[Sparkie460]

I think men and women both like the challenge of going after someone who is taken. They want to see how easy it can be to get you to leave your s. o. and go with them.
When younger women see my wedding ring they approach me. They sometimes get touchy with me.
Just simply tell them you are taken and you're not interested.

[chriss]

You would have to cut contact it’s the only way because some peoples mind plays games on them which leads to false beliefs

[WriterDreams]

These are guys I don't know. I tell them flat. The ex friend mentioned I have cut ties with. The day it all happened.

[LargeMemberAsk]

You would have to cut contact it’s the only way because some peoples mind plays games on them which leads to false beliefs

[LargeMemberAsk]

judaism

[WriterDreams]

@LargeMemberAsk yeah I'm juish and over thirty that'll send the non commiters running 😂

[itsalyssaagain]

I’ve heard you attract more men when you’re in a relationships because you’re glowing. And people tend to be attracted to that kind of positive energy.

[Nikki1989]

Like I always say, men are a dime-a-dozen. If you want one, 10 will appear out of nowhere. It never fails.

[Anonymous]

I know some guys do this too, but you do realize this is much more a female behavior than a male one, right?

[WriterDreams]

No I hadn't. This is utterly new to me. Every element of relationships, from caring till it hurts, to mother-in-laws, communicating, understanding men, and even sex. All of it and more is new to me. Think Rapunzel in Disney's Tangled. If you've ever seen it.

I'm personally kind of an ugly sod. So no guys have ever been interested before. I was utterly invisible. Then this amazing one looked twice. Apparently liked what he saw - said he thought I was cute and interesting. (I think he needs his eyes checked 😂)

Then all of a sudden I'm getting old ex friends emailing me hearing about me finding love and then instantly claiming he loves me too. Not to mention lots and lots of men doing it at restaurants, bars and events, and online. Even here on GAG.

I am happier perhaps it's that "glow" that's suddenly bringing them in. 😂

Though I didn't realise it happens so much with women being the clueless ones not hearing 'taken'.

Thanks for pointing it out.

[Opinion Owner]

That's great, I'm happy you found an amazing guy who recognized your beauty. Everyone has beauty in them, but sometimes it takes a special person to see it and bring it out in them. I think you may have a point about that "glow". Love, and confidence, can bring that out in a person, and others see it and are drawn to it. Well I wish you and your man the best.

Cheers

[WriterDreams]

Thanks. 😃
That's sweet of you to say.
I hope things work out for you in your life too.

[Anonymous]

They understand, they just don't respect your relationship. Not much you can besides telling them to fuck off.

[WriterDreams]

Yeah NO ONE respects our relationship. Not a single dang person around us. Certainly not his mother or those at the clinic.

It is rough but he makes it worth it.

'Love can walk through fire without blinking.' - Alan Jackson.

Just thought I'd ask to see if I could get any pointers. If I understand I can come up with better ways to handle it. That's my approach to issues. Thanks for the advice.

[Opinion Owner]

I get that and best of luck to you guys. And I apologize if my opinion came off as rude. It's just the men you describe simply don't care about you or your relationship. They don't care that if they did manage to make cheat on your current boyfriend with them (I'm not saying you would), you would be just as likely to cheat on them as well because they don't care about long-term. Their only goal is to sleep with you. That's all they are thinking about.

I think you're handling it just fine.
Just keep being direct and cut off all contact with them.

[WriterDreams]

Thanks.

No, your comment didn't offend. I actually ment it in comical agreement with you.

I laughed when I read it because you were spot on and the first to say it.

Actually felt good to have someone say that. Felt supportive. Thanks.

In any case these fly by nighters wouldn't want to sleep with me if they saw what I looked like. 😝 (tounge in cheek)

The one in real life didn't even try when he was living with me. The one I've got now is confused and yet can't help himself. Is respectful and kind about my needs, food, safety etc. It feels more driven by love than the other guy that had utterly no respect for me at all in any field.

I don't believe that guy knew what love was. This all happened after he had the kid for all I know he was now single trying his luck. Just using the line.

The others you are right likely only want sex. 🤪

That's not me. They have no chance.

Thanks for the advice.

[spartan55]

Bottom line is that you aren't in a committed relationship. Yet you expect guys to 'leave you alone' because of your 'situationship'... yeah okay. Why are you entertaining other guys if you are so in love?

[WriterDreams]

Wow. You clearly didn't read right my question and the information. I never said I was entertaining anyone. Thank you very much.

I clearly stated many times that these were unsolicited advances that I put a stop to instantly but that the guys in question didn't listen too.
I don't appreciate you insinuating that I welcome thire advances. I couldn't give a shit for other men thank you very much. You are deeply rude.

[spartan55]

I read it right. You never stated anywhere that these were 'unsolicted advances', much less 'clearly many times'. Maybe you can quote one of these things examples. Just because you think something in your head doesn't mean you actually said it.

[spartan55]

Just like I thought. You can't even provide a quote from your own post to refute what I say.

[Anonymous]

I have noticed the same thing. Since I got married, I now get FAR more interest from women than I did before, including from women I knew before I was married. It's almost comical.

[WriterDreams]

Yeah it's bizarre!

What are they thinking?
Especially the ones that know us beforehand.

It's like my publisher they won't accept or own up to an idea or theme until someone else makes it popular first then they are all over it. Wanting it to be thire idea.

In both examples it's fair to say if they put in the effort before someone else did they might have been the ones. They can't come and take it away from the ones that did the work and earnt our love.

That is so wrong. In my opinion.

[Opinion Owner]

I think it's just human nature to feel "validated" in one's preferences when someone else shows the same preferences. It's kind of like when someone is ambivalent about whether they want to buy a product but as soon as they find out "there is only one left", which means others are buying them up, they suddenly put down their money.

www.discovermagazine.com/.../evolution-could-explain-why-having-a-girlfriend-makes-men-more-attractive

[mommymommymommy]

If "love" was real, divorce wouldn't happen

GET OVER IT

[Anonymous]

Just be truthful and direct.

[WriterDreams]

I am. I believe I've been kind but blunt. It's just amazing how nothing for decades now this. So odd.

[MementoMori777]

Tell them you have a boyfriend

[WriterDreams]

I have but apparently anything I say (like the details of this question) are not heard.

[MementoMori777]

Then ignore them

[Anonymous]

If you were happily taken, you wouldn’t be online

[spartan55]

Very true. OP is talking out of both sides of her mouth.

[WriterDreams]

What I'm not allowed to be on YouTube, or emails or GAG? None of these places are dating places I'm not there to hook up. You too are rude. What is wrong with you people?

[Opinion Owner]

A female looking for attention from other men is not a girlfriend.

[WriterDreams]

You're a dick. I'm have stated many times I am trying to stop the attention. Not seeking it out. Go rot in your cruel comments I have better things to do with my life than put up with people like you.

[Opinion Owner]

If that were true, you wouldn’t be posting stuff online.

[Anonymous]

Well at least you're not bitter. 😆😆😆

[WriterDreams]

😂 😂