Guys, what do you do to try and discourage a girl who probably likes you but you don't like her?

[Bethany22]

To discourage her from trying to ask you out or attempt to flirt with you more, do you try to avoid eye contact and look at your phone when she's talking to you, for example?

[SteveSmith1985]

No, your example is not usually what a guy would do to discourage a girl who probably likes him. It's TOO obvious. It's just plain rude. I would say that sounds more like the behavior of an extremely shy guy with a girl he likes.

To answer your question though, it's basically a matter of making REALLY sure you don't give her any indication that you might like her. If she seems to be trying to orchestrate some situation where you'll get to spend time alone... Insist on including a third person. If there's a choice to sit next to her at the meeting, or sit somewhere else, sit somewhere else. Do ZERO flirting. Zero.

And also, there's a lot of "playing dumb" involved generally. (including a third person would be an example of that). You play dumb to the fact that you're aware she likes you. But you do things (like insisting on including a third person) which a guy would NEVER EVER DO if he did like a girl. He may tell you about the other girl HE is interested in. He will emphasize that he sees you as a friend. That your someone he enjoys talking to as a friend. The word friend will come up more often than is normal.

You will notice a guy seems a little uncomfortable (similar to a crush)... but unlike a crush, he is constantly angling to get AWAY from you rather than closer. He is trying to actively do his best to send you little signs and signals that he's NOT interested. It's like reverse-flirting.

[Monalisa77]

But thats what happened with your first instant with me and u were sure he stopped liking me?

[SteveSmith1985]

@Monalisa77 Your situation wasn't this. Your situation was completely different. Yours wasn't a matter of you liking a guy who doesn't like you back. Your situation was two people liking each other, and then... for reasons unknown one day, he starts acting like he really really dislikes you. Actively disliked you. There is no question that the guy in your situation stopped liking you. He was straight-up pissed off at you (for some reason we'll never know).

This situation is a completely different situation. It would be: "what if you liked that guy, but he never liked you. How would he act.

Totally different situations. Plus, for you, the question was never whether or not he stopped liking you. That was super clear... he stopped liking you. He REALLY stopped liking you (he was pissed off or felt wronged). For you the question was WHY he suddenly went from liking you to (evidently) hating you.

[OfMiceandMen]

I wouldn't try to discourage her from being friendly, but, I would have to break it to her gently, that I am not interested.

Rejection is part of life, but we don't have to be heartless in the way we do it, it can be done with a bit of class.

I know I would be touched due to the simple fact she saw me that way and I would tell her so.

[Monalisa77]

So u think some1 cutting the girl off n acting like she didn't exist is ott just cos he didn't like her n she liked him?

[OfMiceandMen]

@Monalisa77 Not quite sure I understand you, but I am saying the exact opposite. I don't believe the guy should be an ass and reject her harshly as someday someone could do the same thing to him. What goes around comes around.

[Monalisa77]

If she didn't tell you she liked you but you figured it out, what would u do if she carried on talking about u?

[OfMiceandMen]

@Monalisa77 Until she actually told me, it would be just speculation. Why cut her off and go down a road that may be incorrect?

[Monalisa77]

So u think thats over reacting? Im asking cos thata what happened to me, but i dont kbow the full reason as he won't talk to me

[Monalisa77]

Most of the office knew i liked him, and we'd been flirting /eye contact, i made it pretty obvious

[OfMiceandMen]

@Monalisa77 You may have made it very noticeable, however, being in an office situation guys have to be very careful. There are a number of reasons why he may not want to pursue a relationship in the workplace, whether it be company policy or his own policy. Who knows, maybe he's tried it in the past and it did not turn out so well.

[Monalisa77]

He waa married for 4 years so i dont think it was that, he was keen at first to come out for a walk and invited me to the party he later blocked me from going. He was v careful with the flirting though, didn't actively touch me but was teasing me. id never had caused trouble for him if he didn't like me, id have preferred him to be honest instead of just acting like i didn't exist and he mustve known this as i told him what my husbands ex is doing to him

[Monalisa77]

Wtf i meant my brothers ex loools!

[StormChaser838]

Again, Beth, u are jumping to conclusions, looking at a phone and eye contact means nothing. That said, I try very polite and tactful hints, while feeling more sorry for her and not to hurt her feelings and hoping that the situation will take care of itself. But these are not mature ways to do it. I also then try talking myself into it , like she's not that bad and she will change and shit, but that's a big mistake too.

