Is he falling out of love?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has been extremely distant lately. He doesn’t bother asking about my day or calling, or texting me. When he does text, is after hours and then we don’t talk anymore. He mentioned a couple of days ago that he was stressed, but he didn’t tell me why - and I tried helping him, but he said he was fine. I’m considering telling him how I feel neglected before doing something serious like breaking up. I love him very much, and it hurts when he gets distant. I feel like a total stranger, it’s like we are not even in a relationship. Any tips or advice?

[Anonymous]

How long has it been going on for? Because I did this exact thing while I was going through a rough phase of my life a few months ago. I was going through the pain of losing my closest brother, the most traumatic event that's ever happened in my life, and I didn't want contact with anyone other than him in his final days. I went super distant on my girlfriend and she got upset because she thought I was ignoring her. Some guys will open up to their girlfriend about their problems, but a lot of us won't accept help from anyone so don't take it personally if he rejects your efforts to support him.

And don't tell him you're feeling neglected. You don't know what he's going through and it can come across as a really selfish thing to say. I'd never been mad at my girlfriend before, but I was so angry when she asked why I was being distant and ignoring her. I hadn't communicated my situation with her and she had no idea what I was going through so it was completely justified for her to ask, but during that rough time, it just seemed so selfish of her to say something like that and I completely shut her out because of it.

So my advice would be to just express that you're there for him, don't do or say anything that'll make you an additional source of stress to him, and just wait it out.

[Asker]

I was just going to say that I was there for him and that he could trust me, but I also can’t stand feeling like I don’t matter at all to him. I guess I’ll wait for a bit.

[Asker]

And it has been going on for like a week. Curiously, he started acting this way after asking me if I was still happy with him and that he worried he was too busy. So, I just can’t help but assume the worst - like he’s pushing me away on purpose.

[Opinion Owner]

A week isn't too long, just give it time and make him feel like you care about him

[Asker]

I am making sure he knows I care. But he doesn’t even talk to me, at all.

[Opinion Owner]

I didn't talk to my girl at all either. Give it another week and if nothing changes then try and talk with him in person and tell him how you feel.

[mooky06]

He probably isn’t trying to be distant on purpose. Like you said he said he was stressed out. Just let him know that you are there to help and support him if you need too and give him some time. Some guys will ask for help and support and other guys kind of will just deal with it themselves

[Asker]

I told him that and he ignored me, he’s barely talking to me. I don’t even get a “hello” anymore.