I've been told men don't stare at women they like, true or not?

[Monalisa77]

Staring doesn't exist to them from a mans pov

Yes

No

[CaptainOverthink]

- Inexperienced men litteraly stare in awe.
- Most men glance a lot, some not very subtle.
- Some too subtle.

Ofc, there are versions of these that can be done in charming ways, though that's a very intuatively fine line to walk. It takes either experience and/or fine-tuned natural instincts.

I, myself, don't stare anymore, I still glance a lot, though hopefully subtly.
It should be said though that I and many others (girls included), are observant types of people, looking at people don't necessarily indicate sexual interest.
It could be:
- Common awareness of people.
- Looking past behind you.
- A notion of catching eyes from others, even in the perpherie can cause one to direct their attention towards them and if eye-contact happens, they might keep an eye on them, neutrally, threat-assessment or out of peaked interests.

[Monalisa77]

Yeah i always check if it could be something else

[RingOfFire]

Men WANT to stare at women they are attracted to. It is in their DNA, it is a natural instinct. BUT they fight the urge because they don't want to be accused of being "creeps" or "perverts" or "sexual harassers," etc.

The only way I can see that a man does not stare at a woman he is really attracted to is either the above or because he doesn't want to offend or scare her by staring or because he is too shy and doesn't want her to know how interested he is.

But if a guy isn't staring it doesn't tell you anything because it could also mean he doesn't find you attractive.

[RingOfFire]

[Monalisa77]

Well the last guy who stared at me /touched me is a dr and my mum thinks what he did was wrong

[RingOfFire]

If someone touches you inappropriately that's an entirely different thing than staring at you.

[Monalisa77]

He stroked my hand, but my mum thinks touching my hand is inappropriately

[Monalisa77]

The stroking happened one time, then a month later he was staring etc. I dont expect men to be interested in me so i was left in shock/nervous. I dont think he planned to do it, it happened fairly natural

[Monalisa77]

Ie i didn't tell my mum about the stroking, i just feel its too personal to tell her that

[RingOfFire]

It's impossible to say whether that was inappropriate or not. Stroking a hand can be a gesture of comfort to calm you down or it can be inappropriate. In some cultures something can be appropriate and in others not. Inappropriate is a matter of opinion. If someone's behavior upsets you then it may be inappropriate in your opinion but may not be in someone else's opinion. So who knows. But if you weren't upset about it at the time it happens then who cares? I don't think it's sensible to let your mother make you upset about something if it wasn't upsetting to you when it happened.

[RingOfFire]

I would say that if it worries you, find another doctor. You don't want to have a doctor that makes you nervous.

[Monalisa77]

We play cards and hed beaten me pretty cruelly. So i did think it was some kind of comfort, which is y i didn't expect anything further to happen.. he's a dr and i read he likes to help people which showed when he helped setting the chairs etc up, I've got a lot of issues so maybe there might be men out there who genuinely feel attraction to someone tbey could help, I don't know if thats aa thing

[Monalisa77]

he's not my dr, i go to play cards and we met in April, he's only been 4 times

[Monalisa77]

**im. Tired i forget what i say

[Monalisa77]

No the stroking made me happy as larry lol but the staring made me nervous/wary

[RingOfFire]

Sorry, I totally misunderstood what you were talking about. When you see this guy are there other people around? You may want to make sure there are if it makes you nervous. It's hard to tell if you are saying that you are interested in this guy or not. Sounds like you are but feel nervous about it. That could be perfectly normal.

[Monalisa77]

The first staring was when i ebtered the room and i sat beside my cousin who happens. Ro be his (were not directly relared) and we was sat at the wall, je was walking by to get the xhaira and he turned back rouns to look, he said hello again and i made him laugh then he put his hands together pointing to me n was doing something weird with his mouth open/eye contact, then at the end he was stood beside me tidying up n didn't move an inch or blink whilst staring. He isn't the same with others he laughs n jokes/smiley with them, he's fridnds with another girl n there's a gap between them when they talk and it doesn't look like he's flirting, he didn't make an effort to come and talk to me which is why i was wary. I always xhexk if there the same with me or with others

[Monalisa77]

