Does have feelings or not?

[Anonymous]

started off dating, he said wasn't comfortable if i was dating others so appeared we were exclusive. first few months great, plenty of communication, pictures, sharing our lifes and days, see each other twice per week. He wasn't greatly emotional but felt like he really liked me and i did him. After a few months it appeared he started to get cold feet due to the distance between us. I noticed he started to pull away just a bit but we agreed to see where it goes anyway. Fast forward to 4 months later, i asked if he had feelings, he stumbled and said well not saying i dont... next day we chat and he says actually no i dont have feelings, sorry. I panic and say okay, neither do i really (obviously i did, he couldnt have not known that as im far more emotional in messages), so lets just be friends with benefits. we have been friends with benefits for 3 months now, but gradually the messages from him are further apart, quite boring, no pictures from him etc... but we still text daily even if just a few messages and we still see each other to stay over once a week or fortnight. its clear we are both dating others, but we dont talk about it. i have strong feelings for him and really miss our life before where he showed me attention and shared his life with me more. I just can't understand if he has feelings or not. he's a bit of a serial dater after one long term 12 year relationship. I so want this to work, but i guess im just being an idiot! when we're together we hug and kiss and touchly feely. Am i just a habit he's finding hard to break?

[_Maya_]

I am sure he has feelings. The better question is what kind of feelings. I doubt he would waste time talking/texting every day and also traveling to see you once a week or so if he didn't have some sort of feelings for you. That costs money I'm sure. It would be a waste of time if he felt nothing for you. The part I am more interested in is in the beginning you said you weren't seeing others and he wasn't but then you say it is pretty clear you both are but don't talk about it. If neither of you have admitted to that then how can you be sure he is. You know I f you are and I find it odd that you are concerned what sort of feelings he has for you if you are dating other people.

[Asker]

i date others as a distraction. he goes off radar some nights, and well he's a guy, why wouldn't he be seeing others, he's single and very attractive.

[Avicenna]

Sounds like each if you had a different understanding from the get-go. Communication is key in a relationship. Time for you to move on from him.

[Asker]

what he told me at the beginning he wanted, didn't transpire that way. i feel like he lead me on massively maybe

[Iron_Man]

You guys are really not good for each other. How long have you known him? you’re both cold to each other and distance like he’s a stranger

[Asker]

im not cold to him. never have been. 7 months

[Iron_Man]

Well, take a break try again or find somebody else

[In_Trance]

Nope