This is so awkward - I keep on accidentally running into the same guy (someone I liked who does not like me back) - does he think I’m following him😰?

[Anonymous]

There is this guy from work that I used to like but have tried to forget about because I just knew from all his facial expressions that he “figured out” my feelings and they were obviously not returned (he basically just thinks I’m weird). Despite trying to minimize contact (my job is very solitary) so I don’t have to think about him anymore, this has not worked consistently, because we still see each other both at work and outside (in my neighborhood which is near where I work). What makes it even more uncomfortable is that I get very anxious around him (it’s triggering for me), he sees it, and finds it odd We live in a semi-rural area and both work in the same building, but I’ve seen him drive past me a few times in my neighborhood (a couple blocks away from work) during times when I did not expect to see him (I’m in charge of payroll so I have a general idea of people’s schedules). Then I think I might have driven past him when I had to go the ER (which is also near my apartment). Then at work, when I see him it’s always at the most awkward moments, such as when I was called to fix a problem I couldn’t fix and when I stayed late past my schedule one night and he walked by my office to get a mop, probably not expecting me to be there. I don’t want these encounters, because he already thinks I’m weird. He knows that I was into him and awkward around him, and I don’t want him thinking that I’m following him. Last time I accidentally saw him, he looked really nervous and glared at me, probably not even realizing I did not intend this. I want to forget him because he makes me self-conscious and reminds me of yet another guy I accidentally fell in love with who “figured it out” when I acted flustered and nervous, and then started treating me weirdly and displayed social cues that he wanted nothing to do with me. So the last thing I want is to both be reminded of him and him thinking that I’m following him, because he already has a low opinion of me.

[KBird]

Honestly, your crush on him was in the past. And even if you get awkward around him, so what? you're not following him, and if he was to think that, then thats his issue/insecurity. You currently are living your life, and doing your job and he just happens to be bumping into you. Maybe he's following you (I dont actually think so). But you can't work at the same place and not expect to bump into each other. Also, any guy would be lucky for you (or any girl) to have a crush on him, so the fact that he makes facial expressions about it, makes him sound like an ass. I understand why you're uncomfortable around him, but I would honestly ignore him. He doesn't sound worth the anxiety.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

"Any guy would be lucky for you (or any girl) to have a crush on him"

That's the most misandrist thing I've heard all year. As if women are just so much better than men, we're lucky to be graced by your presence. Pull your head out of your ass

[KBird]

I never said we’re better than men. And honestly I would be lucky to have any guy to have a crush on me. Anyone would be lucky to have anyone have a crush on them. That’s what I meant. The person who wrote this I assumed was a woman, so I wrote it in relation to that. But you’re right. It was wrong of me to assume that. My bad.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Oh ok lol. Sorry for the brash assumption. I'm used to man hating women on this site, so I kind of came out of the gate swinging. MY bad 😔

[KrakenAttackin]

He probably doesn't give you a second thought. Don't worry about it.

[Avicenna]

I think you’re overthinking this

[Wise4myage]

He might think you're a stalker, lol.

[Asker]

That’s not very comforting. I wasn’t trying to give that impression. Is there any way I could fix that?

[Wise4myage]

Sorry, just try not to keep running into him. Change things in your daily routines or stop going to places where you run into him.

[Asker]

I’ve tried doing all of that. It’s mostly when I walk to work that I see him (I can’t afford a car right now). There is only one street I could take to walk there without spending an hour walking. It’s happened a few times even though I changed my schedule so I would not see him. Then I think I might have seen him when I took a cab to the ER (is it my fault I had to go to the emergency room?)

[Wise4myage]

Then just ignore him and act like he doesn't exist.

[In_Trance]

Choose a different route

[Asker]

I chose a different schedule, so I don’t know why I would see him on the only route I could take when I didn’t think he would be there. Also, at work, my supervisor has the most irritating habit of calling me down from my office at random times, and half the time he is there. Then the real question is, how do I explain the accidental run-ins that already happened?