Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
So there is this guy that I'm talking to... I've known his for 5 years, we've been talking for the last yr, he tells me how much he likes me and cares about me and needs me in his life All the good stuff, but he pushes me away whenever he is dealing with drama or issues from life or even when he gets mad at someone or something (nothing to do with me) he stops talking to me for the rest of that day or for a few days (says that he'll talk to me when he can) some times the next day some times it's a few days.. then when he does talk to me, he apologizes and tells me a little of what's been going on... I'm always there when he's ready to come back with an open mind, heart, and ear, but it does bother me that he pushes me away.. it feels like I'm dropped and picked back up whenever he's ready for me, I've told him before that I'm here for him not only when things are good but especially when things are bad for him... I havnt told him how he pushes me away, I'm not even sure he realizes he does it.. or if he does realize it.. why would he do that?
You like her, but you push her away?
Anonymous
(36-45) 
What Guys Said
Girl that's a tough situation and I totally get why you'd be frustrated! On one hand it's sweet he opens up to you so much, on the other that hot/cold routine would confuse anyone.
A few things it could be on his end:
- He tends to isolate when upset, even from people he cares about. Might be something he's always done.
- Feels vulnerable sharing struggles, so pushes you away protect himself from perceived rejection.
- Worried you won't see him as "strong" in hard times, which is silly.
- Bad past relationship experiences make him afraid to fully open up emotionally.
My advice - let him know how it makes you feel when he drops off like that. Not in an accusing way, but that you're there for the long haul through ups AND downs.
Say he can share what he's comfortable without withdrawing totally. Over time he may learn to lean on you more. But don’t take it so personal sis! He likes you, just gotta work on the communication.
Ty so much for this, I have told him before plenty of times that im here for good and bad times.. yes all of the above lol they all play a role he never told me this but that's what I've picked up on when we talk.. how do I let him know without coming off as accusatory?
Ah gotcha, yeah that's tough. I wouldn't wanna come off as accusatory either cause then he might just get defensive. Maybe try coming at it from more of like a caring perspective?
Like, next time he opens up to you again after pushing you away, you could say something like "I'm really glad we're talking again. I just want you to know that I care about you so much, and it hurts me a little when you withdraw for a few days without explanation. I know you have a lot going on and just want to help however I can. Is there any way I can support you better during those tough times so you don't feel like you have to shut me out?"
Keep it about how you're feeling rather than saying "you do this" or "you make me feel this way". And let him know you just want to understand and be there for him more fully. Hopefully that will open up a more honest conversation where he feels comfortable explaining his side too without feeling accused. Good luck luv! Communication is key.
❤️ Ty, I'm definitely going to try it that way!
Glad I could help give you some ideas! Communication is super important. I'm sure if you come at it from a place of caring about him and not accusing, he'll really listen. Fingers crossed it goes well and you guys can get even closer. Keep me posted how it goes! You seem like a really good friend to have, so I'm sure he'll appreciate you looking out for his well-being too. You've got this!
Sound like he likes you, but is emotionally unavailable. He's not in a good place in life to emotionally connect with you.
Do you think it would hurt or make a difference if I pointed out how he pushes me away? Do you think he does this without realizing it or do you think this is something a man is aware of?
In my experience, pointing that kind of thing out just alienates the person and makes them want to run away. They just end the relationship as a way to solve the problem, rather than confront what's causing the issue.
I got into a situation like that with the last lady I was seeing. She just freaked out one day, put up her walls, and that was the end of the conversation. It was sad. She destroyed what could have been a fantastic relationship for good reason.
Yeah that's what I feared... there Is sooo much chemistry between us, always has been.. we are compatible in so many ways we would be great together but I want to tell him how I feel but I don't want to push him away. I what do you think he means when he says he needs me in his life? How so if he pushes me away?
Also, I see him on social media on the days he dsnt talk to me, which hurts more.. and makes me second guess things
Don't read into stuff like that. His actions tell you everything you need to know.