Beth, just ask the bastard,,,,, tell me a little more and I will give you a line and even how to back off, to cover your ass from both sides. But this jumping to conclusions is no good. How can you know a person's mind !!! Don't even go there, it's a loosing situation and it will make u paranoid to no end. JUST ASK THE BASTARD. he is just one fish, either way it does not matter,,,,, and I told u , u are beautiful, your lack of confidence is making you do all this stupid,,,,, maybe this and that. drop it. Just focus on how to ask. Hey, I got this crazy idea, maybe we should go around, what do u think, or maybe it's crazy, right? something like that,,,,, disguised as a joke, in a laugh, and see his reaction closely. That's all, keep doing it to all the bastards, you will get better at it. Then u will get ur picket fence. Amen !!!

[FunkyMonkee]

I just tell her a bunch of stuff about how terrible I am like, how I like to set cats on fire, I can fart The Star-Spangled Banner and perform my own fireworks show at the end with just a match. "And the rocket's red glare..." KABOOOOM, tell her how I can't wait to show her my booger collection or all the used tampons I collected when I was a janitor at the girl's school.
If any of this endears her to me even more, I just MAY have to think about keeping her!!

[Monalisa77]

He only had to tell me he vapes and id go off him😂

[FunkyMonkee]

@Monalisa77 That'd just about do it for me, too!

[ManOnFire]

I will try to drop in little lines about "my girl" here and there before it gets to a point of her ever asking me out to discourage her, and it usually works. I feel like a dickhead about it though. Fortunately none of them have ever asked me out, but if they did I would have to be honest and say I just don't like them like that.

[Sebastian2388]

I get a crank out of how she keep doing it louder and in front of different types of women like a decade'thrash.. Personally I'd go straight for a fuck to try to bluff her off.. don't need the stalker in her (even though it's a trending social skill for some reason) to come out.. make up some Multi-Level-Marketing wavering between signing mode.. Can't not try to convert it into a full close there's something always to like right

[Anonymous]

I try to not look at her or talk to her as much as possible. If she really likes me and for some reason I am avoiding her (let's say some I work with) is because it might be uncomfortable so to speak if other knew, then if she wanted anything to do with me she would have to figure out how to be discreet about it and make the first moves. Some a person doesn't know what to do.

[Opinion Owner]

And if she really likes me and can tell that I like her, then I would want her to figure out how to get us "hooked" up, and do it discreetly.

[Opinion Owner]

In other words how we can fuck and do it discreetly.

[Pegases]

I'm a flirt, so I simply won't allow the conversation to go in a flirty direction. Strictly business.

[HaveNoName]

Limit eye contact. Limit length of conversations. Never start a conversation.

If this is all happening at work, then just stick to the topic, and then, DONE.

[Anonymous]

I don't. I just let her shoot her shot and then tell her I'm not interested. If she couldn't tell I wasn't into her, that's on her, not me. Women are the "emotionally intelligent" gender, after all.

[Mansearching]

That'll never happen. Guys if annoyed enough will be straight up rude and heart breaking. But at least it'll be the truth.

[Monalisa77]

Didn't happen with me

[JDAC092299]

I bring up relationships and how I don’t want to be in one

[misogynistic_pig]

I just give monosyllabic answers and don't follow the conversation.

[JordanianNumetal]

I'm straight as straight up with out being hurtful. "listen lady, it ain't going to happen, unfortunately your not my type. "

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I still like the girl, No, very few girls I let down.

[David4358]

nothing, if she askes me out and i'm not interested I say i'm not interested.. simple

[AydenHazor]

I would personally bring up a conversation where I tell her I only see her as a friend

[Monalisa77]

This is exactly what he shouldve done

[Dinosaursandanime65]

I do t know maybe say something random but totally valid like “vote for Trump”.

[CB-Raido-Time]

I'd just be honest with her I don't like her in the same way.

[Tstrbrainer]

He'd try to avoid physical contact, continuously.
Also he'll try stay away from you.

[Guardian45]

Avoid her as much as possible.

[Sabretooth]

Tell her straight.

[Cheerfull009]

Just tell, I don't like you

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Tell her she's fat

[Anonymous]

"No thanks."