I like this guy how do I shift this conversation? I can’t tell if he likes me but he’s the white messages I’m the grey?

[Anonymous]

He messaged me first. I’ve been in an abusive relationship so I’m just trying to get to know the guy first but I also don’t want our conversations to be bland and I think that’s cause of me lol but what could I say next to this dude. I suck at this! I’m definitely feeling him though he’s cute!

Updates

1 y

Thought the guy had a girlfriend at first but I was looking at an old fb

Updates

1 y

Think so? Yea I’m in the U. S and he’s in Canada 🇨🇦 so I don't know what to do but he I boxed me first lmao I don't know if asking why he messaged me is a bad idea or not but I think he’s cute and I don't know what to do

[HollyK21]

Not trying to call you out or anything, so I hope you don’t take it that way. But I chatted with you about this yesterday and you said he had a girlfriend, so you didn’t want to engage too much and that made sense. What changed?

[Asker]

Realized it wasn’t his girlfriend

[Asker]

Then felt stupid afterwards lol

[Asker]

So trying to just figure out how to keep the conversation going but I don't know how I didn’t realize being abused by someone could make me feel like I can’t have a decent convo

[Asker]

Well hold one has never happened before but I also haven’t talk to men in 7years really cause I was in a relationship

[HollyK21]

Ohhh okay, that makes sense☺️ well in regards to carrying the conversation, maybe arranging to meet up is something to consider. I don't know if you two are old friends or anything, but you seem familiar enough to invite him out for a drink or something and catch up in person. I used to put a lot of energy behind text convos until my current boyfriend, we really only check in throughout the work day then see each other once we are off and spend our free time together. I think there’s a lot more value in face to face conversations. If the guy you’re interested in is long distance or not close enough to meet, I’m not sure if that’s a situation you’d want anyway. But regardless, don’t put too much weight on the texting. If you don’t have a topic, there’s no need to fish for one just for the sake of talking. Like I was saying yesterday, he’s not really helping to engage or carry the conversation, which is sort of silly since he initiated it. But if it’s dying out, then let him pick up the torch. This is a great time to establish mutual effort.

[Asker]

Sorry my response posted as an update

[HollyK21]

No worries lol and Canada? Looks aside, are you sure you want to open the door to something so long distance in another country? There are handsome men all over the place here..

[Asker]

I don't know it’s the first time I ever found a dude that’s like the male version of me lol so it’s like I’m kinda drawn to everything we have in common but I don't know why it’s so hard to talk to the guy I think maybe my fault for shifting it all about his career I don't know.. I was gonna tell him about what I went through and how it feels hard to talk to him but I don't know if that would push the guy away

[HollyK21]

I wouldn’t dive into your past because as of now your conversation (at least given what is posted) seems pretty friendly. I think that’s why I thought he was an old friend before lol. But anyway, just be mindful as you pursue that. I get finding a guy you feel that chemistry with, but that sort of long distance would be really hard to navigate, for several reasons. Not much has happened as of now so it’s never too late to back out. Like you said, it’s been 7 years you’ve been in a relationship and less time out of one, so how much time have you really had to meet a man who is similar to you?

[Guy13]

Cute wins... see if you can wear him down until he submits. I am confident that you will be successful in that endeavor !!

[Asker]

Is saying this next stupid lol I don't know he replied last

[Asker]

The rush we get in things we are passionate about is what makes life so great!😎 besides motorcross what else do you enjoy?😜 What made you wave to me by the way I'm a tad bit curious?🤔

[Asker]

Or what should I do

[Guy13]

There needs to be more mounting up the horse in your relationship !!

[Asker]

We aren’t dating he just messaged me one day but he told me this back to my comment so I’m guessing not interested in me

[Asker]

Right! Pretty much anything fun mike that. Surfing, mountain biking snowboarding. Guitar! I never respond back on my vids ever and I thought id say hey back. And also making sure you were all good.

[Guy13]

Men depress me more than women today 🤷🏻‍♂️ Good luck 🍀 with it.

[Asker]

So he’s not right lol