If a girl starts kissing you and starts to have sex with you but stops you halfway, how would you feel? What would you think?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy, beautiful. We went for a drink, he held my hand, it was strange because I'm not used to holding a guy's hand. He told me I was a bit cold and asked me if I had someone, if I liked someone, I said no. I told him that I can't go for long because I have to go to the hotel to pack, because I'm traveling. We went to his place, we started kissing, he wanted something more, but I told him a couple of times to drive me to the hotel, that I had to pack. He said he would take me away, but why did I start taking him off if I don't want anything to do with him. What does he think about it now?

[DaveJord]

Yeah... If you had to get packing and going to the hotel, then you should have went straight to the hotel bottom line period you go to his house. You start making out with him, you start kissing and making out with him. Of course, he's gonna come to his own conclusion.

I would think that you went to my place. You started kissing you didn't like it, you wanted out. I would suspect I'd never see you again. Because you are uncomfortable with me.

If you didn't want that then don't go to his place. I've only had one woman come to my house and not have sex, and she made it very clear before coming Uber that she doesn't want to have sex. She just wants to hang out and watch a movie together and was it. We kissed a little before she left. She came back twice more before sex.

That was one woman in 17 women I have dated... coming to back to my place equaled sex in ever case but the one case... and it was discussed and talked about prior.

[Sevenpointfive]

why would you go out on a date if you aren't interested at all?

[VIVANT]

Wtf why did you have to ask him “several times” to take you to the hotel. What did he say each time you asked, until finally he took you. This guy is not trustworthy and I didn’t know why he was laughing in your other post.

[Billlewis]

Of course I'd be frustrated, but that's her right as a woman.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I'd wonder what was going on with her.

[Jamie05rhs]

That's his fault for trying to push sex to happen when you clearly told him it wasn't a good time.

[DaveJord]

She said not a good time... butbshe went to his place and made out with him. So slow down 9n the blame game, she played her part.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DaveJord She went along reluctantly. That wasn't what she wanted. He should have been aware and read the signs.

[DaveJord]

If it's not what she wanted and she need to go pack... then she should of went and packed.

[VIVANT]

@DaveJord

Going to his room or anywhere else does no = sex. There is no situation where sex is def happening. Sex is never ever a sure thing. A person jay stop at _any_ tine. No one is entitled to anyone’s body.

I don't know if he pushed for sex physically bc she is very vague but The fact she said she wanted to leave and he didn’t respect that immediately is terrible

[DaveJord]

@VIVANT I am not saying that just because she went to his house that she wanted sex, or that the guy has a right to think he is getting sex.

What I am saying is that if she definitely did not want sex, then don't go to his house. They could of hung out anywhere, and if she is not ready for that leave of intamacy then it is best that she not go.

But by going, in the man's head or way of thinking... the odds of sex went from zero to slightly better or less than 50%. Going to his house and making out, in that moment he is thinking the odds are better than 50/50.

So, to me not knowing all the details, or what was discussed beforehand, and with my vast knowledge and experience in online dating... if she did not want sex or to even be in that situation. she should not of gone to his house.

Plus the one key fact is that she says she needed to go to the hotel and pack... so there are more circumstantial factors involved. So, if she is staying in a hotel and needs to pack... then that means she is leaving after this guy took her on a date. So, he is probably not sure when and if she will see him again. So, she should not have gone, and she could have spent that time discussing plans for second date later... in which she could have come and visited him at his place.

But when you start hanging out a guy's place... he is thinking sex is more likely than not, and if not right away eventually. Not knowing the exact situation, I am not condoning this guy's behavior, but on the other hand I am not condoning hers, just because she is a woman.

[Jamie05rhs]

@VIVANT Thank you. You're 100% correct.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DaveJord Does his house have some sort of magical properties? Is it a special legal zone like CHOP or the Reedy Creek Improvement District? Is any female who enters required to then be entered?

[Jamie05rhs]

@DaveJord
"in the man's head or way of thinking..."
AND?

Whatever is going on inside his little brain is completely irrelevant.

It doesn't matter what he thinks. That doesn't mean he's going to be getting any pussy tonight.

[Jamie05rhs]

I agree that she should not have gone to his house. But he coerced her to go there. It isn't like it was her idea.

