Please help me make sense of this: was he just looking for sex/sth casual or an actual relationship?

[1104km]

So I met this guy on Tinder, he texted me quite consistently, was quite flirty but asked about my interests etc. and suggested a 1st date at his place. I asked to meet in a public place instead, he agreed and suggested a bar that's close to where he lives. We met, he was kind and respectful, we had really a lot in common so I liked him. But after the date, he walked me to his house, despite me telling him earlier that I didn't want to go to his place (I made an excuse and left). The next day, he asked for my IG and said he was deleting Tinder, which I took as a sign that he liked me.

He didn't text me for a whole month (we were also both out of town because of Christmas break), just kept watching/liking my stories. I texted him 2x after a month: first to wish him a happy new year and ask when he's back in town, and then again after he was back to suggest meeting up again, to which he enthusiastically agreed. He postponed the 2nd date twice bc he was busy, which is fine, but he did suggest grabbing food and then going to "hang out" at my place. The date went great, I felt like we had a great connection, talked about serious stuff like our pasts, him wanting kids someday etc. After we got to my place, he suggested watching a movie in bed, during which he attempted a few times to have sex with me, which I refused (Ik it's weird but I wasn't ready). He was nice but seemed very disappointed in the morning and left earlier than he planned.

Afterwards, I didn't hear from him for over a week, until I texted him to ask if he'd be down to meet again, to which he agreed, but when I asked when he's free he said "I'll let you know" & then I didn't hear from him again for a few days, until I texted again to say I'm free the next weekend if he is, and we agreed to meet at his place.

I feel like there are mixed signals, but do you think he just wanted sex from the start and lost interest after I said no, or was he genuinely interested but lost interest for whatever reason?

[D_Bone_Steak]

I'm trying to understand, you go on Tinder, which is for finding sex (flings and friends with benefits's), and you're wondering why he's trying to have sex? That site is basically for finding someone to "Netflix'n'Chill with... which means come over, we'll put on a movie, and we might start fucking before the movie is over.

You sound like you're looking for a relationship with full-on commitments... why are you on Tinder? I think what you're looking for is more likely to be found on Okaycupid or something like that.

[spartan55]

He's about out of patience for you not putting out.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I feel all the signs were there that he just wanted to hook up. From inviting you to his house as a first date, trying to get to his house after the date, trying to hook up with you at your house, there’s a lot of signs that you may have disregarded a bit because he came off as polite and kind. Please don’t confusion a good personality with being a good partner, he was just trying to play his cards right.

[Avicenna]

Of course it was just sex he wanted. And a first date at his place? Only a guy who wants sex suggests that.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. Every date ends up at your place or his? All the dates seem to be to him is a chance to get you to have sex with him. Thus why he doesn't text you for a month when you're gone I think.

[Avicenna]

Tinder? Obviously sex, also judging from his behavior

[ShesRad80]

only wanted/s hook up

[In_Trance]

Only wanted to smash

[1104km]

but then why would he delete his tinder after our first date? plus the conversations we had during our dates seemed to indicate to me that he was genuinely interested in me :(

[In_Trance]

He was interested in you to an extent. You turned him down!!!
What do you expect him to do when you turn him down?
Not all guys F around - if you say no, that's it. No second chance. He'll find someone else

[1104km]

But the thing is, just because I wasn't willing/ready to have sex with him early on doesn't mean I "turned him down", especially that I initiated another date after that, so he clearly knew I liked him. Plus if he was genuinely interested in me (not just wanting sex), wouldn't he respect the fact that I wanted to wait before getting intimate with him?

[In_Trance]

Clearly not.
In his eyes if you're not ready then you're never going to be. You turned him down.
So he moved on.

[1104km]

Damn, that kinda hurts because I really liked him. But tbh, if me not wanting to have sex with him right away caused him to withdraw/grow distant, that definitely indicates to me that his primary goal was just to smash, that he wasn't interested in me as a person.

[mommymommymommy]

Guys on tinder are losers. GO OUT

[boobliker]

tinder is mainly for SEX sorry

[Bobbysworld]

He just wants sex