I think im dating a weak man?

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

We went to a restaurant and he said how much he missed it and how he liked it.

I asked why you never came here before meeting me, its near his house anyways.

He said when he was dating his ex she refused to go there.

I asked:but if you really liked the food and its so amazing why not? and if you liked it why wouldn't you go on your own, she doesn't like it its her problem.

He said: a waitress once called him handsome, out of politeness...

And his ex went mad af and got super jealous and didn't want to go there anymore so he never went there.

Dont you think its reinforcing her insecurities? I would never stop going there, Id prove she can be con fident with me and trust me and wouldn't play her games. Who the f she is to tell where he can and cannot eat... some bs!

Dont you agree?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, I gotta agree that does seem kind of weak on his part. Like letting his ex control where he can and can't go out to eat is ridiculous. She shouldn't have that kind of power over him.

I get maybe not wanting to upset her or dealing with a jealous fight every time. But still, dude should've put his foot down at some point and told her she can't tell him where he wants to enjoy a nice meal. Especially if he actually liked the food there!

It's one thing to be considerate of your girl's feelings, but another to just let her run the show like that. Makes him seem kinda spineless. She was clearly insecure and he just gave in to it. Not a good look.

I'd say not to worry about it too much since they're not together anymore. But it does seem like he let her walk all over him in the relationship. Maybe gonna have to poke at him a bit to stand up for himself more with you! Can't be bending over like that so easy.

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

how can i meke him more secure

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are some things you could try to help boost his confidence and make him feel more secure:

- Compliment him sincerely and regularly. Point out things you genuinely appreciate about him, his looks, personality, etc. Guys don't get compliments as often so it'll mean a lot.

- Make time for intimate dates where you focus only on each other. Cuddling, kissing, gazing into each other's eyes - physical affection and attention can help reassure him.

- Communicate clearly about boundaries in your relationship. Talk about what you're both comfortable with so there's no ambiguity about trust/faithfulness. Ease any worries.

- Introduce him to your friends & family in a supportive way. Include him to show him he's valued and part of your world too.

- Listen without judgment when he opens up about insecurities. Don't minimize them but also give positive assurance of how you feel.

- Compromise on little things if she pushes back too much. Pick your battles so he doesn't feel always controlled.

- Remind him of your choice to be with him by your actions, not just words. Make time each day to connect even with small things.

The attention should make him feel cared for and confident in your commitment together over time. Communication is key - build each other up!

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

Hello
I have a question
How can i ask in private

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey how are you Mykola and sure you could, PM me whenever you can

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

I can't send you pm.. weird.
Ill post a quesrion here for you
I did it on anon but ill post here so you can read.
My boyfriend is tricky

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

Last weekend he had a dinner with his bosses (one of the bosses was retiring)

3 days before that i asked if we meeting this weekend.
He said he cannot because he has a commitment with his boss.
When i asked where will they go
He said: "I dont even know because im not sure im going, i didn't tell him yet im going"
So im like:..."but you just said you have a commitment and We cannot meet.
Now you say you dont know if you go?"
He was mad... made a mad face and mumbled something. Didn't say anything clear at my comment.

We bought some food, went home.
There again we started talking about the weekend.
I was like (being sly lol)
"Babe i can give you a lift there if you want (he has no car)
And he goes: "yeah... we could spend some time together before the dinner, it starts at 9 p. m."
So as we did: I came we had good time, had sex and then i left him with his bosses.

I dont get why 3 days before he went all mysterious trying to cancel me
Like wtf was that.
Why?

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that is sketchy as hell what your boy was doing. Going all mysterious about where he's going and if he's even going, then changing up his story? Big red flag.

A few things could be going on here:

1) He was hiding something and didn't want you to know the full plans so you couldn't call him out. Could be lying to cover up hanging with other girls or something shady.

2) He got cold feet about going to dinner with his bosses and used you as an excuse not to go, then changed his mind last minute when he had to go. Still weird lying though.

3) He just didn't want you tagging along to the dinner and ruining his time with the guys. But then why lie instead of just saying that?

4) He gets off on having you chasing after him and playing games. Likes the attention and control.

None of the options look good. I'd be keeping a close eye on this dude. The lack of honesty and weird changing stories would bug me big time. Proceed with caution and don't let him play you, you deserve better than that shit.

