I’ve never been one to even encounter the idea of seeing a married man. Then I met “him” at my new job. At first it was just hi and bye. Then we got to know each other more, we had lots in common and connected in a way I hadn’t connected with anyone before. I actually found myself having feelings for him. Things were very platonic with just having lunch and talking about our nerdy hobbies with each other. Fast forward, we both ended up parting ways with the company. He still wanted to see me and said he missed me. Every week he drives 30mins to meet me somewhere for lunch. I see him as my best friend. When I was sick with pneumonia he called/texted everyday to see how I was doing. He’s given me large sums of money when I most needed it. We’ve never kissed, or done anything physical, it remains with hugs or him placing his head on my shoulder while we’re eating lunch. This has gone on for a year. He told me he loves me to pieces. He calls me 3 times a day to see how I’m doing, texts me all day and will FaceTime me during lunch if he starts to miss me on the days we are too busy to meet for lunch. He always tells me he loves me to pieces. We once went an entire month not seeing each other when he tore his Achilles, when we finally saw each other he almost bursted out in tears hugging me.
One day I asked him, if circumstances were different, would you have chosen me to share a life with?
He got upset and immediately jumped to the thought that I was telling him to leave his kids and family. I never said that, all I asked was a hypothetical question. I would never want him to leave his kids, which is why I would never go down that road of physical stuff with him. I tried to explain myself and what I meant, he yelled at me. It hurt very much.
I’m very confused right now. Emotionally, he treats me like a girlfriend he deeply cares for. But lashed out when I asked a simple question. I want to understand, but don’t.
Can someone help give insight to what the deal is here?
One day I asked him, if circumstances were different, would you have chosen me to share a life with?
He got upset and immediately jumped to the thought that I was telling him to leave his kids and family. I never said that, all I asked was a hypothetical question. I would never want him to leave his kids, which is why I would never go down that road of physical stuff with him. I tried to explain myself and what I meant, he yelled at me. It hurt very much.
I’m very confused right now. Emotionally, he treats me like a girlfriend he deeply cares for. But lashed out when I asked a simple question. I want to understand, but don’t.
Can someone help give insight to what the deal is here?
Updates
3 mo
He also gave me his sweater that smelled like him. He said to bring me comfort when I’m watching our favorite tv show and he can’t be there.
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