Why would a man tell me I see why other men left you?

[Anonymous]

we are talking about a narcisstic man at that i must add... because he the next day said he doesn't want to see anybody else with me.

[DishLady]

He's just being mean if he actually said it out loud... but tbh most guys I know have thought it about women (even if they are actively interested in and sticking with the woman). They just hit a moment where they think "WTF is thiiiiis? I see why the last guy didn't make it..." Some are then prompted to leave, but the good ones figure out how to navigate whatever quirk/glitch you have and stick around. (The good ones know they're not perfect either and will make a little effort. Having said this... if you're TOO MUCH then even the good guy will throw in the towel.)

I'd recommend accepting constructive criticism from the guy IF he's a good and honest person... it will help you grow and stop whatever it is that seems to be offending the guys you're meeting. Do not tolerate toxic commentaries camouflaged as constructive criticism, however, because that's very toxic. Toxic behavior should never be tolerated or rewarded with even so much as your presence. On this note, I have a cautionary tale about toxic criticism.

I was newly-divorced and determined to just pick up the pieces of my shattered heart in baby steps, but two of my friends randomly decided that it was "time to get back on the saddle" so they invited me to a cafe and when I got there... they'd invited a guy... "for me." They had these big cheesy smiles on their faces and introduced him. I looked at the guy, who gave me a top-to-toe scan and smiled like he was ready to pounce on me.

I gave both my friends a wry look as they rattled off this guy's achievements -- on paper he was fabulous... educated, good job, blah blah blah... even easy on the eyes... ok, VERY easy on the eyes. But he had an EQ of 0 and no tact when it came to women.

To top it off... HE was also newly divorced and these two mischievous friends thought we'd be good company for one another (or something along those lines). After basic introductions, the friends made a lame excuse to leave and I ended up stranded with my coffee and this stranger with the good resume...

He asked me a couple of questions right off the bat... too personal to share with someone I didn't know at all. The next thing out of his mouth was a reaction to my polite comment that his questions were too personal... "You know what your problem is?"

He began to deconstruct... *A* woman... but acted as if it was a helpful critique to me...

I waited for him to finish, and offered a polite reply that sure... what he's saying might apply to some women but I wasn't sure how he got that from me... we just met.

He went into it again.. "You know what your problem is?"

I let the guy talk and realized he's just a toxic, broken guy, fresh off a divorce and needing therapy, not dates. I didn't say anything... and so he began with a third "You know what your problem is?"

So I answered... "Yes. I'm still here and you're still talking." I put a fiver on the table, got up and left.

Moral of the story? Know who you are and don't cave just because someone's being mean to you. I have many many guy friends and cherish their advice on life, love and other stuff, but I won't tolerate toxic behavior... no one should ever have to, guys OR girls.)

[Anonymous]

First of all how is he narcissistic? Most women associate narcissism w a man basically not giving them everything they want or kissing their ass. I think too women just hear other women say that so they say the same thing. It’s actually be proven that there’s more narcissism in women than there is in men. As for your question it could be a fact. Maybe you’re too argumentative, too much high maintenance, etc, etc. Those are things a lot of men don’t like in women so that may be why he said that cause he would probably do he same thing. It could also be that you rejected him so to spare his feelings he threw some tuning out to try to hurt you back. Sort of like when a person gets rejected they will usually say something like I really didn’t like you anyway.

[Asker]

no he even told me he was and he has plenty of other traits is why i said it. stay on topic with the question

[Asker]

yeah he gof rejected is only reason he messed up so ok there goes that

[Asker]

got*

[Opinion Owner]

So he was diagnosed w narcissism?
Well more than likely that’s the reason why he said that. But at the same time what he said may be true. I don’t know you.

[Asker]

I don't know if he was he always says he is one and he does manipulation and things of such nature im a empath. what he said isn't true i been in two relationships he knew about long before this blow up and he said i didn't deserve what happened to me and he knows i left those men lol he just thought it would hurt me and it didn't those guys was losers lol

[Opinion Owner]

Ok so than maybe he’s right. Like I said I don’t know you. But like I mentioned probably because you rejected him.

[Dantec2024]

Yeah if he's narcissistic you probably dodged a bullet, he's probably just so full of himself that that tiniest thing that you did "wrong" set him off. My father is narcissistic and he said similar things to my mother when I was younger.

[Asker]

yes omg it was small and i just say back and thought like after all the things he did to me i never belittled him and he said a bunch of hurtful things i couldnt believe it tbh

[Asker]

sat*

[Dantec2024]

Yeah 100% dodged a bullet, narcissistic people are very erratic and you never know what version of them you're going to get, just ignore these other guys that are trying to twist it on you and just do what's best for you honestly

[Asker]

maybe u can enlighten me on something else why do they try to make other people suffer?
it kind of reminds me of kids that lie to stay out of trouble

[Dantec2024]

I wouldn't say that they try to make other people suffer, it's just that they're so focused on themselves that they don't care if they make other people upset or like you said, suffer

[TommyMountainFigure]

He was probably annoyed with you for whatever reason, and tried to say something that would upset you!

[Asker]

nope mad i rejected him and was furious about it

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆

[Asker]

i missed the joke