[Jamie05rhs]

"But when you start hanging out at a guy's place... he is thinking sex is more likely than not."
@DaveJord Please do not spread these bullshit myths. Thank you.
Not everything is about sex.

[DaveJord]

@Jamie05rhs It does matter what he thinks and what's going on in his head. I absolutely matters just as much as what she thinks and has going on in head... that's true equality... what both think and feels matter even when you disagree.

@Jamie05rhs You know what that little voice in your head says to you... this may not be a good idea... bit you do it anyway. This women had to hear that voice telling here not to go... but she went anyway. Inside his house and willingly went and started making out with him. So the guy goes for sex and makes the move. She said no and left. But had to know on some level what she was doing was risky behavior.

Would you tie a stake around your neck and walk into a lions cage? No and when that lion attacks you, who would blame the lion?

Sur you were just going into the lions den to hang out and have fun, and nothing more. But had to know on some level it's risky behavior. You hope for best bit should be prepared for the worst. And if you weren't then don't blame the lion.

Now in lion cage analogy if it's a guy, he's a fucking idiot. If it's a women you think, she should of known better.

She was hoping for best, didn't get it, and she should of known better.

I am not saying guy is right, no I am not... but she should have known better.

[Jamie05rhs]

This isn't about equality. This is about respecting women and respecting boundaries.

[Jamie05rhs]

I agree with you regarding the little voice in the head. But guys like that are very persuasive and manipulative, and they override that little voice.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes, I agree that she has to know that what she was doing was risky behavior. I'm not saying she was completely innocent.
She was probably playing that game of "Let's see how close I can get to the line without crossing it." She wanted excitement.

[Jamie05rhs]

But she's not responsible for his actions. He is.

[DaveJord]

It's about respecting everyone... that is equality what you speak of is inequality. When you think respecting women's boundaries are more important than respecting a man's boundaries, then I raise concern.

I am not saying this is not worthy of discussion, and that her perspective does not deserve my respect, but respect and agreement is not the same thing. So, let's not just make any assumptions here without hearing from the man. We too easily assume the worst of men to quickly and in doing that negate the woman's responsibility to take responsibility for her choices and decisions.

I have been manipulated, and persuaded by women, does that make women right or wrong? I do not blame women, I blame the individual, who again happened to be woman.

I 100% agree with you, she is not responsible for "HIS" actions. But "SHE" is responsible for her own actions. And you cannot pin the man's actions all on her or hers on him... takes two to tango and they both made choices.

Now I do not see given the explanation she has provided here, where the guy crossed the line. I mean he made a move, on a woman that willingly came to his house and started making out with him. So, he made a move, and she rejected him, and she left. I mean that happens all the time, so let's not jump to outrage... they are both consenting adults.

Now if he did not stop, if he raped her, even tried to prevent her from leaving... now we have a different story, but she has not said anything like that happened. Just be careful before jumping to conclusions.

[Jamie05rhs]

Equality is not the point. Men need to respect women's boundaries, PERIOD. Full stop.

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm assuming that she's telling the truth. I have to give her the benefit of the doubt in this case.
I don't believe ALL women, but I believe this poster of this question.

[Jamie05rhs]

"willingly came to his house."
"willingly CAME TO HIS HOUSE.". THAT'S IT. She came to his house. That is what she did willingly. Came To His House. You can't extrapolate that to mean that she consented to sex. It doesn't work like that. She didn't automatically sign up for sex.

[Jamie05rhs]

And no one said anything about rape. So I don't know why you're jumping to THAT conclusion.

[DaveJord]

She is willing came to his and started making out with him... willing engaging in sexual activity.

She said to sex, and she left. What did he do that was so wrong?

He did not kidnap her or rape her. She didn't like it and she left. What's the problem? Live and learn and get better and make better choices, hopefully he will, and so will she.

[DaveJord]

*said no to sex

[Sunnybeach123]

I guy would be a little frustrated, but that's his problem. That's life.

[Jmmmfi4]

ID BE REALLY REALLY ANNOYED AND CONFUSED... PROBABLY WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN

[Wonderingguyy]

I would just think she got nervous or something

[Tortoise_Lover]

He thinks your playing him

[msc545]

ask him, not us.