Sorry about the typos im hungry n tired😂

[RingOfFire]

That's okay... maybe you should get some sleep. I read your profile and you sound like a nice person who has a lot of anxiety. The one piece I am missing in what you are telling me is what your feelings are about him. Is he someone you have an interest in on a more formal basis than you have now? Or is he someone you can't see having a more serious relationship with under any circumstances? Or is he just a casual friend and you want to keep it that way. You sound a bit confused about this and that's okay. Sounds like you don't have a lot of experience with guys dating and deeper relationships. If so that's okay. Just relax and see what happens. If you overthink it, it never works out right. Maybe just try to let whatever happens happen... let it be organic. If you need to sleep now, that's okay. 🙂

[Monalisa77]

its 6pm here and were going to the pub in a bit lol my mum put the washing machine on last night which meant i couldnt sleep due to the noise and i scratched my arm coming down to turn it off. at the time of flirting i was sleeping well etc its only been since November that I've been sick

i wasn't sure if i liked him at the time or it was the attention i liked, but he didn't come in October or November and i was gutted and im constantly thinking about it. he's not my usual type that i look for but I've come to find men with glasses rather attractive lately lol (he wears them) plus he seems genuinely nice guy. i talked to my cousin whos known him since birth and didn't think he would do anything bad to me on purpose, she said it didn't sound like him

i dont get the chance to go out to meet people and find it hard to make friends, so i find it hard to move on and forget about someone who seems so interested, esp when there's a chance ill see him again. he might not even be there on Friday cos its just a charity one

[Monalisa77]

i dont expect men to be interested in me so i never go for anything if i dont get anything from them first. i like people who make me smile and laugh which he hasn't done (apart from the initial stroking, but that could have just been cos i liked that lol) i did notice him when we first met and thought he was ok looking but since he was a dr i never thought hed even look twice at me, it did take a bit of a turn hence y i was in shock/confused lol

[Monalisa77]

id always be open to a date to someone i find attractive/if theyre genuine. but we'd have to see if it would go further than that

[RingOfFire]

I like your way of thinking. You seem very genuine yourself and that's really nice to see. You don't need my advice but I can't help thinking that you shouldn't let loneliness make you settle for someone who doesn't have what you need in a partner. Better to wait until everything feels right. Could that happen with this guy? Maybe. But it may not be a good idea to let your life revolve around that possibility. Just live it to the fullest extent you can and leave things like that up to fate!

I wish you happiness. :D

[RingOfFire]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiWomXklfv8

[Monalisa77]

yeah im defo not settling lol

[Monalisa77]

Y is his brother page gone awol i can't see his posts or stories (0 on my mums phone too) but he's seen my stories and his mate is now on and stopped after i put the pic of me out last night

[hahahmm]

Guys usually don't stare if they think you will notice them staring. Women can use staring to send a signal to a guy but a guy ---- at least when I was younger -- would just go talk to her. Now with metoo stuff... if I was a young guy I would never even look at a woman. I would just pretend 99.999% of them don't exist.

[MrOracle]

SOME guys won't stare, even if they want to, because they are able to control themselves and they have some manners and decorum. Some guys won't stare because they are incredibly shy and are afraid to get caught. And some guys absolutely stare and may not even be aware that they are doing so. Finally, some guys stare with confidence and hope the girl sees him staring and smiling and smiles back.

So, that statement is wrong overall, but is true in some circumstances and false in others.

[BobbieBoy666]

There's right way to stare. 💞

[Anonymous]

We stare at women we find attractive. It doesn't necessarily mean he likes you as a person, it just means you're nice to look at.

[DarkWinterNights]

I try not to stare at anyone. Especially attractive women.

[Yannae]

Who told you that?

Staring, some guys do that. They can't help it.

[Monalisa77]

My brother

[Yannae]

He'd be surprised how many still stare. It's pretty uncomfortable.

[Monalisa77]

Exactly, my mum also said they don't make it so obvious but they probably don't know we can see

[HAAAAAAAAAAAAA]

uhh no

if we like her we'll stare a lot more..

[ThrillSeeker01]

I think most people are at least tempted to stare, even if they don't (to be polite)

[Anonymous]

That's very false.

[pickles77]

Not true