Why are toxic guys so attractive?

Question

I've noticed that I find toxic guys more attractive. But I don't know what makes them such attractive... Do you girls agree with me?

blunty · Accepted Answer

The idea that "toxic guys are attractive" can't be generalized for all people or situations. However, there are some psychological and social factors that may help explain why some individuals find toxic or "bad boy" personalities appealing.

Confidence: Toxic individuals often exude a form of confidence that can be initially magnetic. This self-assurance can be attractive, especially to those who may be lacking in self-esteem themselves.

Excitement and Drama: Toxic relationships often come with a degree of unpredictability and excitement, which can be mistaken for passion or intensity, especially in the early stages of a relationship.

The "Fixer-Upper" Syndrome: Some people are attracted to the idea that they can "fix" a damaged individual and are willing to overlook toxic traits under the belief that they can change them.

Social Validation: In some social circles, dating someone who is considered 'exciting' or 'rebellious' can offer a form of social validation.

Media Influence: Film, television, and literature often romanticize toxic behavior, portraying it as a sign of depth or passion, which can influence real-world attitudes.

Cycle of Abuse: People who have grown up in environments where toxic behavior was normalized may be more likely to enter into similar relationships as adults because they find them familiar or because they have not learned what a healthy relationship looks like.

Lack of Self-Worth: Those with lower self-esteem may feel that a toxic relationship is all they deserve, mistaking attention, even if it's negative, for affection.

It's essential to differentiate between traits that are superficially attractive and those that are conducive to a healthy, long-term relationship. While certain traits may seem appealing in the short term, toxicity in any form is damaging in the long run. Education and self-awareness are key in recognizing the signs of a toxic relationship and taking steps to avoid becoming involved in one...

noemiii · Accepted Answer

Speaking from first hand experience of a girl who liked “toxic” men, it 100% is rooted from my unresolved issues as a child, no healthy relationship with my father so I am used to picking men who act like my father, neglectful, egotistical and abusive. Men who ignored me especially because I was used to fighting for attention as a child and never got over that. It only took me healing myself to realize I was going after what I was familiar with. For the most part, women who like abusive men have a trauma bond to that.

provokeesmokee · Accepted Answer

No, I think you have some issues.

Toxic guys are literally repulsive to me. Like, a dude could look like a 10, but if he opens his mouth and spews toxicity, he becomes a instant 0.

It's like as he speaks, he morphs into a neckbeard, lol.

Marcuslrh · Accepted Answer

Time to heal the part of yourself that is attached to toxicity. You probably see it as more masculine maybe did you have good farther figure growing up? If not that might be why your attracted to what you believe to be the ideal man it's good you can at least identified them as toxic many can't even do that they are just fully blind to the bullsh*t so I guess that's a start.

236color · Accepted Answer

If he's a bad boy, you can do all those bad, dirty, nasty things with him. It's his fault, he's bad. If you do it with a nice guy, you WANTED to. Also good looking guys tend to be toxic because they can get away with it, if you're not as good looking nobody puts up with you being an asshole.

AshViper · Answer

Nope. Women with self respect & brought up in a good household don't even pause long enough to give these losers the time of day.

Women "attracted" to toxic guys unfortunately typically grew up in toxic abusive households where the inferior often small egoed & neglectful "father figure" was more adept at being a good for little asshole than a decent respectable member of society.

You should seek psychological help. Only way you'll learn that you're attracted to trash

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

I am reading a book : Norwegian wood

And there are two friends

1. Toru Watanabe

2. Nagasawa

Toru is a nice guy, Nagasawa is an asshole.

Handsome, irresistible, charismatic but an asshole.

I resemble Nagasawa to my ex, he could be very sweet mostly, but it didn’t change the fact that he was exactly like Nagasawa.

It says something that he is the only man I’ve had.

I guess, we are really attracted to some of the toxic traits, unfortunately.

