how do you tell who really need money and who dose not?
So I been dating this girl and on are first date we got wendy's then I got her tea and also some beer. then later that day I got her 6 tacos at taco bell she took some of them home to her family. Today she want me to buy her an air bed cause she was in the hospital for something. She said her dad would pay me back. I told her no. was this wrong of me cause she said her bed broke? maybe she need it. I told her I did not have any money to take her out for food today. She want to pay me back for the food I got her for the date and I think it like 30 to 40. Any way I do not care about this money cause it was a date and I told her that many time. Also she said that her dad would pay me back for the bed when he get his gambling money. I guss that how he make money is buy gambling. She also was mad cause I did not do anything with her today all we did was drive around. She want to get food today and or also have sex. I think she mad cause I have no money today I don't know.
any way I use to have this other girl who I was with that need money for her kids and cigarettes all the time. she also need a car. I mean this girl not the same way she take care of her kids and she get food stamps.
But I not sure how do you tell who really need money and who dose not? I do not want be selfish.
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It's difficult to tell who is sincere and honest about their financial needs and who is not. If you're unsure, it's best to tread carefully and be selective about who you offer your support to. Consider asking questions to better understand the situation and confirm that they have a genuine need before providing any assistance. Additionally, be mindful of your own limitations and set boundaries by determining how much help you can provide. Be sure that your generosity is not being taken advantage of or exploited.
Ok maybe I’m wrong here but you sound like a dude who lets women run all over him. You may say no here and there but just reading this makes me think so. I don’t think you’re wrong for not getting the bed. She’s an adult. Why doesn’t she have money? Why is she depending on her father to pay you back? Why does it sound like his only income or lack there of is from gambling? This doesn’t sound like they type of family I’d like to be in. Unless he’s a professional gambler like WSOP, no something doesn’t seem right w her family.
ok I don't know the other day she said she need money from him via cash app. I think she get ssi and food stamps. I not sure if she get any money for her kid. also you are a bit right but I am try to stand up for my self. The other girl did need the car but she all kinds of mess up.
I’m not sure just how much you can change at your age as far as not being like that. But recognizing that that’s what happens is important. Then trying to recognize where it came from. Would you say you’re a manly man, or sort of soft, more feminine? Unless that changes somehow chances are you will always meet women like this who will take advantage of you, they won’t respect you, they will run all over you, use you, maybe cheat, etc. For me after years I realized I was always drawn to women who needed a “hero.” Maybe had trouble paying bills, maybe a child, she was struggling, bad life growing up sometimes. Ayer years of finding women like that shit never worked out. Finally realized what I was drawn to and stoped it. Been w someone now for 14 years who yes isn’t completely “independent,” she still needs me for a lot of things as a man but nothing like what I went through before.
yes I need take care of my self more maybe just take her on date for now and let here finger her own way out. maybe try fine a girl who had no kids and just need someone to take her out on a date or fine someone who have a plain for there life and is going somewhere if life. I maybe a soft, man but I geting smarter all the time and stuff. also she right I have no money for say.
Then you need to focus on yourself right now. Most men don’t start accumulating wealth till they’re older. You have time. But yes I think you need to find someone who doesn’t come w a lot of baggage. What type of friends do you have? Similar to yourself or some masculine male friends?
lot of girl friends and older men friends like 50s and 60s and some on 20s and 30s. I stay buy my self most of the time. My girlfriend think it bad that I do not have a job and everything mess up. lot of saving and my roommate dose want me move out on my own cause I save money by staying. Also job hop a lot and get into trouble a lot with jail. I don't know how I going make it on my own.
So you’ve been in and out of jail? Doesn’t sound like you had a very stable foundation growing up.
I did I am just have a hard time being an adult. also fineing a job I like work and money.
Why do you think it’s so hard trying to be an adult? Did your parents protect you from everything? What we’re you in jail for?
trespassing calling 911 to much. maybe they did I fine it hard to keep a job and all jobs or nothing and to easy and to hard and I don't know why I am there other than money and I get mad and go off on people a lot. Also I worry about the future
So you have a lot of anxiety? Did you have a fully intact family growing up?
maybe social anxiety. yes I guss so.
Do you have any idea why you’re this way? It’s hard to say w out actually meeting you to see how you truly are in person.
I don't know I am nice sometime and sometime I go off on people I need fine my way and thing in life and try not get mad at people I need get some balls and stand up for my self and some how get money and a good job and a nice girl that dose not use me. for money or things. i need take care my self better and stop try to take care of other.
Sounds like you need to do a lot of work on yourself. Maybe your frustrations are due to possibly feeling like you’re a failure? So you take it out on others rather than looking at why you’re in this situation as far as what choices you made to bring you to where you’re at now.
yes feeling like a failure is one the worst thing. I do not want to be that way but I am. I want be somebody in life. I know everything my fault. I just need fix it. some of my frustrations are due to family and lack of emotional control and anger issues and lack of respect for authority
So any ideas right now on things you could do to fix your life?
I don't know try be less mean to people go to jail for what I did try fine a new job and stay there a bit try fine someone help me figure out life.
I don't know what else to do.
Sounds like a good start. I think just learning to contain your anger would be a big step. I think it’s necessary for a man to posses that anger, that “monster” that is sometimes necessary to have as a man. But at the same time learning to contain it is also part of that.
yes the inter hulk in me and also the negative self talk from the inter reverse flash in me that a part of me hate me.
Ever tried getting some professional help? I’m sure there’s a lot you can do to help curb some of this.
yes they told me try not to get upset and try walk away
Father have anger issues?
maybe a bit he use get super mad and hit me when I was young.
Trying to understand the timeline. When was the first date? If recently, I would definitely conclude she is trying to mooch off you - my dad will pay you when he gets his gambling money? Really?
the date was like the 7/12 of this year. ya it to much to fast. I don't know why she care to pay me back for the date date should be free for women.