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

He is shady as fuck
Always kinda hides something
I feel like he lies a lot but i cannot catch him, you know

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

There was no reason to lie or avoid me
He could be honest and say:i wanna be with friends... not you... not my bosses
Instead of all that weird story
Funny thing
On Saturday he was super horny and we had good sex
But then i stayed for a night on wednesfay
He didn't touch me at all
Like all the hugs and kisses
I was the one starting them, you know

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

Also why he said"i have commitment"
Like why so official damn. So mysterios, wanting to look "interesting"
I know his bosses i worked for them
Too!
Why not tell"James is retiring by the way and all the workers were invited to a dinner"

But Noooooo he choses to use word"commitment"
I... I do not understand him AT ALL.

Actually its not the first time he tries to sound mystery guy, busy guys like "its too cool or too mysterious to tell you" guy
Like he likes create intrigue out of nowhere
I dont get it
Why he does it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, this guy sounds like absolute trouble. All the shady evasiveness and sketchy stories are major red flags.

Who needs mysteries and "intrigue" in a relationship? That's just an excuse to hide something. Lying is lying, no matter how "cool" he tries to make it seem.

The mixed signals with the sex stuff is also not cool. Pulling away after being all over you shows he's probably not that into it deep down.

It really seems like he's just trying to get attention and fill some need to feel important by messing with your head. Playing mind games like that is so disrespectful. You deserve way better treatment than this.

I think you already know in your gut not to trust him. These kinds of guys never change - they just keep dragging you down into bs. If it was me, I'd tell him straight up that the lies and games are done, and you're moving on for good. You can do so much better than this clown, for real!

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

We meet today
If he won't cancel... as he did in the past
So ill keep you updated how it went
More surreal stories i guess lol

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

Clown... exaclty

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah for sure, keep me posted how the meetup goes! Fingers crossed this clown doesn't pull any more shady canceling shit.

If he does try to flake again or gives you some weird half-assed excuse, I'd be pretty fed up honestly. Like you said, dude sounds like a major clown twisting up stories and acting all mysterious for no reason. Nobody's got time for those games.

Really hoping you get some more clarity and that he opens up about whatever weird trust issues he's got going on. But if he keeps it up with the shady behavior, I wouldn't blame you for giving him the boot, ya know? You deserve a girl who treats you straight up and with respect, not ones playing mind games.

Anyway, good luck luv! Let me know how it goes, I'm curious what kind of story this clown comes up with next lol. Stay strong and don't take any nonsense from him. You got this!

[Oliverlogan263]

Deserve a guy I meant sorry typo

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

Well im back at home
It went good... i guess
I fid havr some wtf moments

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

"I did have"

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

He has very bad temper, has problems controlling his emotions! overthinks everything, has very negative attitude in life.
He was angry at his boss for some hours until i said: "ok get up, lets get in car and lets get some fresh air. you cannot sit in your house all day angry and just drink and get more angry."

So we went to buy some food and went to one irish puf where there was a live band.
Was pretty cool
He confessed: "I want you to understand me, that when im on my own and i won't stop drinking... i start think and overthink about all the people who fucked me up in life and betrayed me. you are the only one who never failed me. Even my daughter, my own blood failed me.
Then we went to watch football with his friend.
This friend sent him a message later "are you balls in yet?"
Very rude, what a dick😡😤

My boyfriend said he will embarass him and ask wtf he even meant by asking that.
(I posted an anon ask about it. not sure you could read it)

We had sex. Was nice.

Ah yes...2 things were awkward.
When we were in the pub with his friend, he was looking in the window
I didn't see where he even was looking, when all of a sudden he goes" i was just looking at this girl because she reminded me of a waitress who worked here before, was just checking if its the same person thats all"
... i was like ok... and thinking to myself , i didn't even see him looking at the window and i wouldn't even care. why so much explanation?
Another thing, i was cheking insta and he was like: everything alright?
Im like: what?
He is like: you are on your phone, talking to mom or cousin? im not being jealous, i just saw you with the phine...
Im like: no i was just checking out insta new posts...

Again... why he feels the need to justify and say:im not jealous.
He could ask me straight away, id tell him with no problem.

