I was joking around with a male friend of mine. I called him Pink Panther and he said that name doesn't fit to him because he is not cute (He likes to put himself down as jokes a lot or just self-insulting himself). I then told him that he sometimes do be cute.
He then playfully (in like a softer, baby like manner? Idefk) said that I shouldn't say that because it will affect his sense of self-esteem. What does he mean by that? He didn't say it in a rejecting way but more in a shy-ish / flustered way.
What Guys Said
Self-deprecating humor. Yeah so he probably has low self-esteem. He'll make jokes like that, but I bet you both his own and particularly others jokes that are at his expense still hurts him, even though he's joking and laughing it off as jokes. He could probably use some compliments or reminders that he's not really what he or anyone else might make him out to be, or that everyone maybe including yourself also has similar flaws.
As for the cute thing, I can't tell if he took that as a compliment and thought of it as a sort of "Don't do that. Don't give me hope." kind of thing, or if he's concerned about his ego becoming too inflated (Doubt that), or if maybe he's concerned that you were lying or just saying things? Or maybe he was trying to see if you really meant it. Could also be that he doesn't really see it as a positive thing to be a man and being called "cute" when maybe he wasn't trying to be "cute". You know, as a sort of emasculating thing. I mean it depends on what he thinks you intended to say with that. If he makes a joke and expected a laugh, and you instead tell him that that's cute or he's cute, it could sound dismissive and belittling.
Thank you for you answer and your time < 3 He is very bad at accepting compliments. I told him he is good looking and all before and what a nice person he is. He barely got any compliments in his entire life, so he says it's weird because he is not very used to it and it makes him feel a little lost / awkward. So it's really hard to say wether cute confused him in a way of 'Don't give me hope' or 'You are just saying this to be nice don't' or if he thinks being cute is belittling. I made a joke after saying 'oh excuse me not cute, BIG STRONK MAN' and he dismissed that and was like 'nah not that' but he NEVER explains himself and I sometimes don't wanna be too pushy and ask ya feel me
Yeah I get it. I used to be a lot like that. I've had to learn to take and give compliments more, and explain my thoughts and feelings, lmao. It's rough. You could encourage him to do that? If not for himself, then for you.
He was making a joke at his own expense
Okey