Why did he ghost me?

[Anonymous]

I have been seeing this guy for about a month and a half and we’ve gone on 8 dates. He was very clear on wanting a relationship and was super sweet to me.

last week he even told me that he would never forget about me and always told me how attracted he was to me and how much he liked me. Weve been intimate for a bit so he was not just trying to get into my pants.

I saw him one week ago and everything was good we had a really good time, we even talked about being exclusive and stopped using condoms.

I slept over but when I woke up it was like a switch flipped. He told me he hardly slept and when he did he had a weird dream about me breaking all of his stuff. Since then I would maybe get 1 or 2 texts from a day but he would still be asking questions and stuff.

After a few days I asked if everything was okay and he just said he was busy. He also updated his bumble profile that night. Then two days later he stopped talking to me all together.

I just don’t get why he ghosted me, I thought things were going really well. I was pretty much falling for him too, I’m just so confused.

[silvermoon84]

I’m sorry he’s acting this way. It might not be ghosting though. Sometimes guys pull away when things start to get serious and it drives women crazy. The dating coach Matthew Hussey gives great advice on how to handle the guy pullback: keep yourself busy with other things. Take up hobbies, hang out with your friends, take care of your body, etc (chances are you’re already doing these things so keep doing them). Don’t reach out to him anymore. Let him reach out to you instead. Guys do this for several reasons. He could be pulling back out of fear, deciphering whether he wants to continue the relationship or (hopefully this one is not the case) he’s met someone else he’s more interested in. The only way to know is to pull back yourself. If there’s no one else and he’s still interested, he’ll start to wonder about you and reach out. Then it’s up to you if you still want to see him. Worst case scenario he won’t reach out again, in which case he is ghosting you and you can move on.

[Asker]

Yeah I’ve been keeping myself occupied. He actually stopped responding to me while I was on a trip with my friends so it was nice to have them with me while all of this was happening. I’m hoping maybe he’ll say something and tell me what’s going on. But I think it’s best to not wait for that, I’ve already been working on myself and doing my best at moving on :) just sucks that I have no clue what went wrong, I’ll just have to find closure by myself.

[silvermoon84]

It does suck, but I’m glad you’re handling it well. For what it’s worth, I didn’t handle it well when I was your age and guys did that to me, so I’m glad you’re wiser than I was.

[YourExLover69]

Sorry to say but he used you for sex. He doesn't sound serious for you. His intentions were to sleep with you for few times. Now his excitement and lust is gone.

Maybe he's seeing and sleeping with few more girls. Move on. You deserve better guy.

[Asker]

It sucks. I can usually tell when a guy is using me for sex but I was sure he didn’t seem like the type to do that. But we were sexting a lot when he went on his vacation and as soon as he came back home he wanted to see me and that was the last time I saw him. So him losing his excitement and lust does make sense.

[YourExLover69]

There you go. If he was focusing more on sexting. It was a hint that he was just fulfilling his pleasure and lust.

Maybe he met new girl on his vacation.

[HippoDino]

He might not have initially been using you for sex, who knows what actually spooked himz either way he sounds like a man child who doesn't know how to use his words, you aren't missing out on much.

[Anonymous]

Drop him before you waste your time even more

[Anonymous]

So sad, too bad.