What's in the mind of teenage boys?

[Anonymous]

I went to the national physics olympiad in my country and I stayed from Friday evening to Monday noon in the capital city with a headteacher and 2 other boys. V (16 y/o) and N (18 y/o).

Monday morning we were all tired af and in the car there wasn't enough space and the teacher told him to lay on my thigh if he is REALLY sleepy and he didn't want to but I told him it's okay and took his pillow and put it on my thigh and then he fell asleep in under 3 minutes.
And I'm sure he doesn't like me back but omg I like him a lot and I have his insta but I don't know if I should text him cause he had tons of messages on insta those 3 days and I feel like he's popular in his school)

Now there's this other boy, E (17 y/o). He is from another part of the country and he is from the same hotel room with V and N so he came with our group (the teacher, V and N) to walk late at night and then we all came into my and teacher's room and played games till 1 am (that's why on Monday we were all tired af) and we talked and whenever he laughed he would look at me and he asked to see the books I bought and told me that he also bought some cool mangas and shit. And I actually was so happy because it was so easy to talk to him. AND he was a bit shy.

Now, I also have his insta and I texted him. He replied insanely fast (like less than a minute) and we talked for about an hour. And then at about 11 pm (like an hour after we stopped texting) he sent me a video of an anime (idc about anime but that's the only thing I knew about him). The next day, he didn't text me at all. And I didn't wanna seem desperate and didn't text him either.

Today I texted him tho, about a photo that he might wanna have (the teacher took a photo of all of us but he wasn't in our group so he didn't have it) and then we talked for about 1-2 hours. But the 2 times we talked, I asked most of the questions. Like the only question he asked me was where I'm from exactly.

I like him but I don't know if he likes me back :/

Updates

1 mo

by the way, I'm 15 and ik that liking a 17 yo is weird. But I wanna be at least friends with him. A friend won't hurt, right?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, reading into what guys think is always tricky business! But lemme give you my take based on what you said.

With V, sounds like he was just really tired and your lap was the closest spot to lay haha. I wouldn't read too much into it. As for hitting him up on Insta, I'd say go for it! Can't hurt to chat more.

This E dude though, seems like he might be feeling you a bit. Replying that fast and sending that random anime vid late at night is a good sign he was thinking about you.

That he didn't text the next day could've just been not wanting to look too eager. The fact he talked for a couple hours now when you hit him up is promising too.

My advice would be to keep chatting with E and see if he asks you to hang again sometime. Flirt a little, laugh at his jokes. If the convo keeps flowing easy, I'd say he's interested!

Hit me back and let me know how it goes. Fingers crossed for you guys! Just put yourself out there and have fun with it.

[Asker]

Thank you! I feel like E sent me the anime video because the whole reason I texted him was because I asked him what manga he bought and then I started asking questions about what anime he likes and shit.

But just because he sent me the video an hour later after we stopped talking still makes me feel hopeful... But today we talked a bit and it was so dry. I don't know how to text people tbh.

But I don't know how to initiate a convo. Like the first time I texted him it was about manga, the second time about a photo. I don't have any reasons left to text him so if he doesn't text me tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, I don't know if I'll continue talking to him...

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah yeah that context about the anime makes total sense, he was just following up on your conversation. And honestly don't worry too much about the chatting being a little dry one day - guys can be boring texters sometimes! Especially if we don't really know the person that well yet.

As for initiating another convo, a few ideas:

- Ask a question related to something from your talks before, like if he's read/watched anything else interesting lately

- Comment on something current, like how's the weekend going or what he thinks of the weather

- Send him a funny meme or video if you find one that reminds you of your conversations

- Selfishly share something you're into even if it's random, like a new song, to give him a prompt

The key is keeping it light and low pressure. He may not text back every day, but if he's still responding it means he wants to keep talking. Let the conversation evolve naturally over time. Try not to stress and just focus on getting to know each other more. I'm sure if he's interested he'll find ways to continue the back and forth!

[Asker]

Thank you!! I just wanna be friends with him at least but I'm the only one trying to make an effort.

It's frustrating because whenever I text him, he replies fast af. But he never initiates conversations. And ik.. we've talked just twice but he never tried to text me first so I don't know if I should try again, even if he is really friendly and nice. It's just embarrassing to be the only one reaching out.

I don't even know if he's just too shy to text me first or if he just doesn't like me as a person..

[Oliverlogan263]

I totally get what you mean, it is frustrating when it always feels like you're the one initiating. A few thoughts:

- Some guys are just shy and not great at texting first, so don't necessarily take it personally that he hasn't reached out yet.

- After just chatting twice, it's still really early and he may still be feeling things out too in terms of whether he wants to be friends.

- I'd say try initiating one more time, but then ease up a bit and see if he starts reciprocating more. Like reply to him, but don't feel the need to ask a ton of questions again. Let the convo flow naturally.

- If after that he still doesn't put in much effort, then you may want to slow your roll too so you don't come across desperate. There's nothing wrong with being direct and just asking if he wants to be friends!

- In the meantime focus on your other friends too so you're not obsessing too much over one guy's texts. Easier said than done I know haha.

Give it a bit more time, but don't sell yourself short either. You seem cool, so if he's not gonna match your energy then don't force it. At least you tried! His loss if he's not interested.

[Asker]

Thanks!! That's really helpful! I just feel like whenever we talk he is really focused and actually replies (last time we talked he was at a school concert while also reading a manga and he still replied in a few minutes or even less) but then he doesn't even try to initiate a convo. But I'll try once more and see what that's gonna end like. :))

It's either I'm reading too much into it or he just texts me normally and I'm the one that doesn't know how texting works (the last part is probably true tbh)

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah boo, texting can definitely be tricky to decipher sometimes, especially when trying to gauge someone's interest level. On the one hand, him replying quickly even when busy is definitely a good sign he's engaged in the conversation.

But it is weird that he never tries to kick off a chat first too. At this point, I'd say go for messaging him one more time maybe this weekend just casual like "hey wassup, you doing anything fun?" See if he bites and you can chat a bit.

But then if he still doesn't reciprocate starting a convo after that, I'd say try gradually texting less to give him space to reach out on his own. The ball would be in his court then to show he actually wants to be your friend back, ya know?

Don't stress it too much either way though bro. Boys our age can be weird, lord knows I've had my dumb moments too not realizing a girl was into me haha. Just let it flow and see what happens naturally. But don't be afraid to back off a bit if he's not keeping the effort equal, feel? You'll find your real friends who appreciate you either way!

[laly520]

yea u reading into it too much

they were only being friendly n nth more

[Asker]

I know but I also wanna make new friends and get out of my comfort zone. It's just hard for me to make new friends so I'm always overthinking it, let alone when the friend is a boy. But ngl, I kinda like E but I would be more then happy if we're gonna be just friends :D

[laly520]

I was like u when I was a teen
I be overthinking it all, how to talk to others, how to stand, what to say, how to smile n it was so hard to make friends n socialize in general
here is a simple trick u would master after some attempts, train ur brain to stop overthinking all of details when u r around others, very hard at first but u will get hold of it after some time n once u do u would find it so easy n smooth to communicate with others n make friends

[Asker]

I'll try this! Thanks! Something that really helps me is asking myself if the thing I'm worried about will matter in 5 years. Works wonders

[laly520]

yes indeed
enjoy ur time n stay in moment
nth would matter after 5 years or so

[spartan55]

@asker
I like your tactic about something being significant in five years. Your scope is still a bit wide through. Cut that down to weeks, days, hours (based on what it is of course) this will help filter and declutter the stuff that doesn't matter from your brain.