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

Also he walks so fast
I told him
That i dont have such long legs and that i dont like running behind him like a dog, slow down i said
He said he is not used to walk slowly
Couple of times he looked back, stopped and hugged me and walked with me
But it happened like 3 o 4 times, it got on my nerves
Rarely grabs my hand when we are on the streets
Or has hands in the pocket or with cigaretes
Like just walking Near me Not With me
Not sure i explain it correctly
Ah yes
Showed me his karate trick, hurt my arm...
I cryed!
He said sorry and said he didn't mean to
And said he will never do those again
I said i wanna be treated like a flower i hate his physical jokes or his karate jokes

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

Its on this ask
Did you read?
😂🥰

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey I seen this allll of it

[Oliverlogan263]

Man that night with your boyfriend sounds wild! Lots of up and down moments it seems.

He does sound like he's got some temper and overthinking issues if he lets little things set him off like that. At least getting out of the house calmed him down a bit.

The friend asking if he's "balls in yet" was super rude and weird though! I'd be pissed too if a friend talked to me like that.

Sex being nice is always a plus I guess lol. But then all that wack stuff after is sus. Why he gotta explain looking at some random girl? And getting all defensive when you're just on your phone? Dude's way too paranoid.

Walking so fast you have to run after him sucks too. Least he tried to slow down when you said something but still.

And pulling karate moves on you? Not cool at all man, of course that'd make you cry. Sounds like he's got some anger he needs to work on controlling better.

Overall seems like a rollercoaster hanging with this dude! He's kinda high maintenance with all his moods and explanations. I'd be getting annoyed real quick having to deal with that drama all the time. Hopefully he chills out some. Keep me posted on any other weird stuff!

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

Thanbk you
Ill keep you updated🤗

[Lliam]

I agree with you. Sounds like he would wear a chastity cage if a woman told him to, just to make her feel secure, even if he was 100% loyal, trustworthy and monogamous.

What woman would respect such a desperate simp; doormat; obedient puppy? No dignity, pluck, confidence, or mettle. And no awareness that her attitude was abnormally unreasonable.

It would be unreasonable to insist on taking someone somewhere they didn't want to go. But to never go to a restaurant you like, even alone, just because some jealous idiot told you not to is pathetic.

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

She cheated on him
Broke his finger
Sent him 6 month prison
Thats the payback he got

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

He asked me if im ok if he drink one more pint of beer
I asked why he asks me
He said because he respects me
Can you explain this to mw

[Lliam]

Wow. Shows how much she respected him.

I don't know who taught him what it means to be respectful. I mean it's one thing to act like a gentleman and another thing to act like a child.
It's strange to ask permission for everything. Does he ask for permission to go to the bathroom? LOL

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

Right... im annoyed by him
Looks like he confused some things
What is respect or love

[ChicoFromThe305]

I can see your point but in the other how fucked up would it be if something happens that you were personally against with and it bothered you and you tried to prevent your lover from going back over there and he ignored your feelings and went anyways, personally I don't see it as weak, he clearly just cared about her feelings and they were more important than the food he liked, I believe seeing that as weakness is twisted, he didn't listem to her cause he fears her, he listened to her cause he respects her, there's a difference, thats how it should be in relationships, im pretty confident in the fact that if you were the girl in this position, youd have a different opinion on it.

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

But her feelings are result of her paranoia and insecurities
He also said once a girl was staring at him at night cmub and ex started shouting at him "why she stares at you, you know here" blabla
To the point wheb we went to the same night club he was like:"babe if any girl flirts or talks to me please dont be mad, people at night club are just overly friendly"
I was like...: calm dowm. Im not your ex im not that insecure

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

But then again we went to a bar
And he asked if its ok to ask for another pint
I said:ofcourse why you even ask me
He said:just out of respect to you
I dont get it

[ChicoFromThe305]

