I was talking with a guy - and in the middle of conversation he picks up a transparent plastic wrap that I dropped on the floor unknowingly - so I wondered what he was doing as he bent down unexpectedly, so I also bend down with him and we both hit her heads --- so why did he bend down all of the sudden unexpectedly? how to tell him to not pick up my things as I dont like people doing my things for me?
1 mo
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Okay, first off, what you really want to be doing here is just expressing to him your preference to be autonomous, and you need to then realise that someone doing something around you which happened to benefit you doesn't undermine that in any way, shape or form.
Even if the person is doing it out of some idea "Hey this will be in my credit to do", well their in for a rude awakening right. Though, should people really be on eggshells around you afraid how your going to see innocent acts like picking up some litter?
So, if you dropped it unknowingly, what is more annoying...
Him pointing out your littering, or him politely attempting to pick it up for you? or is it better he's a slob and just ignores the litter? or him saying "Do you know you dropped something?" when maybe you did perfectly well know and now this comment is annoying.
Why should you be dictating how he acts? after all you don't like people doing things for you (meaning your protective of your position, meaning you don't want them to act for you, which is a way of dictating possibly how you should have acted perhaps), but how do you know he's doing it for you? I mean really know, or maybe you assume because it was once your wrap. If I pick up some litter someone else dropped its because it bugs me anyone dropped it, I'm not doing it "for them", though I might be annoyed about them not being careful not to litter.
My advice is, accept people for what they do. It's not all about ourselves.
To be clear, I don't want this to come across mean, but to hopefully reflect mabye your not thinking about this in the best way for your point of concern, which appears to be not becomming some 'doll' for a guy to pamper, but if I'm wrong, I guess I just replied to what was here and hope it might help someone.