I hope my next partner will be more like Toru Watanabe instead of Nagasawa.

blueonblack22 · Answer

I do not have a problem with women being attracted to asshole men. No. But I have very real problem with women who look for shoulders to cry on after they made the stupid ass decision to dive head first into the dark pit. They keep trying to convince society they are “victims” and powerless over their stupid decision making. Nobody really gives sympathy for men when they get burned by toxic women. I swear if women didn’t have this mental quirk then at least 50% of the domestic violence issues would never happen.

You want sexual freedom? Fine. But with freedom comes accountability. Date and bang a toxic man all you want. But when (not a matter of if but when) he abuses your and/or cheats on just remember you have no one else to blame but yourself. The writing was on the wall.

Sweetsurprize · Answer

No. I don't find toxic guys attractive. Life's hard enough as it is I need someone that I can depend on to be supportive and kind to me, especially in my time of need. Toxic people are for young, immature individuals. Ain't go no time for that shit honestly. Those people who are attracted to those types are usually, yeah, immature, need to grow up more, need to have healthier self worth and self respect. Plus, maybe they're only thinking about how the person looks, which is unfortunate and yeah, not always a good indicator of things to last. Either that, or they let their downstairs dictate too much of their dating life.

Anyway good luck.

catarecute · Answer

sociopath attract sociopaths. narcissist attract narcists. i have sosiopathic traits and i attract sosiopath and they attract me apert from it never ends up well because they are arsehole and i ave all the traits of sosiopathy apart from lack of emepathy. i have a particularly hight level of empathy. what i am trying to say is that everyone i know including myself who has been in a raltionship with a narcisist is actualy a narcicist. i have some traits but i realy work hard to cure them with therapy.

ODC2112 · Answer

Typically similar people are attracted to each other, in sociology this is called homophilia. Women usually do not have the duty to become adults, for them many behaviors are tolerated which for men would be considered childish, stupid and in the community of men are socially exclusive.
Therefore women are attracted to men with infantile traits such as narcissistic structures or disorders as they are typical of children. Women who have grown up usually despise this type of behavior, however there are fewer and fewer of them.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

The instability is a rush. When you finally get that validation from him, it tastes sweeter because you feel you've earned.

None of which is a good thing for you, by the way. You should probably look into doing some self work before you continue sabotaging your relationships.

haana · Answer

because some woman love the drama roller coaster ride relationship,. You’d be with him trying to fix him , hoping that he loves you and the parts of you that you hated. Two broken people don’t make one healed. they will just make more things break. Sometimes you in relationship with toxic men just to see who’s carrying more baggages to make you feel better

Drewtate · Answer

Because women love a bastard and to be treated like crap. The love the drama and excitement.

Anonymous · Answer

The guy I am dating is super toxic and abusive but that’s not why I’m attracted to him. I was initially attracted to him because of his humor, and he kept his dark side hidden for the first three weeks or so that we were together… but by that time I was already Attached to him and now it’s too late to leave

Billlewis · Answer

So called 'toxic' guys often have distinguishing characteristics that make them very appealing to a woman who is looking for an exciting, unpredictable relationship, short though it may prove to be.

ChooChooHaha · Answer

I enjoy the mostly Freudian responses. That being said, to entertain your agency as a human: They're smiling assassins. They look pretty, but behind closed doors, they'll cut you.

Katebfun · Answer

If you had a toxic dad or parent you might fine they subconsciously attractive.. even if you feel the chemistry that doesn't mean their good for you.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Maybe you're just toxic too? Or You're not attracted to the toxic part of them but rather the confidence they have and them being aggressive which most "Bad boys" have.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

I don’t believe you’re a girl. Second, it’s the uncompromising aspect you’re attracted to. Not the toxicity. But hey, maybe there are girls who like getting treated like shit and end up looking like they’re 50 before they reach 30.

Anonymous · Answer

Any woman that has embraced God in her heart, mind and soul will stay away from all toxicity, including such men. Thus perhaps such a thing is a sign that the Spirit is not being fed, Scripture is not being read, and God is not being sought.

