I mean what about a woman who has been your friend and who has been loyal to you for several years. Wouldn't it be hard to avoid catching feelings for her? Are you really able to switch that part of your brain off? I thought love was something a person couldn't control.
An erection always comes first with romantic love. Whilst you love your female friend it is going to be more like loving your sister. MOST of the time.
Except it did go that way one time. We'd both got jaded with clubbing and started talking more. Then it was why are in the club still? Lets branch out to a cafe instead. So we started going out as ersatz boyfriend/girlfriend but we both sort of thought a real boyfriend/girlfriend would be nice.
There was a point where she thought "Actually, you aren't too bad" and I thought the same. With that puff of the magic wand there were erections and romantic love.
I'm good at blocking it if I want to. So if this was my intent i'd be good at doing it. I'm definitely not done with it though haha. Longing for that moment I find the right girl to have that mutual love and commitment back in my life.
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When guys are done pursuing love, it's generally a result of deep hurt. It's not that they don't want a relationship, but they have become extremely cautious. They stop gambling as easily as they used to.
If you care about someone who has been deeply hurt, let him know you want to be respectful of his sensitivities, so you'd like to understand the types of experiences he's had that have led to such pain. Don't seek details, as details can get in the way of anything that might develop between the two of you. Let him know you're just interested in the types of experiences and how they impacted him.
Once you have this knowledge, be very considerate in all his sensitive areas. Don't push anything, but consistently be there for him... as a supportive, caring, unconditional friend. Help him to face his fears very slowly, and don't make it about you. Show him (not just tell him) he'll always be safe with you. Let him know you want him to share whenever your choices impact him negatively, so you can become more aware and respectful of him.
This isn't all about him, and it's not all about you. Make it a positive learning experience for both of you. Don't allow yourself to be used. Understand, if you feel hurt, it's not about what others did to hurt you, but about you seeing what you want to see and setting up unrealistic expectations of others. For the most part, we can blame ourselves when we feel hurt, as we saw what we wanted to see and ignored the person's true pattern.
Yes. And it's mainly because you gender is so uninvolved in the process. Most women are going to get hit on whether they're dressed to the 9's or dressed like a pile of dog s***. Guys won't get hit on either way.😆 So it's easy to shut that part of your brain off when you're the only one participating.
As far as falling in love. Unexperienced guys are idealists generally. They believe in love. As they get older and deal with more women and thier antics they realize most of it is 90% games with women. She doesn't want you, she wants your attention. And even after she has your attention she fine with seeking other men's attention as well. So after a while men learn to discern which women have actual interest in him and which ones are just looking for attention. Because a woman who wants to know a man WILL make effort. And sustained effort. Not a one shot deal.
Women have a hard time controlling this. Especially overdramatic women. Guys learn to control thier emotions women generally do not. That's why guys can do this. We rationalize things. Women don't! Women feed thier emotions. Because they like riding them highs. Guys KNOW better generally speaking.
When a guy says those words , he is just saying he is done having his heart shit on by girls’ it doesn’t mean he gave up on love , he just gave up on trying to find love , and gave up on chasing after a girl , he more than likely has a lot of walls protecting his heart from being backstabbed and betrayed and lied to again. I am this guy , I gave my heart to girls through the years , thinking her and I would fall in love and be together for the long haul , trusting her and caring about her , making her My top priority , to find out she is spreading her legs to someone else behind my back , being cheated on fucks you up in a lot of ways and changes your outlook on trust and loyalty, for me to be able to give my heart completely to a girl again she sadly has some walls to climb to pretty much prove to me she isn’t a cheater
Yes, people can close themselves off from love especially in unstable societies like ours. If you are worried that this might be the case with a guy you like, simply talk with him about it. If he doesn’t want a relationship then you need to respect that. If he sees you are not playing games he might change his mind. Whatever the situation, I believe in openness and being clear about intentions when it comes to relationships.
That for example, is just something guys says. Unlike an oath or covenant which a person tries hard to keep.
Owing to past experiences people tend to make such statements but just like you said, a woman with whom they've been friends for years and who's been good to them it's most likely they'll develop an attraction or likeness which if further nurtured can make them fall in love again.
u Guys who say they are done with chasing after women are butthurt boys who would rather blame women than take responsibility for their failures in dating, and they would prefer to stay home and jerk off on Friday and Saturday night rather than have a date and take a chance on love.
So, you have the hots for your friend but he is not approaching you?
I really did give up on dating. I broke up with a long term girlfriend and had very hard feelings about it and then I had a series of bad relationships. I went to a concert with a girl and decided I was done with dating maybe forever. Ironically I met my future wife the very next day.
You can't avoid the feeling of falling for someone, you either feel something for them or you don't. The difference for guys like us is we don't pursue, we're done with the "game" of relationships after being burned one too many times. Too much BS.
u well, some of them make very sure sure that they won't be loved... lol
If I've already established friendship feelings then I don't expect that to change.
It's NOT that I'M avoiding IT, IT'S avoiding ME so, what's the point in bothering to try anymore?
Isn't that what y'all have been telling us to do? To stop catching feelings for our female friends? I'm so confused 😕
No you cannot avoid falling in love, you can be good at suppressing your feelings for someone but it is not the same as not having them.
Because I don’t pursue love doesn’t mean I don’t want love. I just wait for it to come my way.
love is just a feelin the most important part of makin long-term romantic partnerships work is loyalty
I can't avoid it. It has total power over me.
I don't know what love is
I don't think you can control it.
They are seriously gay.
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