How do I stop feeling like this?

[Anonymous]

So I’m considered “very attractive” (I put quotations because I don’t like referring to myself as that it feels too cocky) but I’m having this problem where I respond really negatively to people who get very shy / awkward around me. Things like people avoiding eye contact, purposely ignoring / avoiding me and some cases of people being rude to me for no reason. How do I stop responding negatively to this stuff? For example if I try handing someone their receipt at my job sometimes they try walking away before I get the chance to do so and even if I try telling them they pretend they don’t hear me. Things like this are very irritating and I’ve tried posting about this but people made me seem like an asshole for feeling this way. So how do I control this feeling I get when that happens because stuff like this end up ruining my whole day and I just start ignoring everyone

Updates

1 y

I’ve really tried talking to myself about this and try being nice when this happens but I genuinely can’t control feeling upset. I’ve honestly tried controlling it and I just can’t help but be annoyed / irritated.

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are some suggestions for how to stop letting other people's awkwardness or rudeness ruin your day:

1. Remind yourself not to take it personally. Their reactions are about their own insecurities/issues, not you. Try to have compassion for what they might be feeling even if their behavior is rude.

2. Practice mindfulness. When you notice the negative feelings rising, label them ("I'm starting to feel irritated") without judgment. Breathe through it and refocus on the present moment rather than dwelling.

3. Challenge negative thought patterns. When thoughts like "They're being an asshole" come up, counter them with more balanced perspectives ("They seem shy/awkward"). Question whether you have all the facts.

4. Talk to yourself with kindness. Say encouraging things like "It's ok, their reaction isn't about my worth." Or give yourself permission to let it go - "Their behavior says more about them than me."

5. Change your internal monologue. Instead of dwelling on the negative interactions, redirect your thoughts to things you're grateful for in that moment.

6. Try not to take work interactions personally at all. Their rudeness likely has nothing to do with you as a person.

It takes practice but being less reactive will serve you better in the long run. Don't be so hard on yourself if you slip up - each time will get a bit easier. You've got this bro!

[Asker]

Appreciate it man thank you these are really helpful tips I’ll keep in mind for the future

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem dude, happy I could help! Yeah it always sucks dealing with haters and awkward people, but you gotta rise above it. Easier said than done sometimes though, I feel you. Just remember you seem like a chill guy and that's all that really matters.

And who knows, maybe those shy people are actually just hella intimidated 'cause you're so good lookin'! Haha. Nah but for real, own that shit and don't let anyone dim your shine, man. You keep doin' you and the real ones will see how cool you are. We all got our days where stuff gets to us - that's normal. But you'll find your way to let it roll off your back more over time.

Stay positive my man. And hey, if you ever need to blow off steam again, I got you. That's what the bros are for! Keep your head high.

[Asker]

Loll you cool asf bro fr appreciate it I’ll definitely work on it. I’m gonna try keeping it positive

[Oliverlogan263]

For sure man, keeping a positive mindset is key. Easier said than done sometimes when people are acting weird, but gotta remind yourself it ain't about you. As long as you know you're being a good dude, that's all that matters. And definitely hit up the squad to blow off steam - we all got each other's backs. You got this bro, just focus on the people treatin' you with respect and keep doin' your thing. Can't let a few haters bring a chill guy down. You got this in the bag!

[Mr_twoface]

Maybe you need to be in a job where people respect you and show you respect for what you do. If you are "very attractive" in your own definition, don't let it go to waste. Take advantage of it and find something or do other things, which not only makes you happy but is positive in your approach.

As for the rest, it comes with experience. Sadly, there is no universal move or studies you can take to overcome your expression/feeling. Whenever this does happen, allow yourself, to think positively about the situation and find methods on ur own to stop responding negatively.

[Asker]

Thank you for being respectful about it I really appreciate it. Ur right I definitely need to find healthy ways to deal with it

[Mr_twoface]

The thing is that you may find it, yet still no matter all your efforts, you may still not receive the respect you deserve. people in general approach others based on their upbringing, experience and personality. Some are just bias and have no positivity in them and sadly that affects others. In the end, if you are still not happy despite your efforts, change job and/or do something you enjoy doing. Sure, it may be a lot of work involved to take the step... but receiving positive energy both towards yourself and within... is totally worth it! Best of luck man!

[Anonymous]

Honey, we all get there sometimes. The best thing is to figure out what's bugging you. Talk to a good friend, someone who listens without judgment. If it's a big deal, maybe consider reaching out to a therapist, they can help you sort things through and develop tools to feel better. In the meantime, do things that make you happy, take a hot bath, read a good book, anything that helps you relax and recharge. You got this!

[Asker]

Yea I’ve thought about getting a therapist. I’ve had a few in the past that didn’t work out but that would definitely be a good step in the right direction. Thank you for the input

[IslaTheWitch]

you have to exercise it... you can't change the behavior without changing the way of thinking. People won't change their behaviors so you have to change the way you perceive them and align your behavior accordingly. Retrospection helps a lot

[Asker]

True. It’s just really hard because in my opinion I don’t think I’m worth the reactions I get which is part of the reason I think I act so negatively about it. But yea ur right it most likely won’t change until I’m older so im gonna just try keeping a positive attitude towards it