Just after validation or something more?

[Anonymous]

Long story short - a guy I’ve worked with for 5+ years is confusing. We were friends initially, super close would chat all day about each other relationships etc and hang out but after a couple years we had one night where we joked about sleeping together and how that would be and after I got home that night we ended up sexting and did the same a few times during the week.

We kinda parted ways at the end of that year as I was tired of being confused by him as we never got past Snapchat and that was tiresome for me. This was a few years ago but we still chat and in the last year he would randomly move over to Snapchat and start getting flirty and sending nudes etc.

Most confusingly, we’ve never touched anymore than jokingly holding hands. Even now whilst he’s being flirty on SC if I go anywhere near him he flinches and moves away! People at work have always thought we must’ve slept together cos of how we are with each other. Last year I kinda told him what annoyed me e. g. the fact i was clearly into him and he showed no interest and he just blamed it on being autistic and said he regretted not having a serious convo with me about it at the time. I’m in a happy relationship now but every time he is single or dating someone he’s not interested he comes back to me. I don’t want to ask him why as I know he’ll just make up some rubbish! Guys, your opinions please! Is he actually interested but autistic or does he just want Snapchat validation when he’s lonely?

[_Maya_]

There are two things that are concerning to me. One way more than the other. I will start with that one.

" I’m in a happy relationship"

Are you though? You made an account and posted this long question about a guy you work with and the years of signs and signals. You mentioned multiple times how this has been years ago that certain things have happened. If you are in a happy relationship why are you even thinking about this? It should not matter to you at all. People in happy relationships don't obsess over stuff like this enough to make an account somewhere and get other people's thoughts. I am not saying they don't think about it but they certainly do not go to this extent. The second concern is that he is a coworker. That is a recipe for disaster even if you were not in a relationship. As for what his deal is? Who knows? We are not mind readers so the best I can do is a guess. Maybe he knows you are in a RELATIONSHIP and doesn't want to be a dick and be THAT GUY that is interfering with a girl in a relationship. Makes sense huh?

[Asker]

Hello! Yes, It’s just unfortunate that it seems this guy is going to have a little hold on me no matter what relationship I am in. Always happy to admit that but not proud of it! Also see this evaluation of my character and work dynamics irrelevant but thank you anyway 🤣

And no that doesn’t make sense because he has been trying to get me to engage in the flirty chats whilst he knows I’ve been in a relationship - sorry if I didn’t make that clear!

[In_Trance]

Why don't you just have the conversation with him

[SoJust]

I think more

[Anonymous]

Talk to him