Why are some men really controlling?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Controlling behavior can be displayed by individuals of any gender, but your question specifically addresses men. It's important to note that not all men exhibit controlling behavior, and controlling behavior is not exclusive to men. However, when certain individuals, regardless of gender, display controlling behavior, it can stem from a variety of factors. Here are a few possible reasons:

1. Insecurity: Some individuals may feel insecure or have low self-esteem, leading them to exert control over others as a way to cope with their insecurities. By controlling their partner's actions or choices, they may seek to feel more secure and validated.

2. Power dynamics: Control can also stem from a desire for power and dominance within a relationship. Some individuals may believe that controlling their partner is a way to maintain power and assert dominance over them.

3. Learned behavior: Controlling behavior can be learned from past experiences or modeled after observed relationships. If someone grew up in an environment where control was normalized or witnessed controlling behavior in their parents or caregivers, they may be more likely to exhibit similar patterns in their own relationships.

4. Fear of abandonment: Some individuals may display controlling behavior as a way to prevent their partner from leaving them. This fear of abandonment can manifest as controlling actions, such as monitoring their partner's activities, isolating them from friends and family, or constantly questioning their loyalty.

5. Lack of trust: Controlling behavior can be rooted in a lack of trust. If someone has experienced betrayal or has deep-seated trust issues, they may resort to controlling tactics to try to prevent their partner from engaging in behaviors they perceive as threatening.

It's important to recognize that controlling behavior is not healthy or acceptable in a relationship. It's essential to establish and maintain open communication, mutual respect, and shared decision-making within a partnership. If you find yourself in a relationship where controlling behavior is present, it may be necessary to seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals to address the situation and ensure your well-being.

kbbroiler · Accepted Answer

It depends what do you mean by controlling? I keep hearing this stuff and I am 52 years old now. Keeping mind I heard the same thing 22 years ago. Ladies if you are in a relationship and want to act single like to go to clubs and that stuff. That is fine but enjoy having forever problems with each and every guy you date. I have seen women who were my age all across the board who I knew at age 22 single or got married than then divorced. Some of them now get it but it’s too late for them. If you expect a man to provide and protect for you the club life ends. You want to go to the club, have guy friends, and girl vacations go live your truth but your relationship will fall a part. This is not about the insecurity BS women try to say about men. No! You can’t mix your koolaid. Pick one or the other but I have seen what happened to women in their 20s now in their 50s who are single and no man. Plus I am not going to roll up to them because now when men get older men have the power. Women have the power when they are younger but you should use that time to find a man in your early 20s.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Speaking from my experience from being a bit of a control freak, it's usually because they want things a certain way... they're way. More often than not it comes from being an overachiever and perfectionist. You want everything to go perfectly and if it doesn't, your world seems to fall apart. It's certainly not a good way to be but that's what a controlling person is in a nutshell.

Sour-rose · Accepted Answer

Simply because they can be. I'm sure that's not a lot but most men want to be in control... of a lot. Even other humans. Make them feel in power. And sometimes, a woman like a man to be controlling. Until he gets toxic and filled with power. Then it's not fun anymore. :c

razelove · Answer

Because we want things a certain way. You only call it controlling behavior when it conflicts with what you want. In the same way that masculinity can be toxic when it is a set of behaviors that conflicts with what is convenient.
Women are the same, it's just much more rare that men call them out on it. Men and women tend to make their demands, or controlling behaviors passive aggressive rather than being blunt with them, which is twice as annoying, so I can get where that pattern can set your teeth on edge if you encountered near-identical scenarios one after another.
My only real demands are to only sleep with me, when we're together pay attention to me, and tell me when something is wrong. Besides those broad strokes most other things will work themselves out as long as you just care about each other.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

Why do women say they want a man to take control, then complain that he's too controlling?

Well I'll tell you now, any man who takes control will want to do so in every aspect of his life. Not just the bedroom or choosing some place to eat. Everything. He's used to getting things his way and he won't have it any other way. Get used to it

Adam1978 · Answer

Because you probably misbehaving, you won't notice a leech unless you try to leave it's reach. So the one feeling controlled is the ones that can't handle relationships. Sure there is extreme men but most men are reasonable when it comes to boundaries.

BoobSlayer · Answer

For some men with an IQ of about 80, it's all about controlling or being controlled. They choose the former. See:

Mangospacho · Answer

There’s something seriously wrong with guys like that, honestly. The best you can hope for with guys like this is just a melodramatic mediocre mood even when everything is going exactly their way. If you dare step outside of their control, they go nuclear.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Because they were controlled as children? Affraid of loss, separation? the answer to most questions seems to be "lets examine the little child inside the adult"...

Fireguy17 · Answer

a lot goes back to how they were raised. That is what the learned/saw at home growing up so to them that is what is normal, and they end up emulating that behavior.

MementoMori777 · Answer

I would assume it's cause they feel like they don't have enough power and want power?

RingOfFire · Answer

It's a personal preference. Some women love being dominated and controlled. It makes them feel protected. Others don't. Some men are that way. Others aren't. The nice thing is that you can choose the kind of partner you want.

Tamera952 · Answer

Because you’re interrupting their masturbation schedule.

MrCommodore · Answer

They are insecure, fear she will run off with other guys, so they lock her away.

WonderBell99 · Answer

Who knows? Don't date boys who like controlling others around him. They suck.

exitseven · Answer

They are insecure and feel like they have to control everything.

stratford · Answer

Because they are insecure and selfish, and have trust issues.

Anonymous · Answer

because they were brought up to be that way or had people around them that treated others that way and they're a sponge.

Anonymous · Answer

I think men and women are equally controlling, men just tend to be more open about it while we women tend to be more subtle and manipulative.

lucky00909 · Answer

Because we now about others more than you around as and show to be nice but a controlling men always try to keep best of him and you others just say and go but which is controlling you he wants to be with you for Whole life

astrophelle · Answer

That's whyy they feel powerful if you're with one of those psychos please run away from him.

MikeyObrien · Answer

Because they feel responsible for their lovers. And men suffer tbe consequences of women's actions more than women.

OddBeMe · Answer

Well, on some level it’s psychopathy. I think we all have some % of it, but the serial killers are obvi the 10s. Lol

Why are some men really controlling?

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