I really need to know?

[Anonymous]

So iam in my second year in uni and i met this guy and he’s the one who started the eye contact knowing that i got his god damn attention from the very first day i got in. He keeps looking sits where i sit in between lectures but not everytime to be specific knowing that there is something going on but i just don’t get why he doesn’t even try to show up to talk or make the first move for anything i try to make it as short as possible but it keeps on eating my brain knowing that he does have an interest but not bothered to show an effort for it i really do need an explanation because it’s triggering me to know

[Anonymous]

You’ve talked about this for a good chunk of time now. I’d say either talk to him already or stop feeding into what he’s doing. You should keep in mind that playing eye tag does not always translate to that person being interested in actually dating or pursuing you. That is a whole other ballpark, and if you’re in school he may not be interested in prioritizing a relationship along with work and studies. He may even already have a woman he’s dealing with for all you know. If you want real answers though you gotta go to the source, we can only speculate.

[Opinion Owner]

From your comment to the other guy, you know you lack the courage to address him so stop being frustrated he won’t do what you’re ‘waiting’ on, you don’t even know if there’s anything on his end aside from being curious why he keeps catching this girl in class looking. Not saying for sure that’s his POV, but it’s fair enough to consider he might just be amused with these exchanges.

[Asker]

What are these exchanges though? Its not about me having courage i just hate it when girls get to start anything with guys first. looks differ from a normal look and it was clearly not a normal one it is obvious and tbh i had never did see him in groups surrounding girls or even talk to anyone of them he did talk to me once but it wasn't a big of a deal for me to talk about maybe i did understood wrong but from what he is doing is a different thing making eye contact knowing iam in the same place as him doesn’t really make much sense to me iam not saying that he’s following me in every place iam in but why would he be doing all that but not have a reason to have an actual convo about it and just keeps it going on with the stares and look?

[Asker]

Like he’s unbothered to try to make any effort for it yet gives you those signals that make your 100% sure that there ia something going on

[Opinion Owner]

So I’m not sure what setting this all happens in (like school, work), but what I do realize is that these moments start and end at that location. You don’t know anything about this man on a personal level or what any of his behavior means for him, so who knows if you’re even accurate about these signals. When I consider things from his POV, I do wonder if in his mind it’s like one day he caught the attention of this woman (you), and since then it’s been eye tag. Maybe you have never done this before, but I’ve definitely had that person more than once where I will be intrigued by catching them look so often. I never considered before that on their end, I am the one who keeps looking and they interpret this as a signal or sign of romantic interest. Yes I can be wrong about my views, we can all be mistaken, but I would hope that if he really liked you after all this time he’d have at least opened the door to communication. The fact he hasn’t should say a lot to you, without chopping it up to ‘oh he’s shy’. Maybe it’s worth considering that you are misinterpreting his actions, and sure you can disagree, but then again, you don’t know him like that.

[Asker]

Yes i do get you! but i never really did look at him all i know it is when my friends tell me he is and the only time i did look when we did have an eye contact for a second and i just left it off I usually avoid looking at him at all but i just can't help it when its that obvious and makes a no deal of it nor showing an effort for it

[Asker]

And yes maybe i did misunderstood the whole statement and maybe its just the way he is but i expected more maybe he's not that type of a person who shows up to someone he may be interested in or maybe knowing that when one of his friends tried talking or”hitting up on me” and simply cuts it off by leaving and not bothered to reply to the question i was asked for is the thing that holds him back because he knows what happened at that time but this is us girls aren’t we? I think ignoring with whatever he is doing since he got nothing to show other than the stares and looks like god! I thought we are grown ups and more mature than that

[Opinion Owner]

I’ll be real with you, I think starting today you should stop acknowledging him and ask your friends to stop talking to you about him. This has gone on far longer than it should, and if I were you I’d be tired of trying to figure out what his actions mean. It hasn’t gotten you anywhere. It also doesn’t help to have your friends in on this, observing him and telling you each time he looks, like you’re all adults in college not teens navigating your first experiences in high school. You are getting older and need a man, someone who will approach if they are interested and not have you guessing what each thing means. He will be clear, prompt, and assertive. Set your sights on men who bring this energy to the table, not playing this little game of eye-tag. You say you expected more, but why? Because of the person you perceive him to be vs what you know? What if he’s not even who you hope he’d be? It’s so exhausting hun, you should focus on finishing school and not this guy. Because right now he is just the source of something fairly interesting, when there’s better men and hobbies out there.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for everything that you’ve said

[nonyabeez-wax]

Ngl, he's probably scared for two reasons.

1. He's trying to determine the right time. Us guys are REALLY bad at that.

2. He's probably also trying determine if your the type to absolutely ruin his life with a false accusation just because he had the audacity, to find you pretty. (Happens more than you know. :/ )

The best thing for you to do is make the first move, and be aggressive about it. Not hostile, but like you know what you want. Most men are turned on by that.

I know I wouldn't turn a pretty girl down if she approached me and in a serious manner, asked ME out.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he is really shy. You should make the first move.

[Billlewis]

The best way to find out is to ask him.

[Asker]

I just can't do it if its not coming from him

[In_Trance]

jesus... this is gnarly

[Asker]

I know right?