What does : any guy will f*ck you but no one will date you mean?

[Anonymous]

I was recently told by a guy friend that any man will sleep with me but no one will date/marry me. I'm 23 and I have never dated anyone before, I also haven't partaked in any 'physical' activities.

I'm wondering why he perceived me that way and if I'm sending out signals that I'm only looking for something casual.

I am looking for a long term partner actually and I strongly believe in monogamy so this view of me really suprised me.

[MrOracle]

I disagree with him - and I have no idea why he said what he said - but there is *some* underlying truth in what he said. It's just not the whole truth.

It *is* true that men often and happily have sex with women that they have no romantic or relationship interest in. Most men can have casual sex without getting emotionally attached (unlike women, most of whom DO get emotionally attached even when they actively don't want to), so it's easy for many men to have casual sex just for the sake of having sex, and have no feelings about it afterwards. Not ALL men do this, but probably a majority do at least sometimes.

It's also true that many fewer men are looking for serious relationships today - and the more attractive a guy is, and the more girls want him, the LESS likely he is to want a relationship with anyone. Guys who are really attractive can get casual sex easily, and nearly all of them prefer to just keep doing that, because then they don't have to deal with the majority of the downsides of a relationship, while still getting most of the upsides.

However, there ARE good men (not necessarily the BEST looking or MOST successful men, but good, moral men, some of whom are above average in those categories) who are looking for a serious relationship with a QUALITY woman, who would very much consider you, given your background. (This assumes that you also have a good personality to match your good morals and values.) Yes, you DO have to look harder and you have to vet (i. e., screen/filter) men thoroughly to make sure they are serious about having a relationship and that they also have good morals and values, and have compatible life-goals with you, but you absolutely CAN find such men with a bit of effort. That's the part that this guy either doesn't believe or is trying to pretend don't exist. Well, they DO exist, and if you are serious, and make an effort, you will find them.

[AviatorTom]

That you have never dated could be sending off vibes that you are not dating material, but you are attractive... hence a guy may not want to date you but might want to have sex with you.

Just curious... in your opinion, why have you never dated?

[Asker]

It's culturally not accepted here and also I'm in the age bracket where guys will do absolutely anything to get you to sleep with them. When a guy expresses interest, almost all the time they express wanting something physical almost immediately. This is off putting as they dgaf about you actually and it's obvious you are more like a prize. For example my country is divided into north and south, and the boys from the south will emotionally manipulate woman from the north to date them and sleep with them in the promise of marriage. In their late 20's these men will dump them and marry a woman from the south due to societal pressure. It's hard to date when there is no future and so cheating is rampant.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Reminds me of this Euphoria quote:

"You are so fcking boring. Hey, I'm gonna be honest with you because no one else will. Any guy who says he's interested in you beyond just fcking you, is full of shit"

[Chevy1_kb]

Using or maybe just not ready for a relashionship yet but probably using am just saying

[Kaneki05]

Maybe it's advice or he's a dick. He could be simply saying that many will want sex with you but dating and marrying is a different issue which it is.
A lot of guys just want to use you for sex nothing more.
But saying no one will date/marry you is just wrong, someone will.

[Anonymous]

Well w out getting your emotions involved, is what he said true? Have you actually ever had a long term relationship or have all your “relationships” been just sexual? It could be the vibe you put off. Some men can just pick up on girls who are easy. Maybe word gets around from other dudes who have slept w you, maybe w in the office space.

[123Justme123]

Obviously you didn't read the whole question

[Opinion Owner]

@123Justme123 obviously I’m not talking to you. There’s a reason why I asked that even though I read it 3 times.

[Asker]

I've never been in a relationship, I've also never slept with someone. Haven't even gone first base with someone (with consent). TMI but I come from a culture where sex before marriage is a sin and honor killing is not out of the norm. Also the guys in my culture use woman and almost 99.9% of the time marry someone else. And the repercussions that come from dating is honestly not worth it.

[Opinion Owner]

So maybe the dude said that cause he wanted to sleep w you but you didn’t out of respect for yourself as well as your culture. So he was just saying some dumb shit to make you feel bad. Is it ok to date outside of your culture if that’s how a lot of men in your culture are?

[DextroShade]

Just as you have some guys you friend-zone and others you would date, men also have categories for women: recreational use only and relationship material. If guys only want sex from you it is likely because there is something about you that makes them think you aren't relationship material; it could be having danger hair, tattoos, piercings, being annoying, being a feminist, etc. You should take a serious look at not just yourself but also the men you are choosing.

[LazerBean]

If you don't sleep around and don't seem like someone who sleeps around, then I would say he is triggered over something and is just projecting.

[Anonymous]

If you are wondering why he perceived you that way, just ask him. I cannot read his mind or judge you based on a few lines of text. Do you have a quality that makes it difficult for people to interact with you (e. g. condescending, arrogant, manipulative etc.)? If you do, maybe that is why.

[Asker]

Hmmm.. that makes sense, I'm a little stand-offish with men in particular. I guess it does come across as arrogant.

[Anonymous]

Your question has no context. First off I have a hard time believing even at 23 you're so naive as to not understand what that means. So your question has definite troll vibes. He's either dogging you. Or he's trying save you from yourself. This is where the context of this comment is relevant.

[JacobJordan]

Likely based on how you dress, act and your past possibly (if you have had mutliple past partners) Also could be based on your activities drinking smoking drugs partying. Could be because of your weight (if you are fat)

[Dinklex3]

That’s a shitty thing for a friend to say.

Ask him why he’d say that.

[PeachyPie93]

Depends are you ugly or possibly fat? If so that is what he means.

[Fireguy17]

you are fine for sex, but not to get into a relationship with.

[Chelsdope0]

Same thing was told to me


I got some work done… I’m avg looking..

[laly520]

a guy "friend" I doubt thats a friend

[LiamJHayden]

Probably speaks more to the mindset of many men of our generation than it does to anything about you.

[Anonymous]

U should be angry at him for saying that. This guy should know his boundaries.

[Asker]

I told him to shut up but I honestly wonder if that's how others see me. It's disturbing how people like him think.

[Opinion Owner]

Girl same. Few days ago my male friend treated me as if i slut. But i unfriended him immediately. Then he apologised me when i told him that it hurts me that he thinks of me as that kind of girl. Then i stopped being flirty with him. Now he thinks of me as innocent girl

[Opinion Owner]

It is big lesson for me that us girls should not be too nice to these guys. They take it wrong. They do not deserve our kindness

[Asker]

Yess... they always take it too far. And if you're distant, they call you an arrogant b*tch. I'll keep my distance from now on

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah yesterday he said that u have ego problem. But it is better to be called arrogant than being labelled as cheap person😊

[Anonymous]

He means you're annoying but if a guy could put duct tape over your mouth he would love to fuck you

[Anonymous]

it's a crude insult. It means the guy who said that thinks you sleep around and are easy and guys know that. It's his opinion of you.

[nawtee_me]

It is not a good thing in that you are only good as a cum dump and nothing more…..

[NibirX]

Well that basic means someone is cheap, cause any normal guy will never give up chance of free fuck but commitment takes efforts.

[Anonymous]

He’s jealous of u and wants to dim your shine

[spartan55]

Sounds like a great friend there.

[shortster]

You're hot, but you aren't relationship material.

[KrakenAttackin]

Do you wear the hoe uniform?

[Sabretooth]

maybe it's your lifestyle.

[Slim57]

Means your personality is horrendous

[jahaims]

Ask him