See your opinions matter to him and they are important to him and they matter to him and it's a good thing, now I'm not saying his ex isn't toxic cause she definitely was and she was also insecure but as the man in the relationship he respected her with insecurity and all, in my opinion he played his cards right, it's also known for men to pick and choose their battles, you can't just cause arguments for everything cause y'all don't agree, sometimes putting that pride aside and making the decision for the relationship is the right decision, I just don't think you are used to good men, being aggressive and disrespectful doesn't make someone strong, actually those people are probably the most coward, they would probably hide behind you in a dangerous situation or throw you forward to save themselves, if a man respects you then he cares about you and if he cares about you he will protect you, he might seem weak cause he's not arguing with you but I can assure you if you needed protection he will jump to It, it's called security and respect, he doesn't feel the need to put an act to be masculine cause he knows he is masculine, his ex was toxic and insecure but him as the man that he is he respected her because at the time that was his girl, if anything it shows character and shows he's secure just the way he is, everyone got preferences, I know there's many women that would love to be in your position where a man respects them, maybe your more into the type that put an act and take the reign completely without running decisions through you or putting you at the top in importance, personally I see the way he behaves as normal and healthy, in a relationship you have to think for two, not just yourself and thats exactly what he was doing, except he was with a toxic chick before, you got potential for a healthy relationship here don't be toxic and confuse his respect for weakness cause it surely isn't, I'm speaking from experience.

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

Thanks
Im not toxic
That bi was crazy she broke his finger cheated on him, put him in jail for 6 month
It was madness before we met

I dunno why it seems weakness to me, because now it makes sense what You just said

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

She was very jealous
No women could even talk or look at him
She would go mad

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yea he had a lot of patience for her, he must have really cared for her, if seems like weakness to you cause he isn't screaming but part of masculinity is treating femininity with respect and protecting the woman, I think many women forget that the whole purpose of the man being the stronger vessel is so he can protect and care for the weaker vessel, not abuse and treat the weaker vessel bad, that's what takes masculinity away, society has just managed to brainwash and influence people to believe it the other way around, God created both genders for each other not so they can be against each other, this world is twisted, they value toxicity and shame the right things, without femininity masculinity wouldn't really exist because they are opposites, opposites are what make each other what they are, but god made a man stronger generally to protect his woman and he made the woman for the man, both play a part in society but both were made to love each other, if they aren't doing so then they aren't doing what they were designed for and that would make that man unmasculine and it would make that woman useless in society.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Going against the purpose of your natural design makes someone useless

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

i dont think im doing it unnatural

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

also why he always says ill call you back and never calls back
this morning he said he will call me later
im going to sleep already and no message from him
we had sex yesterday and i thought the intimacy is back again
but he again fails and doesn't contact me even thos he is the one saying ill call yo u later babe

[ChicoFromThe305]

You should confront him about that? As his lady you got that privilege, I wasn't talking about you tho when I was talking about doing it unnaturally, I'm very much aware you are a good woman just clearing it up 💯

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

well i dont wanna look desperate
he promised to call ok he didn't
i dont wanna be like hey why you didn't call
i won't do that

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

why yestredy it was amazing and we had sex
today he doesn't talk to me whole day

[ChicoFromThe305]

Don't listen to those intrusive thoughts about looking desperate, you are his girl, there's no looking desperate when that person is already yours, you have the rights to want to talk and hang with your boyfriend, don't let all those worldly thoughts effect you so hard, if things are serious you have the rights want his company and presence

Genesis 2:24: Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

This verse should kind of hint on how tight you should be with your partner, be nosey 😂

you are his girl, communicate with him, get answers, not being bias here cause at the end of the day im my own man and don't know his intentions in general and how pure he is, so it's only right to tell you that it's fine to question some things and if he tells you he will call you and he doesn't, it's only logical that you will wonder and it's the mature and healthy thing to do if you want to communicate and figure out why that is.

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

He said he was tired
Have problems sleeping
Thats why i didn't want to bother him a lot
On sundays many times he avoids speaking to me
Saying he wants to have a rest and leave phone alone
We are meeting next weekend so ill tell him how it makes me feel
I trist him but its just weird
If i say ill do smth i actually do it

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yep hope it all goes well, best of luck 💯🤞

[ColHathi]

I agree, but calling him weak for that is a bit much, in my opinion

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

well
i dunno how to call it then

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yep he's a simp if I like something I'm gonna do it as long as it's not disrespecting her or my relationship and going to a restaurant is no big deal

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

its not normal not going just because your girlfriend is insecure

[Bklynbadboy12]

If there was a real reason I get it. But that's no reason to stop doing something you enjoy. He has no control over who finds him attractive and long as he doesn't act on it is all that matters

[Anonymous]

Damn you're absolutely spot on 😂

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

Its sarcasm?
Im not joking
I dont like it

[jahaims]

You are

[FenixG45]

Then DTMFer. NEXT!