Girls, The girl I like wants to start as friends after we have already dated she just wasn’t ready the first time. I want her but how do I go forward?

[Anonymous]

She was engaged when we first got together and was unhappy and wanted to see what there was with me. We dated for six months and it started to eat at her so I told her to take time. 4 months after we broke up she contacted me and we have been talking more and seeing eachother. She has told me that she is not ready for a relationship and she wants us to be friends first. We went to a bar together and she was hanging on me like I was her boyfriend and kissing me and talking about how she felt if we had a kid together or how her relationship with my son is great. She told me on the dance floor how she wanted me to come back to her and that she does have feelings for me but she isn’t ready for it yet. She wants to find herself but still calls and texts me. What do I do? She knows my feelings for her and that I want to be there for her. She came to my house yesterday to see me and when we kissed she said she doesn’t want it to be exclusive yet but she wants it to be fun and flirtatious. What do I do?

[_Maya_]

Do what you want to do. Why do you need anyone to tell you what to do? If you like her and can wait then wait. If you don't feel like it is worth it then don't. The thing that bothers me about the question is where you say you got together with her while she was engaged. So essentially that means that she cheated on some level. Do you really want a girl that will cheat? I wouldn't want a partner that cheated. It just means that they are capable of it and likely will do it again. I wouldn't want to have that in the back of my mind that I was dating a cheater.

[SueShe]

You should let her sort out her feelings and not rush her. Of course, you are in an uncomfortable situation since you don't really know how to behave with her. If you are too straight forward or pushy, she might delay or postpone her decision even more. If you wait for her to make up her mind, you may find someone else or she may suddenly find someone else herself.

But given the fact that she is indecisive, yet still showing interest in you, I would suggest that you wait patiently the outcome. However, you must prioritize your own life and she cannot expect you to wait ad aeternam for her. Your best option would be to give her an ultimatum. This way you indicate that you are not a toy that she can play with and that your feelings are just as important as hers.

[Anonymous]

Don't be pushy. Let things happen naturally.