Lady_Heart · Answer

They r attractive to look at in movies, not in real life. I hv liked good guys since day one n unfortunately they keep pretending to be good when they r toxic.

Sonorous · Answer

Gonna have to be specific here or people will think you're into guys who beat up kids or some shit.

inhua · Answer

bad boys have always been seen as attractive fictional works like 50 Shades of Grey and Twilight display this greatly

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

Because “nice guys” make love. Toxic guys will fuck your brains out and not follow you around like a lost puppy dog afterwards.

BigDog1989 · Answer

You're used to it. You don't think you deserve anything better, because you keep running into toxic men. Usually it's all about the attention, you crave, BAD OR good

Staximus · Answer

Because you grew up in a toxic environment as a child and that's what you subconsciously gravitate to, or you are dumber than a box of Triscuits

gxddess_ · Answer

Not all women find that attractive. Women who are attracted to toxic guys are broken women. People who are mentally stable can see beyond a façade that toxic people show, therefore leaving/ignoring them.

lightbulb27 · Answer

define toxic. becuase you like pain? you are drawn to broken people?

Anemone978 · Answer

They usually aren't because if they have a shit personality I lose interest fast..

Wonderingguyy · Answer

Maybe you find good guys boring. You know the whole concept of ‘bad boys’ being more adventurous, exciting etc

KrakenAttackin · Answer

You chase men who are considered attractive to other women aka Chad's. Chad cuts thorough pussy like a combine through a corn field, and women keep chasing him.

sheenagwapa · Answer

i do not... if i do it's because there are details i do not know of

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

The same reason cupcakes are attractive  you know they’re bad for you and that makes you want them more

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Why are women so attracted to them over normal guys?

Anonymous · Answer

narcissists are usually attractive physically, because all they care about is themselves

RingOfFire · Answer

Because women naturally enjoy being dominated by a man.

Unit1 · Answer

They are attractive because they are toxic. Duh.

DarkLegacy · Answer

They are not, it is just immature and awful women who go with them

DreamLife7 · Answer

You're unhealthy, insecure and wounded. Doesn't have anything to do with anyone else but you and your issues

LiamJHayden · Answer

If so there is a good chance the girl is either naive or damaged.

Alex8736 · Answer

Look at the case of Ted Bundy. They start off very charming then the rest is history

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

You’re emotionally immature is all. Marriageable women don’t find toxic people attractive

muscles_glasses · Answer

it still confuses me how me being slightly rude/busy to women led to more dates than being a nice guy

Charlie30001 · Answer

They are usually more strong and masculine, have more power and are more outwardly attractive. So women love that.

Anonymous · Answer

Hey at least you finally realized that about yourself at the ripe old age of 42. Better late then never! Step 2 is fixing the problem.

Anonymous · Answer

And this is what is sooooooo fucked up about the female psychii 🤪

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Because you’re an immature baby who needs to get help and get her shit together.

Anonymous · Answer

Nice guys have no spine and are boring. Assholes are sadly fun. This is what women say.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Toxic guys are the worst!

artgorgeous · Answer

Fix your issues.

sheikalana · Answer

Because you’re probably toxic too.

DextroShade · Answer

You find them attractive because you are damaged.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

I could say the same thing about girls 💀

zagor · Answer

Attractive guys can afford to be toxic.

red324 · Answer

Because you don't know anything else.

Grovermint · Answer

Because you're insane.

Anonymous · Answer

Cause you are just super submissive LOL

msc545 · Answer

Just like toxic women they are exciting.

grega239 · Answer

You attract what you are

whistlingwh0res · Answer

What is toxic guys?

Anonymous · Answer

No. You need mental help.

Anonymous · Answer

Probably the toxic family you grew up in

Anonymous · Answer

Who wouldn't love impossible project

gothbxtch · Answer

they’re not

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