Texting a guy for awhile but I feel I can’t get a proper connection with him?

[Anonymous]

He’s absolutely so good looking dresses great.
But I’m text he’s just so hard to have a conversation with and we went on one date and I felt I was over talking and when I said do you wanna talk about something he didn’t know what to say.
So I said I would shut up for a while and it was just silence and he asked me was I okay?
And I was like I’m grand I’m just waiting for you to talk about something..
Like I just feel there’s no connection between us when there should be.
Like all he seems to do is work and hang out with the guys constantly he’s never really not doing anything and he gave up alcohol but is always in the pub with his friends.
I don't know I’m just over thinking but it’s just so hard to tell his intentions as I’m not getting much with him

[kylee2437]

You can’t force yourself to have feelings for someone. Exit the situation

[Asker]

I know but I feel everyone deserves a chance I just would wish he engage with me more like ask me things or just seem interested in what I was telling him not just be emotionally unavailable or not there

[kylee2437]

@asker I don’t think it comes down to emotionally unavailability, I think it comes down to his overall personality , which you seemingly aren’t fond of. You can’t change that, and you are ultimately setting yourself up for failure by trying to turn this guy into your personal project.

[Asker]

Maybe so I just thought maybe he could be shy or taking his time with things.. like I’m trying my best to get to know him

[kylee2437]

@asker if that’s how you feel then you can’t expect a man to be automatically in touch with deeper feelings. But besides the fact, you named qualities of him you overall don’t like that most likely won’t change or will change for the wrong reasons. What’s holding you up to liking this guy even though you have named mostly cons about him?

[kylee2437]

Is it his looks? Maybe you need to decide for yourself that looks itself just ain’t going to cut it. He isn’t providing for you what you are looking for and his looks shouldn’t be the reason why you stay around. You aren’t going to be happy in the long run.

[Asker]

Yeah looks is the main thing lol and I like I supppse that he texts me every day even if it’s a video of deer in a field I like that and I suppose I feel I can trust him which is a big thing with me as my trust was broken before.. the only thing that bothers me is conversation and the lack of interest in me I’m used to having lads complimenting me and just choosing the things to do while with him I feel it’s me making all the effort and he just agrees with me if that makes sense that’s what I mean he’s not giving me any emotional side of him

[kylee2437]

Yeah you need to just leave things where they are at and find someone that has more to offer up than looks. He will always have the upper hand between you two because you are stuck on his looks and no matter how little he has to offer you, his looks will still make up for the lack of everything else that is important to a relationship.

[Asker]

Maybe so but I think I’m good looking too I’m just not confident I’m myself.. there was one thing that turned me off on our first date was that he wanted to have sex with me and I told him I was uncomfortable and wanted to wait and he said he respected that but still was trying it with me and then asked me to give him a blow job and I said no and I was done with him but he kept begging me for a chance and saying sorry after and that’s when I said I’d give him another chance to prove himself

[kylee2437]

So even more reason to cross him off the list. You may be good looking but holding onto a man for superficial reasons is never going to make you happy. With how things went on the first date, I highly highly highly doubt you will end up in a relationship with this guy.

[Asker]

Maybe so thanks for your help and time

[Alex8736]

I know that feeling too well but the moment you start seeing someone else then they never shut up

[Asker]

I don’t think he cares if I see someone else lol I don’t take him as the jealous type

[Alex8736]

TBH you would be surprised... I dated someone once where it felt like pulling teeth trying to initiate a conversation but only getting one word answers, I finally decided to ghost her if she tried calling or texting knowing it would be dead air. Long story short I started getting friendly with someone who can have fun and speak their mind and when the previous one I was she got word from the street and left me a text that was more than one word stating "I Really Like You a lot" and my response in past tense was "You had a funny way of showing it" just saying

[Asker]

Oh feck really! That’s mad. That’s what the guy I’m texting is like pulling teeth to the max you don’t know whether they like u or not like it’s so annoying

[Alex8736]

best bet would be ghost him for a week and if you dont receive a single text or call you will know how he feels about you

[Asker]

Well he would text me but I just feel he’s trying to sleep with me like how are u supposed to know a guy likes u

[Alex8736]

dont waste your time

[In_Trance]

stop texting him and move on

[Asker]

Do you think so?

[In_Trance]

absolutely

[Asker]

Why do u think so

[In_Trance]

because you can't even have a conversation with him. What are you possibly going to do beyond this?

[Asker]

Lol true